Its not something I can control. Sometimes I even don't like it, it would be nicer and more enjoyable.Originally Posted by curiouslikeacat
Its not something I can control. Sometimes I even don't like it, it would be nicer and more enjoyable.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
Some random ideas that I apply to my life and came to me as insights after interacting with duals. Of course, there's a lot more to life than this, but these have given me so much power over accomplishing goals that I think it can be useful for a lot of people
0. Be careful with overdoing any of the following rules. The consequences can be disastrous for your life and the life of others. If used with intelligence, they can put your life on a higher plane of experience and power.
1. Simplicity is beautiful and makes systems work with less propensity for mistakes. Complexity can be harder to handle and interpret but also be more specialized in it's goal's accomplishment
2. Innovation creates contrasts and attracts intelligent beings. The known creates comfort whereas innovation creates tension.
3. The more tried, tested, and validated, the more predictable the results.
4. Becoming a better person consciously and giving the impression of continuous advancement on things puts you in accordance with the flow of life and ensures continuous advancement/betterment of one's life. It also makes you more attractive, and creates better opportunities for meaningful interactions with others.
5. Being present in the moment let's you free yourself from your mind. The no thought rule ensures better quality alone time, and promotes peace of mind.
6. Taking massive action ensures results.
7. The number one anti procrastination tool is to forbid yourself from doing anything else other than the task that needs to be completed. No distractions allowed. Even destructive thoughts may be thrown away.
8. To have absolute control over money getting, learn to sell. It's easier to sell things/ideas that you would buy yourself
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
I feel so alive! What seemed otherworldly has now become my own (not so) secret world. I would never have guessed duality could be this great. 1,1 years later and it is better than ever. Stronger than ever. More alive than ever. Do we have conflict? Yes, sometimes, but we don't hurt each other, we only solve a puzzle together. Does it get stressful? Sometimes, due to natural differences. But the benefits out weight the challenges so much more that I can say I've never been so happy my whole life. I've connected with my natural inclinations so much. And I feel so free and valued for being who I am. I definitely need to write a book about it. Just wow
Anyone who says duality is a myth is so clueless. If they only knew...
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
Duality is supposed to destroy all paradigms on stereotypes, how people should be and act and roles in a relationship. Each dual pair has its own world with its own rules, it will never make sense what we do to outsiders. And once you've dualized with them, you probably won't be fit for other types of relationships, or you'll have to relearn how not to be 100% authentic and free.
I guess I've learned what psychological comfort really means. I would rather call it comfort of soul.
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
Our behavior together has become completely instinctive. It's almost as we weren't thinking, we just do what we feel like doing. She said today that she can feel my energy and it's a pretty good sensation and it's intense but somewhat comfortable. I said I don't pay attention to this but I remember when I looked at her the first time we met casually, and I felt some weird energy about her and from my eyes she seemed to be somehow shining/emanating energy, it's intriguing. I kept that experience to myself for a long time before telling her.
Listen to your instincts guys!!
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
Our fights have basically ended. I've learned to rely more on my ego functions and let her deal with the rest. She's a lot more accepting of my speculations, assumptions, randomness and detachment.
I've also been able to predict some of her actions. We still have some small misunderstand that last a few seconds to minutes. So far. Maybe in the future we might have some argument like in the beginning, but I'm really thinking it's getting unlikely. We don't really need fights to enjoy each other. We take 50 min everyday to watch anime together, and we both enjoy it and discuss our different perspectives and tastes. We still talk a lot and frequently, and it's deep meaningful. I told her I could live alone with her in space and it would be fine, and it would, no doubt.
I'm enthralled by what's coming next...
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
She is like coming home and having a surprise party after walking around the city looking for a lost ID card in the middle of the street somewhere only God knows.
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
The fastest way to attract a dual (imho) is through 2nd - 3rd functions. The base is something that may not be consciously attractive, only in retrospect. Most duals have no idea they suck at their inferior function. My dual didn't know what intuition was basically. I didn't know I was so aloof to details, historical facts, and stored memories/sensations and bodily sensations.
Also the base-suggestive dynamic is a very clear source of friction, especially in the beginning. But as I said, only in retrospect your dual will appreciate and miss it. The reason activators are easy to get to know is exactly due to the more accepting nature of the "internal functions". The connection feels instantaneous.
Anyway, just being spontaneous helps filter your functions and that puts your ego functions on the spot, which the dual will naturally appreciate. But I've learned to balance my ego functions so as to better direct their responses depending on the situation.
