IJs and Grudges

[MatthewZ]

I keep reading this recurrent idea that IJs hold grudges for a LONG time. (or are very capable of doing so) Someone explain this to me?

[Brilliand]

I've seen this a few times. I think that it's quite possible that IJs are the most prone to hold a decision to avoid or disfavor a particular person for a very long time; that's a form of stability, after all. Some people may have conceptions of "grudge" that are distinctly or , though, so I'd be hesitant to use that word for myself in most cases.

[Logos]

I've personally never seen an EII or LII hold to a grudge. They seem to have an easier time getting over it.

1) Dropping grudges reduces stress, 2) holding grudges is frequently counterproductive, 3) the cause of the grudge rarely matters in the long-term.

[silverchris9]

One of my best friends growing up is LSI, and he held an epically amazing grudge against one of the music teachers at my school (who was the head of all the fine arts) for the disproportionate amount of funding he gave theater as opposed to band (said friend was like THE band, in and of himself. He was president and drum leader and one of the best players in the band, and certainly one of the two most interested, etc.). The grudge began somewhere in junior year of high school, and to my knowledge still has not abated. He was similarly territorial about some teacher that had apparently been mean to his little sister (who, quite frankly, probably deserved what she got overall, even if the specific offense for which she was punished really was unfair), and would comment negatively any time she was brought up. It was actually really entertaining. The best part was that he could pretty much prove that he was right; I mean, he was right. But it was like, just give it up, geez, it's been forever. But I found the stubbornness endearing, or comical at the very worst.

[Blaze]

i have observed all IJ's holding grudges. the function of a grudge for the socion is so we don't forget important things. things that haven't worked, wrongs that that have been done, feelings that have been hurt. the IJ's are burdened with this responsibility and there's one in each quadra to keep it on track.

it's the nature of introverted rationality. they take data inside themselves and make judgments about it. then they hold it there, especially if they think it will do no good to bring it outside themselves. but there it stays. and if there are emotional overtones to the event/incident, it becomes more energetically embedded as a memory. if they think there is a good time to raise the subject, they will. and it will seem to have come from nowhere to EP types especially since we don't function that way. and thus will receive the label of a grudge.

i have told IJ types in my life about this and they readily admit to holding a grudge. then they can see the function of it and understand it as part of what we all need them to do for everybody. this enables them to de-personalize it and release it. it then eats them up much less.

[krieger]

I don't think I've ever held a grudge in my entire life. There are people I avoid for long periods of time for logical or pragmatic reasons, though.

[Mattie]

If a grudge is just holding someone accountable for what they've done over a period of time, I think all types do it in a different way. I had a conversation with my SiTe friend, and we find that we're both "Forgive but never forget" types. In a sense, you could call this a grudge; I will always remember and factor in the actions you have done until I've seen enough of a change to not have to worry about said action anymore. Sometimes the "grudge" will affect my behavior, other times, it won't. I think we attribute it to the IJ temperament because they are "classically" the most uptight, which I find wrong to assume. It's a survival instinct to hold people accountable for their actions for a certain amount of time because it protects you from harm and solidifies your bond with your kinsmen. Some types will find other types' method of grudge holding worse/better because of what they value.

[Blaze]

I don't think I've ever held a grudge in my entire life.

good for you!