How does enneagram type 7 feel about conflict?

[schwiftyrickty]

I've typed as 7w6 for a long time (~7 years), but recently I've started to notice how much I despise conflict to the point that I feel vaguely suicidal if someone is even slightly mad at me. I hate feeling like I've stepped on toes or inconvenienced someone with my carelessness. I think highly of myself as a nice person who would never do anything to hurt anyone and it's upsetting to realize that no matter my intentions, I will never make everyone happy. Also, I keep so many of my own complaints to myself and never confront anyone else when they've hurt me (to me the confrontation is more unpleasant than any other hurtful or irritating behavior, so I just deal with it) and I expect everyone else to act the same even though I know most people don't feel that way.

Is this consistent with 7 avoidance/positivity, or would a 7 need to be more direct as an assertive type? Or does it depend more on sociotype? Perhaps it makes sense as an IEE 7 but not ILE, SEE or SLE as much? Also I am triple positive tritype. (7w6 2w3 9w8)

[maniac]

Yeah they can hate conflict if 9 fixed especially if it's second in their tritype. The difference between a 9 with a 7 fix and vice versa would be a 7s main concern is avoiding boredom, sadness, and it has a lot more fear and head energy - thats where their main concern is at. The 9 is more comfortable with sadness though probably not something actively they seek out if theyre 7 second.

[schwiftyrickty]

Actually I recall a conversation I had with my mother (who I have typed as SEE 7w8 2w3 9w8 sp/so) a while back. I was trying to confirm that she was a 7 as well and I was asking about her fears and whatnot and instead of saying something that sounded characteristically seven, she said her biggest fear is basically offending people and knowing people are mad at her. Seemed odd to me because she is a pretty loud, insensitive person in general and constantly offends people. If she doesn't want people to be mad she should be more careful about what she says. I am very careful about what I say, at least in polite company, and still seem to step on toes. Am I just as bad as her and just don't realize it? lol Though in my current predicament it is more about something I did than something I said...

[idontgiveaf]

I'm a 7 too. As much as possible i avoid conflict. Why? It doesn't make sense.

Conflict for me is just a waste of time.

You will NEVER please anyone.
Why?

Because they have different perspectives about something.

You can just agree, or disagree.. But it's hard to convince someone with your own principles.

So let people be like that.

People learn two ways:
1. From experience
2. From listening

I'm actually a 7. But I'm not the typical 7 who'll do a yolo. My enneagram is 7w8, and I'm also a type 8 and a type 4.

But I've learned that it's also important to deal with conflict especially if it's life changing.

When the conflict is mundane or nonsense, i just usually ignore.

But if it's life and death, IL try as much as possible to do something about it eventhough it's hard (because i don't like conflict actually)

I can feel you, i always try to be nice to everyone as much as possible and when someone is not being nice to me.. I just don't fight back anymore unless i have to. And when someone made my day bad, i just distract myself because it's not worth it..

Especially on strangers, some strangers are really not nice and they will make your day bad... But then, shrug it off.. And move on...

With people you know, do reverse psychology. Understand what they're coming from.. And understand yourself as well like why did this problem exist? What can i do to solve this problem?

Avoiding mundane nonsense conflict is good.

But avoiding problems due to conflict is bad...because it will just give you worry. It's a problem that must be solved.

[idontgiveaf]

Actually I recall a conversation I had with my mother (who I have typed as SEE 7w8 2w3 9w8 sp/so) a while back. I was trying to confirm that she was a 7 as well and I was asking about her fears and whatnot and instead of saying something that sounded characteristically seven, she said her biggest fear is basically offending people and knowing people are mad at her. Seemed odd to me because she is a pretty loud, insensitive person in general and constantly offends people. If she doesn't want people to be mad she should be more careful about what she says. I am very careful about what I say, at least in polite company, and still seem to step on toes. Am I just as bad as her and just don't realize it? lol Though in my current predicament it is more about something I did than something I said...

Lol probably she's just not aware that she's already being offensive

Like i think she thinks when everyone is having fun, everything is good.

