The Extended Questionnaire v3.0
What do you study or do for a living?
I am a Customer Services Advisor for the local council.
How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
I worked in retail, as a Saturday girl for local woollen shop while doing college level Business Administration (I was always quite good at computers and typing when at school and liked the idea of being helpful, an assistant of sorts). I worked a few retail jobs for more hours after leaving college and did one admin based reception job. My current role I felt was best at pairing my experience of customer service with the admin technical training I had received. I like that I can help people to find the information they need or refer their queries on to people who can. I do find working with the public very tiring though and can be stressful when some customers are very angry, upset, defiant. Busy days with customers tend to leave me mentally frazzled.
What else do you do on a daily basis?
My job is 9-5 and I am very tired after work so tend to go home and watch tv, read, browse on my phone (Pinterest and tumblr). I do have weekends off thankfully and either go out to town with my Mum and autistic brother, meet with friends in the city, or attend the theatre, shopping centres, cinemas, historical landmarks and sites. I thoroughly enjoy travelling to new cities and countries to relish the culture, new opportunities mixed with deep seated history.
What are your interests and hobbies? I have always been interested in music and drama but didnít believe they were pastimes I could do well. However I have now joined a local opera group and will be singing as a choir member in the Sister Act Musical. I enjoy watching musicals and plays as well as films (although I do find the big LCD screens at cinemas nauseating so tend to wait until DVDs come out). I love learning about history and the natural world (animals, geography). I like random trivia about places and people. Reading is another hobby of mine; I prefer fantasy fiction or factual guide books about places Iíve been to or want to visit.
Why do you do them?
To inspire my imagination, to learn more about peoples inherent nature, and ultimately myself. To give myself a joyful respite from the stresses of reality.
What are your values, and why?
Mercy - an eye for an eye leaves the world blind, plus Iím not a vengeful person at all. I think you should always be kinder than you need to because you donít know someoneís personal circumstances and headspace fully.
Loyalty/fidelity - I treasure my relationships with close family and the idea of betraying them makes me feel so repulsed, or even giving a stranger a promise and then breaking it gives me so much guilt. I imagine what it would be like to be in their shoes and imagine the vulnerable hurt of a child inside of them if I was disloyal...so would never.
Growth/learning - every day is a school day. No one knows everything but each day you should strive to be a more enlightened person than yesterday.
Respect - give everyone compassion, honour their uniqueness. Itís how Iíd like to be treated so treat others in this way.
Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
With my close family (parents and two brothers) I am very...well...close to them! I feel that I can talk to them about most things but do hold back my emotions when I am upset because I donít want to hurt them too. I tend to be a bit motherly towards my brothers despite being the middle child; I worry about them and my parents greatly even though they are capable of looking after theirselves. Iím perhaps a bit co-dependent due to my social anxiety. I still live at home and I do rely on my family as being my support network. I donít have any best friend though get on well with colleagues and old high school friends. Itís more surface level politeness and well wishing. I had one best friend who I do speak to now but weíre more distant; sheís quite rude to me on a few occasions and when I have tried sharing concerns she has ignored me until I was back to ďhappy normalĒ. Since then Iíve been wary around her.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships? People who accept me for me, who treat me with respect and understanding, who reach out to me as much as I reach out to them, who are loyal and let me spend time by myself rather than make me feel bad for needing time alone to recharge and reflect. This applies to both friends and romantic relationships. Iím not sure specifically what Iím looking for in a romantic partner. I guess someone supportive, affectionate but not too clingy or dramatic. Someone whoís patient with my shyness at intimacy both physical and mental.
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people?
Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
I tend to ďclashĒ mildly with some customers at work who approach my desk when Iím not free. I feel rushed by them and tend to put my guard up, feeling negative towards them when I know rationally I shouldnít be so annoyed. This happens often that I feel henpecked and pressured by others include colleagues at work. With my close family members we donít really conflict much, but I tend to fall out with my Mum the most, usually because sheís intruding in my space when Iím needing alone time. She bottles up her emotions as do I so sometimes we can get into heated tearful arguments but tend to make up within the hour.
What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself? I think people like that Iím patient and flexible towards them, working around their needs and expectations. Iím helpful too and un-imposing. I get called sweet and lovely a lot. My family also say they find me brave, independent and funny too, spirited and smart. I like that I am a problem solver type person; I want to solve and grow from any bumps in the road that come up. Also I like how imaginative I am and that Iím good and writing (although my spelling ability is a bit hit and miss).
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself? I am not forthcoming, I can be overly obsessive how I ďperformĒ in social and work situations and tend to harbour a lot of guilt; a perfectionist. I rarely stand up for myself or say no so I do appear like a doormat. I donít like how low my esteem is and how high my anxiety is.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own?
