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Thread: Is it common for ILIs to be 4w3s?

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    Default Is it common for ILIs to be 4w3s?

    The title says it all. I've been learning enneagram for some time now and I'm almost sure I'm a 4w3, but I think I'm ILI in socionics. I know I am definitely a gamma and I'm not ESI since I just don't use a lot of Fi or Se. Both types (ILI and 4w3) fit me pretty well, but together I feel like they just don't suit each other. I'm probably an ILI-Ni, even though someone told me I might be ILI-Te.
    Edit: I'm a 3w4.
    Edit 2: I'm a 9.
    On a side note: I've also been studying the Jungian cognitive functions for some months now and I'm sure I'm an Ni dom. So basically I'm either INFJ or INTJ (I have also considered ISFP, ISTP, ISFJ and ISTJ, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the Se/Ni axis and dominant Ni makes more sense than both Fi and Ti). So basically, I already know I have a very weird enneagram - MBTI - socionics combo, and that's probably why it was so difficult for me to type myself.

    Anyway, what do you think?
    Last edited by toosexyforausername; 12-27-2020 at 11:18 PM.

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    Sure. I wrote something just now to decide whether I'm a 4 or 3, so I'll copy it here.

    Why I might be a 3 (sp):

    - I've always wanted to have an impact on the world and not be "average" from an early age. I despised the idea of simply going to work every day and not being "important", if that makes sense. I really just wanted to leave my mark on the world and not be forgotten, no matter how.
    - I'm a high achiever or "workaholic" (or was, at least). I used to study all day in order to get straight As and I made all my teachers love me. I really wanted to be the best at school in order to achieve my goals (now during the pandemic I'm procrastinating like mad and this could be disintegration to 9).
    - I hate opening up or simply talking about my flaws and mental health because I hate feeling like everyone knows this side of me. I don't want to appear vulnerable, weak, or simply feel like I'm a loser and everyone pities me (yet I often act like I'm feeling down - because I am - and get mad whenever anyone mentions that).
    - I guess I do value status, however superficial that may sound. I like buying expensive things and going to expensive places - and I feel really good telling people where I went/what I bought.

    Why I might be a 4 (sp):

    - I've always felt like an outsider and tbh I've always wanted that. I cringe at the thought of being "average" or being compared to a group of people - and I get really mad when that happens. I have a tendency to purposefully put myself in a bad mood just so I can feel "special" because everyone around me seems to be fine.
    - I can envy literally anyone. This will sound really, really messed up, but here we go. Sometimes I envy people who have serious diseases like cancer because they're "different" and are getting special attention. I unconsciously feel that whenever I see someone who's going through something like that (but has enough resources to be treated, ha). I usually just ignore this feeling, but it's there.
    - I've also always struggled with comparing myself to people, and thus I've tried to basically become a different person very often. I'd try to change my personality (behavior) to fit what I considered ideal and felt was lacking in myself. Because of that I also struggled with anorexia for some years, since I would always compare my body to other girls' and I felt really bad because I was just "normal" and not "skinny enough".
    - My sense of self often changes, since I tend to confuse what I wish I was (an ideal self) with what I actually am. That's probably why it is so difficult for me to type myself.
    - I think it is obvious, but I want to find an "identity" for myself. That's also why I got into typology.
    - I am very goal-oriented and this might stem from a feeling that something is lacking in my life. I will do literally anything to achieve my goals, but they are not exactly related to status or money. It's more like I want to achieve things in order to finally stop feeling so empty.

    Then I settled on sp 4w3 (also, that's a countertype, so I'm not exactly your stereotypical 4).

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    Yes, I'm actually thinking I might just be a 3w4, since I clearly disintegrated to 9 but there are no signs of 2.

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    I used to think I am a 5.

    I once read a 5 with sx/so instinct is also known as the spy. Sounds cool :-)

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    ILI 3w4 is strange

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    I'm either LIE-Ni or ILI-Te. Definitely gamma though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by toosexyforausername View Post
    I'm either LIE-Ni or ILI-Te. Definitely gamma though.
    I'd vote for the former if what you wrote is a truly objective view of yourself - objectivity is quite an accomplishment for either of these two types.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Do people consider that similar e types should appear similar? As of now it seems you aim for original polished image and stuff so... altough as for me I think that I go through 2-ish phases occasionally while I'm very 7.


    Anyway I think most people warp it a lot.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    I'd vote for the former if what you wrote is a truly objective view of yourself - objectivity is quite an accomplishment for either of these two types.

    a.k.a. I/O
    Well, idk. My biggest problem is being objective, since I tend to create an image for myself (and change it very often) and confuse it with what I really am - basically I have no sense of self. But I also think I'm LIE tbh, thank you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by toosexyforausername View Post
    Well, idk. My biggest problem is being objective, since I tend to create an image for myself (and change it very often) and confuse it with what I really am - basically I have no sense of self. But I also think I'm LIE tbh, thank you.
    Type 9? (with 3 or 4 fix)

    "We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves—a strong sense of their own identity."

