This is the questionnaire form sedecology, because this sides' crashed 2 times.
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
I am a pharmacist, did an experimental phD and am now in a position where i design trainings for new products in the pharmaceutical industry. This kind of job I love very much, because I a have to research a lot, work at my own pace and am also able to do some creative work, like Powerpoint etc.
I studied pharmacy because,..
1. my favorite poet was a pharmacist
2. I always loved biology and chemistry and it seemed like a good mixture
3. I have always been interested in pharmacology through my parents (both anesthesiologists)
4. secure working places
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
I have a baby atm, so my day is ruled by him. Before that I always loved being outside, hiking, skiing. It enables me to feel my body and blow some steam at my own pace. And of course, nature is beautiful. Other than that, I write/wrote stories, poems even when I was younger. I always „see“ stories everywhere and I like to express myself via words, the rhythm of sentences and wordplay. When writing, the stories are either some light-hearted fun or something really deep symbolic metaphor-rich stuff.
What are your values, and why?
I greatly value reliability and fairness. I hold very high standards to myself and others in that aspect. Also I appreciate when people are just relaxed and care about their own problems. I don't like noisy and bossy people or fakery (even though I myself feel fake very often).
Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
In general, the relation to my parents and my sibling is fine. They are all very concerned with being seen as smart and being always right, which is very annoying to me. It’s not shameful to not know something. My dad is a clear-cut SEE and it is very hard to reason with him. He will just do as he likes anyway, so in regards to him I nod and proceed the same way. My older sibling is probably an ESI and stubborn as hell. We had a bad relationship for a very long time – it got better with distance and adulthood. Still we clash a lot, because they are super judgmental and physically unable to accept other peoples opinions or viewpoints. I don't know my moms type. But she was always cold and serious with me, never showed pride in achievements, very distant, for which I held a grudge for the longest time. But I am grown up now and don't need her love anymore. Since just accepting that that is her, our relationship improved massively.
My husbands a LSE, we have the same kind of stupid childlike humor. I admire his endless energy, his stubbornness where I fold (like nodding along to get out of a situation, he just fights for his opinion) and his sociability.
As for friends: I see most people as kind acquaintances, not friends, because of my „high standards“ I guess. I also like the feeling of distance and independence. But deep down, I would just wish for a best friend, who I can talk to all the time and share everything.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
Friends: as seen above – reliability foremost. Also I had this problem in the past, where I was the „second one“ in the relationship, the stupid side-kick so to speak. I am scared of never being taking seriously or looked down upon (I am scared that people steamroll over me and I vanish). So I generally avoid friendships. It sounds sad, but I don’t need many people to interact with and am happy in solitude.
Relationship: some fun, some laughter, shared experiences, something easy going with total honesty - I got lucky!
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
Something that happened more often then I would like to admit: Me hiding my true feelings or anger until I explode – which comes totally unexpected to the other person, who saw me as easygoing and timid even. Friendships have ended ugly because of that. I feel like people take a lot and never give, and I am unable to confront them about that in a timely manner, because I don’t really see it for the longest time – until it is too late and I got “trespassed” (note: when its not about people -printer not working-, I show my anger quickly to get the frustration out).
I also get accused of being insensitive. There were occasions where I still don't get why what I said was so horrible. It was just the truth and the other person should have known better. (Here’s one example: A friend said he hates homeopathy and wish it just wouldn't exist, but still sells it regularly in his pharmacy. To which I commented that he is part of the problem and keeping homeopathy alive, even if it is almost negligible at this level. He cried and stopped talking to me for days. I still don’t get it.)
I can make more cynical, sinister remarks, which are apparently not suitable to that occasion.
Note: This happens in more close relationships. With strangers I try to be as polite and nice and friendly as possible.
What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?
I guess I am a quick, creative thinker. I can always think of some way to improve or what to do. According to my husband, my biggest strength is my true iron will and endurance, if it is important, no matter the circumstances. That and my strict moral compass.
I think people also like me being relatively uncomplicated – I don’t meddle, I don’t judge, I don’t show really bad mood (this is, of course, my social mask).
I myself also like my endurance when I want something.