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
The magnetic duality effect gets enhanced by distance, just like any other relationship.
I had my first day not talking so much (2 hours total, during the morning only and a little at night). We tried focusing on ourselves apart.
The result was disastrous.
The next day, we spent the entire day talking again, and we ended up only at 3h30 the next day. She was aware she had to wake up at 6.
So we agreed to never spend so much time apart like we did.
I would never have believed this kind of thing is possible (especially after 1 year since we started seeing each other, and 6 months of daily contact)
I think this is not some ordinary duality. There's something more to it. Maybe multiple dualities in multiple personality systems?
Sometimes it feels that we feed each other by just communicating. This is insane. Talking to her can be more revitalizing than sleeping.
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
Yes, mental illness.
Can you guess which one that might be? In this case, both of us would be mentally ill right?
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
I mean, from your posts, it's clear to me you're obsessed with her to the point where it can be considered pathological. I don't have enough info to confidently match your state to any condition, but to me, you sound hypomanic. That's what I meant by responding to your "more than duality". It's also possible that I'm misreading your Fe exaggerations
Hmmmm I'm not obsessed with her. I can spend time away from her if I need. It's just that when we're talking, we end up caught to each other. It doesn't happen with other people in relation to me. And it's not only me, we are both having the same experience. And I've confirmed through experiements that I'm an Ne base and she is Si base. It actually related to what Jung talks about codependency. Opposites can have codependency and that's one reason why I try to have moments away from her.
Also don't forget I'm intuitive and I am very vague, so you're probably creating your own personal exaggerated interpretation, except the things I said which are unnatural, and I understand.
If you think I'm a Fe valuer, then I'm an ILE.. because the Ne-Si dance is pretty clear to me.
Also you come off as a nice person to me, so I guess you're probably somehow "familiar" to me. Maybe a semi-dual..idk
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
What instinct are you guys?
We're both So first.
I think she is So-Sp, I think am So-Sx (I'm not a fan of instincts though).
But she is an introvert, so she actually avoids talking to strangers, and other things I've written in previous posts.
I'm the extrovert one.
She has very few very close friends. I know a lot of people, but I'm very shallow compared to her.
Last edited by BrainlessSquid; 04-03-2024 at 07:31 PM.
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
Can you elaborate on the bolded? where can i find what he says?
Fully compatible duality is 100% like that. the world literally feels as if it shrinks and becomes just me&you. it's a very enclosed & self-sustaining system and everything else is superfluous. Too bad the outside world exists.
I was joking. I think it is an amazing superpower. People who don't possess that have to worry a lot about being late.
Yes, definitely.
We also have quality time as main love language.
Last edited by BrainlessSquid; 04-07-2024 at 04:46 PM.
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
I better start looking for incompatibilities now.
New posts coming...
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
As promised, some incompatibilities.
Remember that these incompatibilities may actually be compatibilities depending on how you look at it. But well, I have to say something (even if subjectively perceived).
1. I'm scattered. I get distracted by random things and may leave her waiting. But leaving her waiting me has only happened twice, and she called my attention on that. I hope that doesn't happen again.
2. I give the vibe of being detached and reckless. She has felt a littel insecure about how much I care about her in the past. I've learned to be less egoistical and put her needs first, and show that I care.
3. Sometimes she gets critical over minor details, especially when she is in a bad mood. She gets caught up in minor things that I do or say and ends up ignoring the big picture. I tell her to see the big picture.
4. She doesn't like my fearlessness. She is all about balance and equilibrium whereas I'm constantly looking for new adventures, experiences and lessons.
5. She gets annoyed sometimes with my innatention and absent-mindedness. Sometimes she has to repeat what she said because I ignore what she says.
6. When we're watching movies/series/animes together, I almost never pay attention to the details of the story and keep thinking random things to myself. She gets annoyed because she wants me to understand what's going on in the movie.
7. She doesn't like when I make guesses and assumptions that are too far reaching and lack data. She needs data and explanations. She sometimes thinks I'm making up information or getting info from nowhere just because I can't backup properly.
8. She has a really hard time talking about her feelings and telling how she feels. I don't understand what's the difficulty in saying what you feel. Just do it. But I have to dig deeper and insist a lot before she opens up about anything that is going inside.
Note: every misunderstandings that we've had were solved with open communication, and we're both growing with each other. I guess my only concern is that she sometimes closes off, and I have to use a lot of intuition to create ways to find breaches in her so I can investigate her.