Without realizing that it's offensive

It's like if everyone laughs at this offensive joke, then it's not offensive at all.

Anyways, you can never please anyone who doesn't like you

[Milo]

Wouldn't that depend on their wing? 7s with an 8 wing get into arguments and press power buttons much more often than 7w6s.

they also get into arguments as means of persuasion. If your work group is heading in one direction and the 7s envisions another goal, they will come up with a bucket full of arguments to get the group to reconsider and head where they want it as a visionary idealist type.

[maniac]

Wouldn't that depend on their wing? 7s with an 8 wing get into arguments and press power buttons much more often than 7w6s.

they also get into arguments as means of persuasion. If your work group is heading in one direction and the 7s envisions another goal, they will come up with a bucket full of arguments to get the group to reconsider and head where they want it as a visionary idealist type.

Depends on their fix mainly. Yes 7w8 will be more assertive and have a natural confidence but they can still avoid conflict if they’re 9 fixed. I know them.

[flames]

It only bothers me when it becomes annoying (as in, keeps dragging on when it should’ve been over with much sooner ) or stops me from doing something I want to do. Other than that, I have no problem asserting myself if it causes an argument and often find it exciting to fight (a lot of times I mix humor into it or find humor out of it, too, which can piss people off more lol).

It really just depends on the 7, their wing, their health level, their gut fix (maybe even heart type —> 3 will add more assertion, for example), and all that jazz. It depends on circumstances in general, too. Like, if there’s already a lot of other negativity going on at one time, I usually want it to be over with quicker.

Hope that helps.

[The Reality Denialist]

Prefer not to have it but I can end up having verbal arguments. I do relate to w6 and especially playing devils advocate which in itself is not that super peaceful, I think.

[FDG]

I usually try to avoid conflict, but if I start, I absolutely have to win. I can be quite ruthless from this point of view.

I can safely say that I don't have this belief about myself:

"I think highly of myself as a nice person who would never do anything to hurt anyone and it's upsetting to realize that no matter my intentions, I will never make everyone happy."

Overall I am more interested in results, of course among friends I will try to keep good relations with everyone, but outside of a close circle, I don't really care that much.

[Pookie]

Im a 6, and i think conflict is kind of imperative to development.

[JC1]

We talk about e7 here and Katherine Fauvre brings up that 7s are possibly the type that most hates being criticised; that it can be like a bubble popping for them (varies by tritype, stacking etc of course).

[schwiftyrickty]

Prefer not to have it but I can end up having verbal arguments. I do relate to w6 and especially playing devils advocate which in itself is not that super peaceful, I think.

I also can definitely play devil's advocate and have no problem with verbal arguments, for example about what is correct or right. To me it is amusing. And is not what I consider conflict. I mean more like people actually being mad at me and possibly holding a grudge or thinking I am a bad person.

[The Reality Denialist]

Neither do I but there are people who see debates and slapstick stuff as form of aggression.

[Tigerfadder]

The the biggest fan of it the 7evens.

[Chae]

[schwiftyrickty]

We talk about e7 here and Katherine Fauvre brings up that 7s are possibly the type that most hates being criticised; that it can be like a bubble popping for them (varies by tritype, stacking etc of course).

I do hate being criticized, unless it is criticism of negative traits I am aware of that I have accepted and just think of them as quirks. If it's serious criticism, especially of my character or intelligence, I am quite sensitive and will never forget it. I will replay that criticism over and over until the day I die lol. Trying to determine its validity and either change for the better or try to prove it wrong. I think one big part of why I hate being criticized or "called out" is because I overlook so much bad behavior from others that I feel entitled to a little wiggle room myself. In my head I have this contract with others that I will ignore minor things if they do the same with me, but others don't know it exists.

I also think I don't trust others to judge people properly and I'm afraid they will see one negative thing as indicative of my overall character or worth without remembering all my other good qualities in that moment. If something I did or something about me is so bad that you felt the need to make me so uncomfortable with the confrontation, it must be unredeemable because I would never do such a thing unless the matter was very very serious, and at that point I've probably already put the person on my bad list and they aren't likely to get off of it.