    I can't speak for every 4, but from a young age I've always had a very strong sense of self. Idk about type 3. But ILI-Te 3 seems very strange. LIE 3 sure, but from what I know about you I don't think you're a LIE..

    Also, how sure are you of your instinct typing?
    Cause I found this--
    "
    Sexual Nines can resemble Type Fours, as they may feel a sense of melancholy and experience and express similar themes and feelings related to relationships. Having their center of gravity in others means they have a special sensitivity to the wishes and moods of the important people in their lives and an acute awareness of the push-pull connection and disconnection dynamics in relationships. However, while Fours are self-referencing, Sexual Nines are primarily other-referencing, and they may take on the feelings of another as opposed to having more immediate awareness of their own emotional ups and downs, as Fours do."
    Last edited by chocolatte; 12-27-2020 at 10:49 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    Type 9? (with 3 or 4 fix)

    "We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves—a strong sense of their own identity."

    I can't speak for every 4, but from a young age I've always had a very strong sense of self. Idk about type 3. But ILI-Te 3 seems very strange. LIE 3 sure, but from what I know about you I don't think you're a LIE..

    Also, how sure are you of your instinct typing?
    Cause I found this--
    "
    Sexual Nines can resemble Type Fours, as they may feel a sense of melancholy and experience and express similar themes and feelings related to relationships. Having their center of gravity in others means they have a special sensitivity to the wishes and moods of the important people in their lives and an acute awareness of the push-pull connection and disconnection dynamics in relationships. However, while Fours are self-referencing, Sexual Nines are primarily other-referencing, and they may take on the feelings of another as opposed to having more immediate awareness of their own emotional ups and downs, as Fours do."
    That actually makes a lot of sense, thank you. I'm honestly not sure anymore, I think I'll stick to 9 and ILI. Thanks )

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    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    Type 9? (with 3 or 4 fix)

    "We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves—a strong sense of their own identity."

    I can't speak for every 4, but from a young age I've always had a very strong sense of self. Idk about type 3. But ILI-Te 3 seems very strange. LIE 3 sure, but from what I know about you I don't think you're a LIE..

    Also, how sure are you of your instinct typing?
    Cause I found this--
    "
    Sexual Nines can resemble Type Fours, as they may feel a sense of melancholy and experience and express similar themes and feelings related to relationships. Having their center of gravity in others means they have a special sensitivity to the wishes and moods of the important people in their lives and an acute awareness of the push-pull connection and disconnection dynamics in relationships. However, while Fours are self-referencing, Sexual Nines are primarily other-referencing, and they may take on the feelings of another as opposed to having more immediate awareness of their own emotional ups and downs, as Fours do."
    Also, do you think I'd have a 1 or 8 wing? I think it would be 1 but idk.

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    Quote Originally Posted by toosexyforausername View Post
    Also, do you think I'd have a 1 or 8 wing? I think it would be 1 but idk.
    I'd say 9w1, since you do seem to have a side that has high standards for yourself, your life, your work.

    this especially sounds really 9w1-ish to me:
    "I used to study all day in order to get straight As and I made all my teachers love me."

    Would you say you're very perfectionistic? I know an EII sp 9w1 who like you struggles with this.
    Like you, she's a hard-worker, but since the pandemic, her productivity has suffered.

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    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    I'd say 9w1, since you do seem to have a side that has high standards for yourself, your life, your work.

    this especially sounds really 9w1-ish to me:
    "I used to study all day in order to get straight As and I made all my teachers love me."

    Would you say you're very perfectionistic? I know an EII sp 9w1 who like you struggles with this. Like you, she's a hard-worker, but since the pandemic, her productivity has suffered.
    Yes, definitely. Well that makes sense, thank you!

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    @toosexyforausername When I said you're Ip>Ej I think I was picking up on 9-ness as well/instead
    I think you're a 9 right now, but hey, even though you say you're not very self-aware, you still know yourself best. sit on it for a bit and lmk what you think, I am curious to know what typings you'll decide on in the end

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    I think I'm settling on 9

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    Well, I either have a very strong 3 fix or 9 fix.

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    no 4w3 is ESI
    ~ ESTP ~ SLE ~ 7w8 ~ Sp/Sx ~ Fire ~ Aries ~ Beta ~ Gryffindor ~ Summer ~ SLUEN ~

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    Yeah it's pretty common I think. Nothing about that stands out as really being that out of the ordinary. I mean in a raw way being a 'enneagram 4 artist' is considered some emo xNFx thing but in all reality, there is a lot of logic and rationale that goes into planning enneagram 4 art stuff too.

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    I'm pretty sure I'm not ESI

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