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
I can get anxious and depressed, if life is not moving fast enough, on the other hand I can get thrown of sth unexpected quite hard (especially if it is something I thought was done. Like doing my taxes, being done with it and then getting a notification that something is not right – I get super anxious in that case), I am very weak in building meaningful friendships.
As stated above, I get criticized for being insensitive and – in my siblings case – selfish. Also sometimes I overlook details and move too fast from one thing to another.
About myself I dislike my felt lack of disciple, especially around an orderly living space and being fake friendly with other people, which leaves my being overlooked, underestimated and talked over.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
I can take care of my life just fine. But nothing more. I lack the drive to aspire greatness in any field – I long for motivation to overcome my huge hesitation. Other than that I dislike the usual chores like cleaning, cooking etc – it feels like a never ending responsibility.
What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?
See above.
I also don’t like to take care of finances etc, because of the same reason: the need to always check it and catch up is annoying.
What I do like more than others is probably research. I love random lecture and learning new stuff. That and then putting it together nicely in a neat presentation or paper or graphic sounds like fun to me! I also like to “teach” about interesting things. When I talk to myself I sometimes talk like teacher to student, because nobody would care in real live - lol.
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?
I always dreamt of being unique in my little niche- being an expert in one field and reasonably educated in the rest But right now, my professional future is kind of blurry. If I were to choose again what to study, I would probably to something with languages or design. I loved learning pharmacy, but most jobs stink (like working a public pharmacy).
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?
I haven't cared about that in the longest time. My student apartments always looked very bleak. But now, thanks to my husband, I try to keep it cozy and in a reasonable color scheme – with pictures, candles etc. I would still go for the cheapest version and leave much of it to my husband.
One thing I do: If at work or having a new phone: I HAVE to individualize it – my favorite launcher, the paper here, the stapler there.. I have to make a “working station” (if digital or not) my own.
If you won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore, what would you do?
Basic answer: travel more. Also I would rent/buy a huge atelier and try ALL the hobbies.
What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
I like people with a skewed sense of humor – nothing rude or sexist, more like super child-like and dorky, which nobody else seems to find funny.
I don’t like super emotional people – those who always attract drama and are like actors on a stage. I don’t find them funny, I don’t think they’re unique, just chill down a bit please. On the other hand, people who show no emotion at all and act super cool are just as annoying. I don’t get the need to present oneself as something special. Either you are or you are not.
How do you behave around strangers?
As stated above: I am super friendly, very polite. If a bit closer I can get charming and funny, tailored to that person (but this only works with certain people, like i.e. other SEEs, because I know what will work with my dad). If someone doesn’t like me (or appears to), I stay polite and don’t try to win them over.
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
I mostly avoid it. I have to think really hard, when someone insulted me the last time. I guess, I brushed it off, acting sarcastic and nonchalant. On the inside I am dying with shame and dark feelings.
Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
I would be interested: being my own boss, managing my time freely (I hate having to work exactly 8 h/d. Why cant I go home if I did the work in 4 h?). I work in bursts, so working independently would suit me more. But one problem would be finding motivation and “urgency” to work.
I guess I would definitely have a one-woman-business. Either sth like a self-employed speaker/trainer for pharmacy or sth artistic.
As of now, I lack a good idea and have my hands full. But it is something I will hold near.
How do you dress or manage your appearance?
I can, if I want to, look really good. On a day to day basis I dress simply and the same since years. I often have to ask my husband if it is okay. There are days I know I look like a rolled through garbage, but I don’t mind.
Do you like kids? Why or why not?
I have a baby and it is super challenging. But I wanted a kid, because I love seeing their potential unfold, seeing them grow up to be just a good human. But for that, I have to survive the baby and toddler-phase. So I guess, I don’t really like-like kids (they are hard to reason with), but forming a new generation is exciting.
In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?
I always loved that sweet-spot when having started a new job: You already know how to handle everything and are not totally overwhelmed anymore, but still learn something new everyday. People start asking for your opinion, you get more done more easily.. that is awesome. And all that before it gets dull, you begin to see the faults and friction rises.
More concretely and short-term: Having worked with my hands for a few hours or some nice movement.
here the link for YT: https://youtu.be/LgAuwTpv67o
Thanks in advance for input!