It's all a matter of me realizing that not everyone thinks the same as me I suppose. I should realize that by now since personality types are pretty much all I think about.

I think most of this is Fi related and won't apply to all sevens.

[JC1]

I think most of this is Fi related and won't apply to most sevens.

It does apply to most 7s. The difference is more in how they deal with it or how long they hold onto the hurt feelings.

[schwiftyrickty]

It does apply to most 7s. The difference is more in how they deal with it or how long they hold onto the hurt feelings.

Interesting. I can't imagine an SLE or ILE caring so much about what others think of them. It is reassuring that no one seems to think anything I've said contradicts my seven typing though.

[Olimpia]

I've typed as 7w6 for a long time (~7 years), but recently I've started to notice how much I despise conflict to the point that I feel vaguely suicidal if someone is even slightly mad at me. I hate feeling like I've stepped on toes or inconvenienced someone with my carelessness. I think highly of myself as a nice person who would never do anything to hurt anyone and it's upsetting to realize that no matter my intentions, I will never make everyone happy. Also, I keep so many of my own complaints to myself and never confront anyone else when they've hurt me (to me the confrontation is more unpleasant than any other hurtful or irritating behavior, so I just deal with it) and I expect everyone else to act the same even though I know most people don't feel that way.

Is this consistent with 7 avoidance/positivity, or would a 7 need to be more direct as an assertive type? Or does it depend more on sociotype? Perhaps it makes sense as an IEE 7 but not ILE, SEE or SLE as much? Also I am triple positive tritype. (7w6 2w3 9w8)

That sounds 9 core >> 7 core.

Yes, 7s can dislike conflict with a 9 fix, but they are also Assertive types who won't be as overly focused on "not stepping on anyone's toes" as you claim to be, even if they don't value Se.

[schwiftyrickty]

That sounds 9 core >> 7 core.

Yes, 7s can dislike conflict with a 9 fix, but they are also Assertive types who won't be as overly focused on "not stepping on anyone's toes" as you claim to be, even if they don't value Se.

I'm thinking the same thing, but I don't really relate to anything else about being a 9. Besides being rather introverted for an extravert. But I thrive on change and excitement, I'm very heady, my thoughts go a mile a minute at all times and I'm incredibly flexible in general.

[JC1]

729 is the type most sensitive to negativity, regardless of Core.

(don't think it's a Core 9 indicator though )

[schwiftyrickty]

I should also add that conflict isn't something I think about all the time. I only posted this because I found myself in a conflict which is rare for me because I'm an incredibly easy going person. I felt indignant, like what did I do to deserve this negativity? I'm the chillest person ever! I feel like I overreacted to it and was more hurt than I should be. I kind of have this self image of being the "cool one" who is cool with everyone and isn't bothered by anything. I think my future wife will probably hate me for making her always be the bad guy if we have children...lol Basically I need to marry a cold hearted bitch or my children are going to suck.

[Olimpia]

I should also add that conflict isn't something I think about all the time. I only posted this because I found myself in a conflict which is rare for me because I'm an incredibly easy going person. I felt indignant, like what did I do to deserve this negativity? I'm the chillest person ever! I feel like I overreacted to it and was more hurt than I should be. I kind of have this self image of being the "cool one" who is cool with everyone and isn't bothered by anything. I think my future wife will probably hate me for making her always be the bad guy if we have children...lol Basically I need to marry a cold hearted bitch or my children are going to suck.

Still sounds quite 9 core to me.

Ever considered 9 core with a strong secondary 7 fix before?

What is worse for you:
Conflict or Boredom. And why.

Also, what is a more common occurrence for you on a regular/daily basis:
Feeling bored/fearing boredom or avoiding conflict.

[schwiftyrickty]

Oh no, now I'm scared I'm a nine. I'm having flash backs of all the times my mom has called me "complacent". But I also think most of my closest friends+family would laugh if I told them I was a nine. I was a very mouthy/argumentative child and teenager actually. Mostly just to close family.

[schwiftyrickty]

Still sounds quite 9 core to me.