I can manage travels plans well (getting from A to B), budgeting finances, my mental health (though sometimes need additional support), my pursuit of interests/hobbies, intrapersonal and interpersonal skills.
In what areas of your life would you like help? Advice on if something is worth the price quoted or not (is £500 for a first class plane ticket right or am I being ripped off??), fashion (does this suit me or not?), organising my area (decluttering clutter, best way to work effectively minimising energy usage and maximising results), how to be confident in interpersonal relationships and say ďnoĒ.
What things do you dislike doing?
Fast paced exercise - I find it boring and tiring, not to mention I donít like sweating, but I am trying yoga and gentle walking as an alternative.
Having to go out to a loud party/club. Listening to gossiping and dramatic people - I avoid them. Personal grooming (painting nails, makeup, eyebrow plucking) - I enjoy having these things done to me but if I have to DIY I end up making a mess and Iím upset at the result and/or in pain.
What things do you enjoy more than others? Walking around museums/exhibits. My own company, especially travelling alone (so relaxing!!) dream journaling and psychoanalysing other peoples dreams and behaviours in daily life. Fantasy fiction. Currently I have a big obsession with Baby Yoda :0
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?
I would like to have my own place, thatís the first logical step. Then Iíd love to find a loving relationship. Iím a bit self conscious but I like to believe itís possible. And, either get fur babies, adopt, or have our own. I do want to travel more and keep expanding my knowledge of the world and myself. All I want is a happy comforting family life and spiritually moving adventures.
If you won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore, what would you do?
Travel the world and treat my parents to a lovely house of their choice - we live in a Council house and itís ok but itís not really ideal.
What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike?
I like people who have a lot of knowledge and are confident in sharing it (Hermione Grainger ďknow it allĒ types).
What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
People who do stuff for shock value and attention.
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)? I add trinkets to my room along the theme of fairies, Alice in Wonderland, Disney, mermaids. I use Disney flasks and bottles at work to add my own personal flavour. I like air fresheners (plum, vanilla, linen) since they relax me.
In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?
I felt most fulfilled when I was travelling alone in Rome earlier this year. First time solo travelling and Rome was somewhere I always wanted to go; for the history and eclectic art. I went and was entirely comfortable in my own company and relished seeing amazing world wonder sites for the first time.
How do you behave around strangers? Quiet, not self disclosing. However I am very polite and offer help. I feel more at ease around strangers if I can do something for them.
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you? I avoid the person, or become very tearful if I am backed in a corner and canít avoid the person/issue. I am stressed and dwell on the conflict for a long time. Sometimes I perceive thereís a conflict when actually the other person advises me later on that there was no conflict in their eyes.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it. Yes, when my mental health is not so great and my mind is overthinking social situations and perceive faults of me (personality and body image based). I tend to retreat into myself entirely until Iím able to feel better; I play mindful meditations and read self help articles to help change my frame of mind.
Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be? No. Iím not sure Iíd feel comfortable charging people money for a service/product. Besides, Iím not really sure what product/service Iíd offer that people would want to pay for.
How do you dress or manage your appearance? I am not confident in my appearance and donít know what styles and colours suit me. I feel physically inferior and divorced from my body but I am working on my dysmorphia issues. I tend to dress for comfort with a feminine touch (jewellery, hair clips). I think I sometimes dress for evening occasions a bit prudish (long sleeves, high neck, long skirt) and Iím shy for showing my body. But again, Iím working on adapting this habit.
What were you like as a child? How have you changed since then? I was quiet around strangers but more talkative around my close family. I could be playful, feisty and cheeky. Now I can be playful sometimes but Iím more serious overall and more subdued than feisty. But I think I still have some sort of inner grit and whimsicalness.
Do you like kids? Why or why not? Yes. Babies are adorable! Though kids of any age are so interesting, pure in heart and spirit, amusing though also more insightful than we give them credit for.
If you are doing a video you can stop here and/or choose from the rest of the questions as you like.
How do you feel about attention? Do you seek it out?
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what approach would you take, and why?
What is your biggest accomplishment?
What was (or is) your high school experience like?
What is something you regret?
Who do you admire, and why?
What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
What are your spiritual or religious beliefs and why do you hold them?
What are your political beliefs, and why? To what extent do you care about politics?
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
What is one common misconception that people have about life? Explain why it is wrong.
Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
Talk about a significant event from your life.
How do you see other people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?
How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
What is one unusual trait or ability you possess? What makes you special?
What is your sense of humor like? Do you joke around a lot?
Your friend bursts into tears. What do you do? How does it make you feel?
What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?
What is the worst thing that happened to you during the past week?
What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?
What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?
Do you like surprises?