I can relate, but with time in long relationship you end to appreciate the person for who she/he is because you see in her something you didn't see before and is completely out of the world for you.

I admit this problem tend to provok conflict into relationship at first.

There is another vision of the stuff, it's that you don't have to say nothing to the person in front of you. You don't have to be always accomodating : if there is something you don't like, you are not forced to keep it to you and can engage in an arguments. Sometime ppl do EFFECTIVELY bullshit, this is not only a perception. ESTJ often said me that, you don't have to say nothing and fight is admitted. Depend perhaps of the sexe of the INFJ/ESTJ.

In addition, I propose making peace with yourself : you often hate some stuff you have inside of yourself so in understanding you become more accepting (I say that but this is really hard especially if you have a strong moral side)