Ever considered 9 core with a strong secondary 7 fix before?

What is worse for you: Conflict or Boredom. And why.

Also, what is a more common occurrence for you on a regular/daily basis: Feeling bored or avoiding conflict.

Boredom is horrible. It feels me with existential dread. I'm almost afraid of my own head sometimes. That if I run out of interesting things to do, I will be stuck with only myself and I'll either find something horrible there, or nothing at all. I don't get bored often because I have so many interests and projects going most of the time. I'm always learning a new language or instrument or taking up poetry or trying to write a novel or I'm deciding to get into shape, etc. The few times I've been unemployed for more than a week though, I quickly nearly bored myself to insanity. It was the worst feeling, and I wasn't sure how to deal with it because I thought I was immune to boredom. I usually roll my eyes at people who say they are bored, and if they say it often I think they are stupid. There are so many things you could be doing right now, it's insulting to the universe to say you're bored. If you're bored you're not trying hard enough. But turns out I really rely on that extra stimulation from working. I also go insane at a desk job as if I was just sitting at home watching tv eight hours a day.

Conflict in which I am the one being hurt, is possibly the worst thing in the world. Or at least it feels like it at the time. I feel humiliated and like less of a person and then I am so uncomfortable around the person I can't look them in the eye until it is resolved or I've forgotten about it. But I am also confrontational in certain ways. I will never let an injustice go for example. Mostly if it's about someone else. I can't see other people be taken advantage of. And I'm very principled about certain issues. It's easy to get me incensed about some topics. You shouldn't even talk about politics with me. Though I've gotten better about this with age. I'm less likely to take a devil's advocate stance just to get people riled up and have fun. I'm actually very politically moderate and can see both sides to literally anything. That's why it's fun to debate it. This kind of sounds contradictory but it just depends on how important the topic is to me and other factors whether I will become filled with moral fury or I'll just be saying stupid shit to see their reaction. All in good fun to me though, so I am not hurt.

I guess the difference is, I don't like conflict where I am criticized because it is personal. And I treat others how I wish to be treated. I avoid personally attacking people at all costs. I don't mind arguments about semantics or opinions because in that situation it's usually not about me, it's about the thing. That is just a game to me. But sometimes things can get heated and I seem opinionated.

But another example of how I hate conflict is this: There was this lady in our restaurant several hours after the inside closed and I was in charge and people kept telling me to ask her to leave, and I couldn't ask her to leave. I just let her stay there all night until we closed for the night. And then I helped her get to the airport lol. I would've felt very uncomfortable asking her to leave just because it is policy. How can I tell an old lady to go out in the cold at 3 in the morning and not feel like an asshole? And the conversation would just be uncomfortable. What if she tried to refuse? Best just to do nothing.

[Olimpia]

Boredom is horrible. I don't get bored often because I have so many interests and projects going most of the time. I'm always learning a new language or instrument or taking up poetry or trying to write a novel or I'm deciding to get into shape, etc. The few times I've been unemployed for more than a week though, I quickly nearly bored myself to insanity. It was the worst feeling, and I wasn't sure how to deal with it because I thought I was immune to boredom. I usually roll my eyes at people who say they are bored, and if they say it often I think they are stupid. There are so many things you could be doing right now, it's insulting to the universe to say you're bored. If you're bored you're not trying hard enough. But turns out I really rely on that extra stimulation from working. I also go insane at a desk job as if I was just sitting at home watching tv eight hours a day.

Conflict in which I am the one being hurt, is possibly the worst thing in the world. Or at least it feels like it at the time. I feel humiliated and like less of a person and then I am so uncomfortable around the person I can't look them in the eye until it is resolved or I've forgotten about it. But I am also confrontational in certain ways. I will never let an injustice go for example. Mostly if it's about someone else. I can't see other people be taken advantage of. And I'm very principled about certain issues. It's easy to get me incensed about some topics. You shouldn't even talk about politics with me. Though I've gotten better about this with age. I'm less likely to take a devil's advocate stance just to get people riled up and have fun. I'm actually very politically moderate and can see both sides to literally anything. That's why it's fun to debate it. This kind of sounds contradictory but it just depends on how important the topic is to me and other factors whether I will become filled with moral fury or I'll just be saying stupid shit to see their reaction. All in good fun to me though, so I am not hurt.