Note2: after every misunderstanding that is resolved, we feel closer than before. Every day I'm more attracted to her emotionally and mentally.
Note3: our relationship feels as fresh as in the beginning. And I'm pretty sure it will keep that way.
Note4: some of these incompatibilities may actually not be type related
Note5: we're basically inseparable. So statistically speaking, there are greater chances of friction, especially in the Ne-Si axis. But these incompatibilities represent 10% of the relationship at most. The rest is just light, peaceful, exciting, awesome, etc (what is expected of duality)
Last edited by BrainlessSquid; 04-12-2024 at 03:12 PM.
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
What's interesting about (semi)duality is that since one's role function is the dual's ignoring, the more of a people pleaser you are, the more annoying you becoming to your duals.
Also I noticed that resolved conflicts is what creates attraction between duals. The easiness is rarely a source of admiration, unless you spend a lot of time and then lose it, which creates tension.
Tension and polarization is what creates excitement and attraction between people. Being your authentic self (especially focusing on both ego functions simultaneously, something you learn by interacting with duals) creates natural tension, since it's the opposite what your dual would naturally think/act, even though complementary.
The more you take life seriously, and accept that some (if not most) people may not like you for you being you and going for what you want, the more you'll attract duals..
Maybe that's a nature's mechanism for one's life preservation, since duality is ideal for the hardships of life
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
Ikr… I find my dual’s use of Fe SUCH a turn-off, but they seem hellbent on using it - to fit into society I suppose. I guess that’s what also draws me more towards SLI than LSE initially. But then after a while, after spending enough time with Fe-polrs, I can appreciate the LSE’s stronger Fe (even though it’s still quite unpleasant) Fe-polrs’ emotional restraint makes me miss XSEs outward emotionality, especially when it’s in response to something I tell them and wish for them to react to.
She complained today that I was being too vague and abstract for too long of a period of time.
I know she is pretty concrete and likes data and facts, but I didn't expect her to be annoyed cause I was just being authentic as always.
Maybe I was a little too electric today, I don't really know.
But at some point I was talking very fast and non stop, and she got a lil dizzy, and slow. Her thought process became a little slow and she said she couldn't think properly.
I apologized for letting myself succumb and be engulfed by my abstractions, but I actually think that I may have hit her in the
precious POLR!!
Damn it!!
I know we're not conflictors for sure, but I had never thought of hitting a dual in the PoLR if that makes sense..
Last edited by BrainlessSquid; 04-20-2024 at 03:04 AM.
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
How is that hitting her in Fe PoLR?
Well, I probably was delivering too much Fe data. The thing about PoLR is that it takes longer to process data isn't it? I don't remember the conversation topic rn, but whenever I talk about my popularity, social skills, persuasion, flirting, and even some compliments, she gets very insecure. I think that fits some small Fe PoLR hit, but yesterday was just too much I think
She also has a tendency to think I'm too good for her, which is just stupid. Over time, that insecurity has faded I guess
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
At this point, after discussing with my girl, I realized my "formula" for my life philosophy is just too complex and hard to maneuver.
So I will from now on base my behavior on four main ideas (filtering from the perspective of my valued functions):
1. Focus on progress (in all areas)
2. Focus on taking action (massive as much as possible)
3. Focus on what I want (and being congruent with my desires)
4. Focus on objectiveness and simplicity (removing unnecessary complications)
She's gonna help me become great!! I love you baby
Last edited by BrainlessSquid; 04-23-2024 at 07:38 PM.
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
Ah. Makes sense.
My life started to make sense after I met her.
I started being aware of my natural inclinations, and how I can most efficiently help others.
Started being aware of my true desires in life.
And everything in my life started to fall into place.
I don't want to give the credit to duality though. She's an awesome human being. I've met other duals in the past, and even though they helped me grow, things never quite fell into place like now.
We just feel like we can achieve almost anything with very little effort. Plus, we have very similar tastes in a lot of things, which is surprising since we're so different from the outside perspective.
Her tastes are also different but in a way that she lets me see another side of the world.
I just feel so grateful for her existence.
She has now started telling me all the good things she felt about me in the beginning, when we didn't know much about each other.
I still haven't told her that I knew from day one since we met that we would be together, I'll let her tell me more about her early experiences.
We also trust each other so much, that I know she would never cheat or leave me for anyone else. I wouldn't either.
I don't want to think that I like her functions. I like her. All of her, the good and the bad. The functions are just a confirmation of something greater. That is, the person and the experience I've always looked for since young age.
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
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