Stackings and Relationship Compatibility

[myresearch]

i find this really quite confusing because the dominant instinct is oft described as an area that is over-emphasized in some at least borderline neurotic way.

is for instance sp blind the best to balance out sp first or is sp second? the second instinct is sometimes described as the most stable one.

These are true and I agree to this, that's why I said both first and third instincts are neurotic on my prior post. They are neurotic in different ways though, hence one is first and the other is third. You cannot balance someone's neuroticism with a balanced use of it. If something is on the extreme end of the spectrum, its dual is on the opposite extreme of the spectrum not in the middle of it. Ofcourse saying that we can say both extreme ends are unhealthy and middle is healthy, however, that doesn't change the relation of those.

it's hard to think of this in a "duality" way when the enneagram is kinda about what is "wrong" with us.

We can say every kind of filter, cognition style is there as a survival mechanism. What is wrong with us generally dictates our relationships more than anything else.

and when the model has this stress emphasis. the over-involved first instinct goes especially bad under stress. it can't help someone with the same instinct in the blind position in that case - it can't even help itself. is it a weakness or is it a strength? it depends.

Why do you think first instinct cannot help last one? Can you explain by giving an example?

is the blind spot some neglected area like the DS function that needs help, or is it simply an area that is balanced and stable because it ISN'T a fixation?

I don't know @inumbra, I get pretty fixated on my DS function as well

As I said I think both first and third instinct are neurotic in a complementing way. However, that neuroticism doesn't alone make this duality a duality. If opposite stacks get dualized in other words, if they start to communicate with each other via using their second instinct, then they can push each other on the middle ground.

I see the second instinct as a tool to merge these different worlds together, hence each partner being more open to other person's view since it is transmitted in a way that they can understand.

For example, so/sp/sx's sp is supervised by so, hence that second sp carries some so info. Its dual carries sx info, since second instinct is balanced in both, they are more open to receive it via that.

[marooned]

I don't know @inumbra, I get pretty fixated on my DS function as well

that's bc it's a neglected valued area that needs help. the blind spot is described as an area of no concern often... it's like this is something one doesn't care about and doesn't want to be around... it's ignored as an area of no importance. and i think it's bc maybe we don't need all the instincts? we all have the instinct to survive as living creatures... sp/so/sx is like putting light through a prism... none of us lack the white light (the pure instinct to survive)... all of this is how we express it and where we start getting neurotic about it...

it's different than socionics bc there isn't anything wrong with any socionics type really - it's a matter of strength and weakness. but enneagram system began as self-help of a spiritual kind because it's trying to point people to how they are lying to themselves and therefore getting lost on some false journey that is actually UNTRUE to themselves. an integrated enneagram type still has the flavor of the type, but has transcended the neuroticism of the type and so really it's like they have returned to the white light, to just being a full human no longer lost in some ego-maze. was kinda my understanding?


i really need to think about this all more... because i'm more confused about the structure than you are so everything i say and ask will reflect that...


PS i really agree with this

What is wrong with us generally dictates our relationships more than anything else.

i mean i don't know what to do with it, but it's kinda true.

Why do you think first instinct cannot help last one? Can you explain by giving an example?

well i will use the sp instinct... can someone who say deprives themselves of everything (sp first, neurotic) help someone who doesn't care about sp (sp-last). it's like i have developed anorexia, i will help you to not consume food and beverage as well??? although haha this happened with my grandma who is sp first and she controlled her husband's food, which may have saved his life... but i think he's sp first as well. lol

so actually they are two sp people who helped each other. he LOVES eating all the time. she has an eating disorder. pair them and she still has an eating disorder but he is not allowed to eat all the bad food all the time. aaaah.

[myresearch]

that's bc it's a neglected valued area that needs help. the blind spot is described as an area of no concern often... it's like this is something one doesn't care about and doesn't want to be around... it's ignored as an area of no importance. and i think it's bc maybe we don't need all the instincts? we all have the instinct to survive as living creatures... sp/so/sx is like putting light through a prism... none of us lack the white light (the pure instinct to survive)... all of this is how we express it and where we start getting neurotic about it...

It is stated in many enneagram articles you can check and find it anywhere even in the article you shared, they suggest to use it all in order to get balanced and healthy and we need it all.

This being survival mechanism makes this more important than cognition in terms of relations.

Partners who prone to flight as a survival mechanism probably cannot last, same goes for fight-fight or freeze-freeze couples.