I guess the difference is, I don't like conflict where I am criticized because it is personal. I don't mind arguments about semantics or opinions because in that situation it's usually not about me, it's about the thing. That is just a game to me. But sometimes things can get heated and I seem opinionated.

But another example of how I hate conflict is this: There was this lady in our restaurant several hours after the inside closed and I was in charge and people kept telling me to ask her to leave, and I couldn't ask her to leave. I just let her stay there all night until we closed for the night. And then I helped her get to the airport lol. I would've felt very uncomfortable asking her to leave just because it is policy. How can I tell an old lady to go out in the cold at 3 in the morning and not feel like an asshole? And the conversation would just be uncomfortable. What if she tried to refuse? Best just to do nothing.

I see.

First paragraph reads to me mainly as Ne Ego, xII-Ne in particular (with some hints of 7 influence), which you interpret as E7 core.

But you actually do not suffer from boredom like a 7 core individual. 4D Ni is an expert at self-entertaining the mind endlessly (due to their rich imagination; they can entertain it with a scarce supply of data from the outside world etc etc). They tend to be immune to boredom, as you said. (In contrast, people who are 7 core or wing are not immune to boredom at all, they are quick to get bored, and this often results in them being quite restless individuals, always looking for something to keep their dooming boredom at bay.) I feel the same way about it. I never suffer from boredom, as long as I am free to entertain my mind. This becomes more difficult when a certain inescapable situation is thrust upon me, but even then I can get over that easily, and just start daydreaming.

Second paragraph reads pretty much as 9w1 core.

Conflict and its relation to being personally hurt being the worst and "moral fury" etc. makes me think EII-Ne > LII-Ne, seems like an Fi issue.

All in all, based on the information provided to me so far, I'd go with 9w1 core with a secondary 7w6 fix, or 6w7 fix. There's some 7ness in you, but it is not the main issue in your persona, as far as I can tell.

[schwiftyrickty]

I see.

First paragraph reads to me mainly as Ne Ego, xII-Ne in particular (with some hints of 7 influence), which you interpret as E7 core.

But you actually do not suffer from boredom like a 7 core individual. 4D Ni is an expert at self-entertaining the mind endlessly (due to their rich imagination; they can entertain it with a scarce supply of data from the outside world etc etc). They tend to be immune to boredom, as you said. (In contrast, people who are 7 core or wing are not immune to boredom at all, they are quick to get bored, and this often results in them being quite restless individuals, always looking for something to keep their dooming boredom at bay.) I feel the same way about it. I never suffer from boredom, as long as I am free to entertain my mind. This becomes more difficult when a certain inescapable situation is thrust upon me, but even then I can get over that easily, and just start daydreaming.

Second paragraph reads pretty much as 9w1 core.

Conflict and its relation to being personally hurt being the worst and "moral fury" etc. makes me think EII-Ne > LII-Ne, seems like an Fi issue.

All in all, based on the information provided to me so far, I'd go with 9w1 core with a secondary 7w6 fix, or 6w7 fix. There's some 7ness in you, but it is not the main issue in your persona, as far as I can tell.

Lol I may have to make a typing video at some point if you're going to start questioning my socionics typing too. EII or even LII would not be farfetched for me if it wasn't for the fact that I am the antithesis of Ixxj temperament. But the only thing I am nearly 100% sure of there is that I am indeed Ne ego, or at least valuing.

I will certainly look into being a 9. It's not something I ever seriously considered. I have been solid on my 7w6 typing for a very long time, except for about a week long period in the middle where I thought I was 6w7.

And out of curiosity, are you actually suggesting there is some reason to believe I am not IEE, or does Ne creative just seem more likely for a 9?

[WinnieW]

I try to avoid physical confrontations but not argumentative confrontations, but this seems likely with Ti + Ne ego + Se PoLR.
Without new information my mind start looping or spinning around information I already know.

