IEE probably make SLIs more aware of it but like you said it's pretty hard because it's your nature! Acceptance and understanding are probably the solution? SLI I was close to, often talked in a way that I find it hard to understand when he's being serious or no, so I was always just guessing, but like that I could understand more things about him. Because if I ask him directly he will just put those walls again. I noticed also sometimes when I tell him and try to explain to him the reason of the conflict, he believes me! Even though the reason might not be accurate. That's how I realized that he really is clueless about things like that.