Help me determine type

[kingslayer]

Hello everyone, I can't find any questionnaires here to answer so I'm going to post some info here and hope it can help you guys out. Basically, I think I understand Socionics well, and have shown it to people I know IRL including my co-workers some friends and girlfriend and they seem to have a decent understanding as well, but I'd like to know what the experts think. I want to hear the opinion of people who have been reading this longer than I have. Which unfortunately none of the people I mentioned before have. None of them were looking at Socionics until I showed it to them. I can provide images of myself as well for VI purposes or answer specific questions any user would like to provide to help determine my information processing.


Basically, I think I'm ESTp- SE sub. My enneagram is 8w7 6w7 4w5 Sx first acording to mulitple online and tritype tests. I also read many descriptions and think the behavior is in line with how I act.

I've taken many tests of socionics, read many threads and usually settle on ESTp. But then there come times where I doubt myself on it being my type. They seem more daring and doing than I am. There are many things I wish I could just do like clean my house or dishes instead of sitting here typing this thread, but here I am. About to go fire up a joint once I'm done then maybe start cleaning after hanging out a bit.

I do believe I am ESTp though because : I love to work out. First thing I did today was grab a coffee and hit the gym after getting out of bed. I follow a strict diet in order to maximize my fat loss while mainitng muscle at the moment and in a few months will switch to bulking. I have no issue switching my diet and what I eat in honor of my workout goal. My manager laughs at how I can eat the same thing everyday for lunch ( 2 ham wraps with lettuce no cheese or dressing) because of how committed I am to the results. I love 2 eat, love a nice big expensive meal, but I can easily suck this up in order to pursue my goal. Which is to get stronger, better looking, better shape and feel better about myself. I like to make people feel my presnece.. I can't stand bullies or phonies. I'm very good at seeing right through people and people fronting like their tough guys in order to scare/intimidate the ones who are weak drives me insane. I love nothing more than getting right near the prick and letting them feel my presence. I usually don't even have to look at them or say anything. They just see me and feel me and straighten up towards everyone.

I also find myself in control a lot without even trying to establish control. At work my manager comes to me for advice on how to manage the rest of the team lol. I just come somewhere and I immediately feel like people in the environment are submitting to my control. mind you I don't think I'm doing anything to establish it. Maybe subconsciously. But i don't really desire to control the people around me, I just want to let them know I will not be controlled or harmed by them.Though I guess I can see how unconsciously this leads me to control my surrounding without even realizing it. Since what better way to avoid being controlled than taking it yourself right? The few that don't, I don't care to make them do it and will usually just not really talk to them much anyway, however if they come to me and try to take control of me, I don't know what it is. I just don't care and don't let them do it. I don't fight for control back but they usually end up giving their own to me after trying to take it from me. Does this point to strong Se+Ti?

Reasons I don't think I'm ESTp:

I can be very engaged, but at times I become withdrawn in my head and its hard to snap out of it. And when I'm there its bad. I dont have the control and power I love to have in my environment. I feel like people can bully or hurt me because I'm not at my finest. I know if they try I will fuck them up it's not a worry to me, but I just have this fear like I'm coming off inadequate and not as powerful as I really am which will lead to them trying me which lead to me saying or doing something very ruthless to make them fuck off and remind them and everyone around us I am not to be fucked with. However I enjoy days when I just come off so engaged and confident that people are afraid to even try it. When I am in the confident mood, I can deflect any talk with a joke or a stern statement. However when I am negative and withdrawn like that, I can literally say something as bad as "get the fuck out of my face before I choke you out" which is why I withdraw. To avoid the potential legal and societal repercussions of acting such a way. I'm 25 and work full time. I can't be getting into scraps over bullshit. Though if it were legal or socially acceptable I would have no issue and would even find pleasure in punching some entitled jerk off in the face to make them wake the fuck up and smell realty. I had a rough upbringing at home and school and I think it lead to this perspective I have. This isn't often but this withdrawn state can lasts for a week at a time. usually meditating or getting really drunk and stoned snaps me out of it. It's almost like this build up of tension and negativity and I let it withdraw me so that I don't walking around slamming every asshole that pisses me off into the wall by their throat lol.

When I read descriptions on this website http://www.sociotype.com/socionics/types/SLE-ESTp/ I see a lot of myself throughout things like Fi and Ne Ni Te. However the way it describes Se lead doesn't totally sound like me. In fact I kind of sound ENFj based on the descriptions there. I don't know. I always thought I had Ti ego. However once we look at VI or subtype descriptions, I sound just like an ESTp SE sub and Vi a lot like Matt Dillon, Mussolini some what, this guy Suso who plays soccer (saw on a socionics gallery under ESTps) and according to my girlfriend like Marlon Brando. Which I don't see personally but I definetely see Suso and Matt Dillon.

The route I went to decide ESTp was.. I looked at some dichotomies, and although I couldn't determine myself on most some things I noticed for sure are:
I am consturctivist and I am negativist. Also believe I am irrational and static. Which leaves a few types. ENFp and ESTp basically. No way I'm an introvert.

But yeah.. thats all I really have for now I'd love to answer more questions to help the forum better understand how I process info.