[Olimpia]

Lol I may have to make a typing video at some point if you're going to start questioning my socionics typing too. EII or even LII would not be farfetched for me if it wasn't for the fact that I am the antithesis of Ixxj temperament. But the only thing I am nearly 100% sure of there is that I am indeed Ne ego, or at least valuing.

I will certainly look into being a 9. It's not something I ever seriously considered. I have been solid on my 7w6 typing for a very long time, except for about a week long period in the middle where I thought I was 6w7.

And out of curiosity, are you actually suggesting there is some reason to believe I am not IEE, or does Ne creative just seem more likely for a 9?

There is almost no one I know who can relate (well) to the stereotypes of the Ij temperament, except for mistyped SLI-Te individuals, ironically.* Mostly because SLI-Te people tend to be more conscientious, and Ij stereotypes are all about conscientiousness. Which is a mistake. Ij types can be messy or lazy, too, especially the 9s. Fi or Ti are neither inherently conscientious. Being Ti or Fi lead makes you Ij, but it doesn't make you conscientious by default. Gulenko's take on the temperaments seems to be the most accurate, he focuses more on the energies and not the conscientiousness stereotype. At last, subtype skews temperament to an extent. EII-Ne would resemble Ep temperament because of boosted Pe. Etc.

And yes, EII-Ne fits 9w1 core much better.

P.S: Yeah, I am always ranting about the Ij temperament stereotypes in Socionics, simply because they are full of issues (imo).

*ILI-Te can be quite conscientious too, but I rarely see them on socionics forums/groups, and if they are, they typically type themselves correctly. It is rare to find a real ILI who mistypes themselves. But a lot of people who self type as ILI are mistyped non-conscientious and/or smart xSIs, ha. The same applies to IEIs.

[schwiftyrickty]

There is almost no one I know who can relate to the stereotypes of the Ij temperament, except for mistyped SLI-Te individuals, ironically. Mostly because SLI-Te people tend to be more conscientious, and Ij stereotypes are all about conscientiousness. Which is a mistake. Ij types can be messy or lazy, too, especially the 9s. Fi or Ti are neither inherently conscientious. Being Ti or Fi lead makes you Ij, but it doesn't make you conscientious by default. Gulenko's take on the temperaments seems to be the most accurate, he focuses more on the energies and not the conscientiousness stereotype. At last, subtype skews temperament to an extent. EII-Ne would resemble Ep temperament because of boosted Pe. Etc.

And yes, EII-Ne fits 9w1 core much better.

P.S: Yeah, I am always ranting about the Ij temperament stereotypes in Socionics, simply because they are full of issues (imo).

I get that for the most part. My dad is actually the SLI-Te you mentioned lol It's hard to imagine he's irrational but SLI still fits great. I also have a brother-in-law who is interested in mbti but refuses to get on board with socionics because he identifies so strongly as an INFJ in MBTI and I'm pretty sure he's IEI. He can't get behind the P lol. He's highly conscientious. So I agree that the j/p thing is mostly nonesense, but the only thing that every test has ever confirmed about me is that I am Exxp. I am so not conscientious it's not even funny. The words rational and irrational would have to be totally meaningless for me to be rational in any sense. The best word to describe me is probably distracted. Best phrase probably 'doing my own thing'. Got me in trouble in school a lot. I could see how that could point to nine as well, but I was also pretty anti authority. I feel like a nine would try to blend more and would go along with rules just because it's easier. That was definitely not the case with me. I was usually polite to teachers though. Just wouldn't do my work or show up to class, and in classes where I had a lot of friends I was pretty disruptive. If I didn't know a lot of people, I was extremely quiet and would just read or work on my own little projects. And I dropped out of school as soon as I was legally old enough.

