Duality

[Beautiful sky]

Hey cute

The fact that you're coming from such a developed level of understanding for your mum does show you are a good person, so I hope you don't take any of Maritsa's unsympathetic, idiotic bullshit to heart.

Have you considered IEI? You and your relationship to your mum sounds way like mine to my mum (i'm IEI and she's LSE) - she's also called me selfish, which I think is just a differing of values and really not true in the slightest lol; IEI's can become independent and retreat into themselves for self protection. I also think we do that with LSE's because they tend to be so fucking meddling and imposing! While living with my mum I was often angry and unproductive and lazy (it was a way to defend myself against her and avoid being commanded by her) - but once I left home I became way more productive, successful and while I have a tough defense, i'm generally considered very kind and compassionate; and these values deeply motivate me (but never really grew at home because things were too painful and messed up). There's not anything wrong with you and you can't really be yourself (only you that is hurting rather than you that is positive) in a family household with your conflictor. When you get out and move away you'll begin to blossom; don't judge yourself by who you are in that relationship (it's too messy to adequately allow you to be who you are) and try to limit that relationship as much as possible; you will be SO much happier and have such a better sense of your self.

While conflictor relations are painful and damaging - I also think one of the worst things about them is how much they limit someone's character; you're not free to grow, develop and express the wholeness of yourself and all your great traits can't grow; when you get out they can . So not helping out around the house or being lazy and independent; that's not really 'you', it's you in a bad situation. And don't take too much responsibility for your mum's own cruelty (telling you you ruined her life is just a disgusting thing to say and not right no matter what the situation) and hostility; they are not your fault, you don't deserve them and half the time what she tells you isn't true. There are going to be so many people that truly get you and love you in the years to come so please don't take this relationship with your mum too much to heart!

you're right. I came down pretty hard on that person because I couldn't see it objectively

[carrina]

Great post Carrina
On a sarcastic note thanks for rehashing a thread with one of my "you're not EII" and here goes Maritsa bashing

Haha sorry though

[Myst]

Couple good friends who I somehow managed to stay in contact with over the years are beta NFs

[End]

My little brother. He's LIE or ILI-Te. We like to argue about different points and then come to conclusions together. It's basically just really hard to disagree for too long. We both have strong se so we had a few power struggles growing up which were mostly just hilarious. Also some of my uncles are gamma nt's and possibly one aunt. I have a big family. I think the difference in the interactions are just that we notice what each are talking about and respond positively more often than in the other relations.

Having a family member with an Ego function you're supposed to be weak in will strengthen it healthily if the relationship is wholesome. Thus anyone you were close to would have "leveled up" because it's your creative function and they got to "see how it's supposed to work" as it were, same for . Conversely you benefited as well as by being close to them you got to see how another function you were supposed to be weak in worked it got leveled up for you as well. In the end we do need all the functions, but it's best to just "go with the flow" and use our strongest functions the most.

As an aside, I believe my bro is my dual for instance. He was always way better with social situations than I could ever hope to be. He knew how to dress himself, even did the typical SEE thing and spent lots of resources on fashion. Real ladies man too, surprised he actually chose marriage (though I suspect the wife is IEI but hey, semi-dual is a much better end than wedding the conflictor). She holds him back in the spending department now but he still expresses an intense desire for new, fresh things. I like to think I helped him out too, my own functions helping him to develop in a positive direction instead of falling into typical SEE pitfalls. is a hell of a drug, and he always received my advice positively. And we both admit that, in the booksmarts department, I reign supreme. That's for ya, he always defers to me in matters of science and other "academic" pursuits. Which is good, because if I say I know my shit, I ain't lying .

Conversely, he taught me how to better listen to my and not be afraid of my own emotions. That it's ok to just let it out from time to time while also being aware that there's a "time and place" for that sort of thing. His focus also kept me from becoming too apathetic and that I must "seize the day" and seriously work towards my high-minded goals in the real world. You luck out hard when you got a dual in the immediate family, a pity most people don't get that.

[carrina]

@End
Well, good for you. The only noticeable positive too my relationship with my brother is that he can sometimes forsee things that i can't. But honestly i think he can be a little dense. anyway yeah, tons of se getting thrown around in my family. My behaviors are paled in comparison.

[Beautiful sky]

One trait of my protective dual that I have found that I have adopted recently is calling people good or bad . I never used to do such a thing. I lived in a gentle microworld where all my community members were kind and religious folks who love people helping and God. I have found that my bf has expanded my view globally and now I think of threats that are looming. Even when I knew there were robbers I just thought of them as people who need money and need to survive not as bad individuals with premeditated intentions to do harm onto others. Naive but idealistic

In all the times that we've watched prison stories together I've only come to feel emptiness for one killer who killed randomly but expressed complete self detachment and was apathetic to his own doing. I came to feel sad for him as a person. I felt sad in myself for his society that allowed internal feelings of connections not to be fostered in this individual. To let someone feel alone and disconnect should be a crime.