IEE Difficulties SLI and subtype (ENFp and ISTp)

[meatburger]

an ISTp married to another ISTp? thats strange.

Anyway, if she's married I don't know what's the problem. Why do you even consider her for anything more beyond mere friendship?

To me it sounds like its time for you to expand your horizons. You are also talking about something that happened 2 years ago and then you say she's already married. Just move on and meet new people. Keep her as a friend if so.

I don't think its as rare as you'd imagine I've met quite a few ISTp pairs in my time. I agree though for one to last for that amount of time is impressive. All this stuff sadly didn't happen two years ago, it's still happening up to a month ago. She gets into a car with me and says ('this feels like an affair') etc. It's difficult for me figure out how to find a safe psychological distance between us because - She stirs up feelings in me, I have to work with her, I genuinely want to have a good relationship with her so things go smoothly and we can help our client. But what tends to happen currently is i push her away and find it hard to deal with her then feel like i need to do small things to repair it. While she seems to playing an ethical game where she is acting quite unpredictably as well.

I was actually trying to figure out exactly what is going on as once i have a handle on it i can rationally deal with it properly. Eg - find the strength to maintain a distance where she doesn't flirt with me and its workable. I guess i thought once i could figure it out then i could more easily let my values guide me (e.g she is married stay away from her with a 50 ft pole).

There is another element of this as well - I actually kind of enjoy trying to figure it out. I probably sound like a mess but i'm its just turbulent emotions, i'm handling all this perfectly fine.