Comparison: MIRROR VS SUPERVISOR Relationships (My 2 Girlfriends)

[Jason]

I dated a INFj for around 1.5 years, and now I'm dating an ISFj (for 11 months currently). The former is a mirror, and the latter is a supervisor/supervisee relationship where I'm the supervisor and I'm here to discuss the differences.

Before I start, I have to note that I think the INFj I dated wasn't as mentally mature as the ISFJ I'm dating now, hence I felt that overall the current relationship seems more satisfying, because from what I think, mirror relationships are supposed to be wayyy better than supervisory ones. Add this to the fact the this relationship is 2 years after the last one so there is growth in maturity in myself as well.

With all that said, here are my thoughts of either relationship:

In the mirror relationship, I felt the highs were a LOT higher. I found that when I was happy, I was extremely happy. However, the lows were terrible. Perhaps not as terrible compared to dating other types, but at least compared to ISFj. Most of the arguments with my INFj revolved around me making a big deal out of quote "small things"--- according to her. Usually I would get angry and then lash out, and then 2 minutes later I would think about my attitude and then maybe apologize or start talking about the conflict in a Te way. At that point, I'm completely calm and love her again, but then she shuts down and then she is the one to be angry at me for the next 4-5 hours or so. That's how the arguments usually work. Anyway, comparing now to my relationship with my ISFj.

I find that in this supervisor relationship, the highs are pretty okay. The relationship is pretty awesome. I've dated numerous times, with other people and this ISFj (well, the only ISFj I've dated) seems to be an awesome girlfriend. Awesome girlfriend meaning she would do things that are very affectionate. The relationship with my INFj was really awesome, but it was mostly in the fact that I liked her, nothing really about the "structure/physical proof/objective (Ti not working right now sorry)" of the relationship. So she didn't really do anything, but I just liked her. In this relationship with the ISFj, she does EVERYTHING the perfect girlfriend would do, and that is the number 1 reason I enjoy the relationship so much. As a result, I find that I really care about her, and I know that it is in the ISFj's nature to do things to make others happy, and I don't want her to do too much to "impress?" and just to be herself and be happy.

Those were the differences I found, I will say more if anyone replies with any questions, I am going to eat breakfast now so talk to you guys later! Also, if anyone has any advice for me in my current relationship, let me know!

-Jason

[Rebelondeck]

@Jason

ISFjs are usually very sweet personalities so this may sound somewhat cold. Barring behaviour driven by libido, normal ISFjs don't usually do things for free; they have a vision of where they need to be so will attend to every detail to achieve and or maintain this goal and it sounds like you may be the immediate goal. Once achieved however, they'll move on to the next stage of their plans and you should find out what that is - there might be a fit - stranger things have happened. Making others happy would not normally be their highest priority - like many, they do what needs to be done to achieve their version of nirvana. Moralists usually want you to conform to their vision.

a.k.a. I/O