[Olimpia]

I get that for the most part. My dad is actually the SLI-Te you mentioned lol It's hard to imagine he's irrational but SLI still fits great. I also have a brother-in-law who is interested in mbti but refuses to get on board with socionics because he identifies so strongly as an INFJ in MBTI and I'm pretty sure he's IEI. He can't get behind the P lol. He's highly conscientious. So I agree that the j/p thing is mostly nonesense, but the only thing that every test has ever confirmed about me is that I am Exxp. I am so not conscientious it's not even funny. The words rational and irrational would have to be totally meaningless for me to be rational in any sense. The best word to describe me is probably distracted. Best phrase probably 'doing my own thing'. Got me in trouble in school a lot. I could see how that could point to nine as well, but I was also pretty anti authority. I feel like a nine would try to blend more and would go along with rules just because it's easier. That was definitely not the case with me.

Hmm sounds like you could be a Sx/So 9w1? ^^'
Sorry for putting everything on its head with you here, ha, but I also considered Sx/So when you talked about the moral political stuff above.
(Sx/So 9 would blend in less, being contraflow.)

[schwiftyrickty]

Hmm sounds like you could be a Sx/So 9w1? ^^'
Sorry for putting everything on its head with you here, ha, but I also considered Sx/So when you talked about the moral political stuff above.
(Sx/So 9 would blend in less, being contraflow.)

You wouldn't be the first to suggest I'm sx/so and not so/sx. My lack of passion and real connection in relationships just makes me have doubts. Otherwise I do relate to sx except in that area. I'm quite unromantic and unsentimental, I'm okay with not being in contact with an S/O for long periods of time, I have never been jealous in my life, if anything I like to see her get a little attention. Makes me feel like she's more in demand and then I feel special for having her lol. And even if I suspected something was going on, I'd probably not react strongly. I have very intense interest in topics, basically. But not really people. I kind of see people as subjects to study. I think this is somewhat normal for all personality enthusiasts though, right? The studying of people. But beyond having fascinating conversations with people and learning more about them, I feel like I am less attached than normal. I just went through a breakup after five years, two engaged. We're still on good terms and I didn't cry one time even though I still love her and have positive feelings for her. I would still be with her now if it weren't for a couple of mutual deal breakers, yet my reaction to the breakup was pretty much eh. Can't wait to see if I can do better. A little excitement really. Even though I loved her, I'm really trying to find a specific person and I don't know if she's as close as I'm going to get, so I feel hope. For both of us really, she could do a lot better too haha But really, I can't think of anyone in my life that I would be devastated if they were to suddenly disappear. I make new friends quickly, and family is just circumstance. I like having some of them around, but if I thought they were bad people all of a sudden I'd drop them quickly.

Not trying to find reasons against everything you say. I'm really arguing with myself more than anyone. I've had the same thoughts recently, now I have to defend my original typing that I was so sure of. Especially IEE really fits me very well on 99% of things. Only issue I have is that I seem to despise Se over any other element which would point to EII or less likely LII. Pretty much every person I've ever hated has been SLE. And I can see where my Polr could be Ti because I'm notoriously bad at explaining things without including unnecessary details and completely confusing everyone around me. And needing an annoying amount of detail to grasp certain topics. But Se seems more sensitive. I feel like I'm too soft and I don't like it. Ti seems more like something I could work on. I chalk this up to being Ne subtype, but maybe Se is just my polr. I just realized that being EII would make my dual LSE though and I find LSEs somewhat annoying, while SLIs are more lovable. And I gravitate towards introverts, romantically and otherwise. I need to do some major soul searching haha

[flames]

That sounds 9 core >> 7 core.

Yes, 7s can dislike conflict with a 9 fix, but they are also Assertive types who won't be as overly focused on "not stepping on anyone's toes" as you claim to be, even if they don't value Se.

Yup! I’m not so sure about OP’s type yet (since I hardly know the guy lol), but that’s also stuck out to me as “not 7”. I can’t think of any 7 I know who hates conflict that much, including the ones with 9 fixes (they smile and joke in conflict more but they’re still very assertive and know when to put their foot down, regardless of whether they value Se or Ne). They will avoid it sometimes when they don’t feel like ruining their happiness (even still, when they want something and someone is in their way, they won’t hesitate to confront ), but they’re not constantly afraid of it like OP suggests he is (which is 9, yes).

Good point.