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Thread: Se PoLR and Social Anxiety

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    ⚢ Ψ^(`∀´#)↝ object class Euclid Cybel's Avatar
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    Default Se PoLR and Social Anxiety

    The interest in topic was sparked as I've seen some xII forum members with self professed social anxiety. There's also been other connections to disorders and type with the most popular one being Ne leads being the most likely to be misdiagnosed with ADHD if not more susceptible to, because some common traits which happen to line up. Similar symptoms with different causes; which can also happen to overlap. SA is different because of it's more cyclic nature stemming mostly from mindset/treatment by society rather than some inner biological defect. So SA has the possibility to affect everyone but certain mindsets and habits (which can be changed) causes one to be more disposed to it. I propose Se PoLR is one of many traits that is indirectly disposed by being more prone to those mindsets and habits than others.

    I think it's related to Ne creative's ability to generate lots of possibilities while remaining relatively immobile, compared to Ne leads who cannot help but create chaos and splash damage others from their impulsive, energetic nature. They also have to learn how to speak up and dominate as opposed to the skill being bourne naturally. Combined with passiveness and an open mind, unless someone close is being harmed or they are being directly attacked, where there is only one objective and correct fight-or-flight decision, the multiple realities which are equally fair and real in Ne-creative's mind (where confrontation is not necessary) causes a perpetual frozen state of indecision and inaction. xII is easily overwhelmed when their cocoon of safety (Si) is not fulfilled. One cannot combat SA by passive means, it's impossible. Some xII men probably struggle with the "confident macho aggressor" aspect of masculinity more than any other type, and those kinds of people would find it easier to overlap into SA through an already negative/"reject" attitude towards society. SA is also a slow and destructive cycle where the fall is gradual, not immediate. Not that Se PoLRs have weak will, but Se leads are generally better at finding whatever the current stopping point is and going from there, instead of waiting for an ultimative "make or break" point.

    Ni demonstrative can also easily be used as a risk-avoidant function, some xII people I know use foresight to step themselves out of every possible uncomfortable/confrontational situation that can be predicted, and are rather good at it, but don't go further with it as part of some "Grand Ambition." They are typically the kind of people who want to enjoy a comfortable life with a little bit of everything, being only fanatic in the workplace when it pertains to advancing some interest of theirs for advancement/hobbyist sake only, or if the comfort (income) is threatened. Even Si leads I know who are comfort seeking and struggle with confrontation are still marginally better at "defending their territory" immediately because they don't see as much room for what-ifs. Instead, their comfort threshold has a higher bar than 2D Si, and is more easy to recover from when damaged I imagine in most cases. However, the habit of avoiding risk, while a human trait, but especially prominent if manifested in Si Hidden Agenda because they can benefit more than any other type from it, is extremely detrimental when it comes to overcoming SA. Also, constant prediction can easily be toxic when there is an internalized pessimism. xIIs are characterized by a self sustaining system of moral and logical "rules" derived from experience which are examined and reexamined constantly, exacerbating the cyclic nature of SA when a "streak" of social failures and ostracism occurs, instead of just brushing it off as an unexplainable, unlucky occurrence.

    As someone with severe anxiety, that is slowly getting better, I wonder what current perspectives of Ne creative w/ similar situations have, and any helpful tips beyond the general ones? Just curious, not necessarily looking for a therapy session.
    Last edited by Cybel; 05-09-2020 at 10:20 PM.

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    kingslayer's Avatar
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    Social anxiety is NTR

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    Ryan's Avatar
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    True.

    What kind of tips are you looking for @coda? You know the theory.

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    ⚢ Ψ^(`∀´#)↝ object class Euclid Cybel's Avatar
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    @COOM

    How much passivity in myself should I accept? Personality isn't any great excuse but there's only so much I can bend without feeling like losing it. A lot of manuals for SA advocate for a complete 180. It's like "Unless you're a go-gettery energetic spunk, you still aren't done with your journey! Everyone has a secret extrovert within them!!!" kinda deal. Also, this isn't supposed to be a therapy convention, but small anecdotes about general SA and self-discovery moments would be wonderful. From anyone.

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    Quote Originally Posted by coda View Post
    @COOM

    How much passivity in myself should I accept? Personality isn't any great excuse but there's only so much I can bend without feeling like losing it. A lot of manuals for SA advocate for a complete 180. It's like "Unless you're a go-gettery energetic spunk, you still aren't done with your journey! Everyone has a secret extrovert within them!!!" kinda deal. Also, this isn't supposed to be a therapy convention, but small anecdotes about general SA and self-discovery moments would be wonderful. From anyone.
    For general tips, take a look at: INTj The Analyst Profile by Gulenko

    I wil try to limit my observations to Se-PoLR.

    The main problem in your life is your inability to actively defend your interests, little confidence in yourself and in your ability to handle concrete affairs of life. You are characterized by indecision. You do not have an instant reaction to changing situations. Lack of operativeness, effectuality and low dynamicity can hurt you. Try to be more bold and energetic in asserting your rights if you believe in their validity. = direct implementation of Se via Ti

    Take up those forms of sport that encourage decisiveness and speed of reaction - tennis, skiing, motoring, boxing. Be sure to alternate mental work with physical work. Take up exercises that improve your ability to concentrate your attention, as well as activities that develop this quality, such as fishing. = Si > Se, develop confidence and decisiveness within yourself, active body > active mind > fast reactions > fast decisions

    You are in need of moral support in your endeavors. Try to associate with people who are determined and optimistic, who would from time to time encourage and help you to overcome your pessimism and lack of faith in yourself. = Fe seeking, spend time with high Se + high Fe people, preferably someone who does it sporadically (Se demonstrative) when you are down

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    Ryan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by coda View Post
    @COOM

    How much passivity in myself should I accept?
    It's up to you.

    I can provide examples from experience, but I don't think they will add much, because I don't know the specific situations you generally run into. I hope this makes sense.

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    f.k.a Oprah sbbds's Avatar
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    Several years ago when I was a teenager and had a bout of severe depression, I was diagnosed with General Anxiety professionally by a psychiatrist, but I think since then my diagnosis has “expired” (has to be rechecked after 4 years to keep it). I went from being rather social, brave and outgoing compared to many of my peers, to having agoraphobia and needing to be homeschooled for my final semester of high school, vomiting after being in cars or even just stepping outside at times, etc. I got over it after a few years and since then I’ve been back to my regular old self.

    As for how far you need to go to get better, I think you’ll just know. There may even be a point where your natural inclinations, while potentially healthy for you in a vacuum, actually bother you in terms of your ability to function in daily life in society. Because of that, you should probably attempt to improve to the point where you no longer have any problems that impede daily functioning at least, and probably get some friends who can help you with that. Of course it’d be good to tolerate and eventually also enjoy daily life.

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    Perfect example of pure Se. 11:10

    https://youtu.be/4ZamJraVSxo?t=670

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    Psychic/Ghost Type Nunki's Avatar
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    I have social anxiety, and for me, it's kind of the result of being the opposite of someone on the Autism spectrum. In short, I have an overly strong sense of other people's existence. I feel their eyes on me very keenly, and I'm excessively aware of what I perceive as their feelings, especially their feelings toward me. And it isn't enough for them to be okay with me; they need to love me, which, of course, rarely happens. If I were a psychological determinist, I would say it's a result of never having received much love as a child.

    My main tip would be to continually expose yourself to situations that trigger your social anxiety. It's called exposure therapy, and I've had some degree of success with it. I've also found that many of the situations I most feared weren't nearly as bad I thought they would be.

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    may correlate with introvertion. also T, S
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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