Si endearment

[Delilah]

I suffer from it, from Si endearment. How do i get over it? Anything that works to put things in perspective?

[Chae]

Ask an IEE. First off, what are the circumstances of that endearment?

[Delilah]

Ask an IEE. First off, what are the circumstances of that endearment?

Hi, basically summed up quickly I've just noticed Si ego (and even Ne ego ) people can be very endearing and their personal acts of doing something for someone can be touching; However when I try to reciprocate I notice that it detracts from my personal motivators and I just don't like to sway because I know in the longer run it'll accumulate and i'll resent detraction such as these. I have no personal interest in such acts and can do without them, hoping this won't sound too harsh.

[LuckyOne]

Hi, basically summed up quickly I've just noticed Si ego (and even Ne ego ) people can be very endearing and their personal acts of doing something for someone can be touching; However when I try to reciprocate I notice that it detracts from my personal motivators and I just don't like to sway because I know in the longer run it'll accumulate and i'll resent detraction such as these. I have no personal interest in such acts and can do without them, hoping this won't sound too harsh.

Lmao, are you me?

[ClownsandEntropy]

Can you explain what this means? What's Si endearment? What does it mean to reciprocate? Why does it demotivate you? What are you being swayed from, swayed to, and why don't you like the swaying?

[Chae]

Hi, basically summed up quickly I've just noticed Si ego (and even Ne ego ) people can be very endearing and their personal acts of doing something for someone can be touching; However when I try to reciprocate I notice that it detracts from my personal motivators and I just don't like to sway because I know in the longer run it'll accumulate and i'll resent detraction such as these. I have no personal interest in such acts and can do without them, hoping this won't sound too harsh.

This ain't harsh, it's just you! You and your priorities. Good If you want to avoid this endearment, say that you appreciate something and move on without further chaining yourself to the Si interaction that drains your longterm vision. Reciprocity doesn't have to be a contract. Si will stray either way doing their thing, so does Ne.

[Delilah]

This ain't harsh, it's just you! You and your priorities. Good If you want to avoid this endearment, say that you appreciate something and move on without further chaining yourself to the Si interaction that drains your longterm vision. Reciprocity doesn't have to be a contract. Si will stray either way doing their thing, so does Ne.

Hi, I would actually like to maintain some form of rapport but maybe focus less on Si and that's the sort of thing I was wondering about, like how to go about it.

[Chae]

Hi, I would actually like to maintain some form of rapport but maybe focus less on Si and that's the sort of thing I was wondering about, like how to go about it.

I see - Hm... how realistic is such an undertaking, and beneficial for them?

[Delilah]

I see - Hm... how realistic is such an undertaking, and beneficial for them?

I'm wondering about that too, like for me I don't like to spend time with people one-on-one unless I really want to or have to and so often Si is like that; If i spend time one-on-one I consider it quality time and so often is not like that for a lot of people so i feel at a somewhat disadvantage the Si-way ;

[Exodus]

Hi, basically summed up quickly I've just noticed Si ego (and even Ne ego ) people can be very endearing and their personal acts of doing something for someone can be touching; However when I try to reciprocate I notice that it detracts from my personal motivators and I just don't like to sway because I know in the longer run it'll accumulate and i'll resent detraction such as these. I have no personal interest in such acts and can do without them, hoping this won't sound too harsh.

This is very vague. Your problem is that you do something nice for someone and then feel bad because it's a distraction? If so, maybe you should reconsider how you think about that.

[Delilah]

This is very vague. Your problem is that you do something nice for someone and then feel bad because it's a distraction? If so, maybe you should reconsider how you think about that.

No, this is not quite correct; I'm wondering about the ingredients that go into a particular relation and whether I can maintain it differently.

[Exodus]

No, this is not quite correct; I'm wondering about the ingredients that go into a particular relation and whether I can maintain it differently.

Uh...that's still extremely vague. If you don't clarify a bit it will be difficult to answer your questions.

[Delilah]

Uh...that's still extremely vague. If you don't clarify a bit it will be difficult to answer your questions.

Well it's just easy to do something like:
- do something together (spend time together)
- do them a favor by helping them out in something by doing a share of the work
- make them feel at ease even when the situation is awkward
-etc, all of which are Si more or less

Yet. I'd rather maintained the relation but without any of the above. Like, for me these are all too much into 'quality time' and I'd rather put these people under a different, though still friendly, umbrella. Yet Si is also a habit, so a bit difficult to switch gears.

Recommendations?

[Exodus]

Well it's just easy to do something like:
- do something together (spend time together)
- do them a favor by helping them out in something by doing a share of the work
- make them feel at ease even when the situation is awkward
-etc, all of which are Si more or less

Yet. I'd rather maintained the relation but without any of the above. Like, for me these are all too much into 'quality time' and I'd rather put these people under a different, though still friendly, umbrella. Yet Si is also a habit, so a bit difficult to switch gears.

Recommendations?

Well, if you want to just be acquaintances with someone without spending time together, then just do that. If they put pressure on you just give them some signals that you're not really interested, or that you're busy. This does seem more difficult for some people than others. They may still take it as a unfriendly gesture though, there's not a whole lot you can do about that.