Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: IJs and Grudges

  1. #1
    Executor MatthewZ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    TIM
    Ne-LII
    Posts
    800
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default IJs and Grudges

    I keep reading this recurrent idea that IJs hold grudges for a LONG time. (or are very capable of doing so) Someone explain this to me?

  2. #2
    Currently God Brilliand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Nevada
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    4,246
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I've seen this a few times. I think that it's quite possible that IJs are the most prone to hold a decision to avoid or disfavor a particular person for a very long time; that's a form of stability, after all. Some people may have conceptions of "grudge" that are distinctly or , though, so I'd be hesitant to use that word for myself in most cases.



    LII-Ne

    "Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare!"
    - Blair Houghton

    Johari

  3. #3
    Logos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    5,406
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by aixelsyd View Post
    I've personally never seen an EII or LII hold to a grudge. They seem to have an easier time getting over it.
    1) Dropping grudges reduces stress, 2) holding grudges is frequently counterproductive, 3) the cause of the grudge rarely matters in the long-term.
    "Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
    Johari Box

  4. #4
    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    3,107
    Mentioned
    14 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    One of my best friends growing up is LSI, and he held an epically amazing grudge against one of the music teachers at my school (who was the head of all the fine arts) for the disproportionate amount of funding he gave theater as opposed to band (said friend was like THE band, in and of himself. He was president and drum leader and one of the best players in the band, and certainly one of the two most interested, etc.). The grudge began somewhere in junior year of high school, and to my knowledge still has not abated. He was similarly territorial about some teacher that had apparently been mean to his little sister (who, quite frankly, probably deserved what she got overall, even if the specific offense for which she was punished really was unfair), and would comment negatively any time she was brought up. It was actually really entertaining. The best part was that he could pretty much prove that he was right; I mean, he was right. But it was like, just give it up, geez, it's been forever. But I found the stubbornness endearing, or comical at the very worst.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

  5. #5
    Blaze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    5,725
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    i have observed all IJ's holding grudges. the function of a grudge for the socion is so we don't forget important things. things that haven't worked, wrongs that that have been done, feelings that have been hurt. the IJ's are burdened with this responsibility and there's one in each quadra to keep it on track.

    it's the nature of introverted rationality. they take data inside themselves and make judgments about it. then they hold it there, especially if they think it will do no good to bring it outside themselves. but there it stays. and if there are emotional overtones to the event/incident, it becomes more energetically embedded as a memory. if they think there is a good time to raise the subject, they will. and it will seem to have come from nowhere to EP types especially since we don't function that way. and thus will receive the label of a grudge.

    i have told IJ types in my life about this and they readily admit to holding a grudge. then they can see the function of it and understand it as part of what we all need them to do for everybody. this enables them to de-personalize it and release it. it then eats them up much less.
    Last edited by Blaze; 03-25-2010 at 02:07 PM.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

  6. #6
    Ti centric krieger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    5,983
    Mentioned
    80 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I don't think I've ever held a grudge in my entire life. There are people I avoid for long periods of time for logical or pragmatic reasons, though.

  7. #7
    i'll tear down the sky Mattie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    South Florida
    TIM
    NeFi
    Posts
    1,108
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    If a grudge is just holding someone accountable for what they've done over a period of time, I think all types do it in a different way. I had a conversation with my SiTe friend, and we find that we're both "Forgive but never forget" types. In a sense, you could call this a grudge; I will always remember and factor in the actions you have done until I've seen enough of a change to not have to worry about said action anymore. Sometimes the "grudge" will affect my behavior, other times, it won't. I think we attribute it to the IJ temperament because they are "classically" the most uptight, which I find wrong to assume. It's a survival instinct to hold people accountable for their actions for a certain amount of time because it protects you from harm and solidifies your bond with your kinsmen. Some types will find other types' method of grudge holding worse/better because of what they value.

  8. #8
    Blaze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    5,725
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by labcoat View Post
    I don't think I've ever held a grudge in my entire life.
    good for you!

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •