ESI/LIE Conversations

[spacious]

@Armitage truthfully, if I'd done a master's and seen how difficult and uncompromising graduate education in an elite department could be, well, I'm really not sure I would've signed up to keep going and do a PhD. So maybe it's all working out in a sense, for I certainly wouldn't have signed up for the amount of suffering and struggle I've gone through here, but I've also grown and grown up a lot from having to deal with it, definitely made me a better person; though my ethics tell me that I want to see these places change to be more welcoming - not just welcoming - to have support structures so much more readily available and not only if you happen to be enterprising enough to luck into them, through your relationships.

[Armitage]

At least that provides you with a mission. Have you joined the educational board yet, or applied for an electable position on it as a student?

[spacious]

#flashback to my LIE dad encouraging me to run for 6th grade class president lmao... yeah, my campaign didn't go so well, haha, but I didn't really want to run anyway Anyhoo

I get where you're going with it, I can be more specific about where I see myself actually having time and space and ability/interest to be able to make an influence, haha, in the way that I want to - actually so much of my focus is going into cultivating and building my own support networks right now to have an intellectual community to be able to do my research. I will need to work on improving my relationship with my advisor, but as a separate mission from keeping my work moving forward (of course they're interrelated, but I can't get off-track from our work plan). I truly don't hold an interest in taking on leadership positions at large to influence how things are, but I am having conversations with people in my community here on the local level, and already finding ways to share my experience and how that can help influence how they do things for the future for students here. I'm sure we can circle back to similar topics in the future, but that is the gist at the moment. It's partly a mission, yeah... my greater mission being to do my research, but truly part of the journey in getting there is learning how to set up the infrastructure to be ABLE to do the research. Not being given the Te/Ni but having to bring it about myself, #growth #learning haha, so yeah, I get what you mean.

Love being able to understand something better through the writing process! Thanks for the opportunities

[Armitage]

#flashback to my LIE dad encouraging me to run for 6th grade class president lmao... yeah, my campaign didn't go so well, haha, but I didn't really want to run anyway

Wonderwoman, I have to tell you something: https://9gag.com/gag/aWZjZZq

Anyway, it's good to hear that you work on improving the university in your own way. Everyone has their own strengths and skills that they can apply to make change happen.

[End]

As for ILIs and SEEs working fast, yes, they can seem to work fast.

I’m in a business where details matter and you can’t fake stuff, because you can’t fix mistakes when the mistakes are in orbit.
So I gave the job of designing a lens mount to an ILI. He finished it in 1/5 the time that I expected.
In the design review, he presented it as being done. It was a kinematic design and had tip-tilt adjustments, but no X-Y adjustments.
”Where are the X-Y adjustments?”, I asked.
”Oh, I can add those in five minutes.”

No, god couldn’t add those in five minutes.

I looked closer at the design. He had copied a mount for a 5 mm lens and had just scaled it up to a 100 mm lens. They are completely different animals.

He was fast because he was making his parts out of popsicle sticks and hot melt glue, so to speak.

He’s made designs before which no machine shop will bid on, because they can’t be made in the real, Se world.

So don’t beat yourself up for moving carefully and more slowly.

That is one shitty ILI (if he/she even was an ILI). Likely a subtype with both horrendous attachment issues and quite a bit of experience in scamming people they've got 2 standard deviations on in the IQ department. That works until you meet someone like you who matches or exceeds them in that department and/or you get thrown into the field of orbital fucking mechanics! Kessler syndrome is what happens if you get a bunch of idiots sending things into orbit without a care in the world as to how serious this business is! That's BAD! Any nation would be pretty much justified in nuking the fuck out of another nation that's going to trigger that because of their stupidity! NO!

I'd have actually sent you parts made of popsicle sticks, but not as the finished products. Instead, I'd be asking "Ok, this is some serious shit. To be sure, you want something like this right? Something that functions along these rough lines correct?"

Your answer would then inform my truly "serious" efforts on that front. You'd tell me that yes, you want a functional 100mm lens and while a 5mm lens is somehow related you cannot just copy and paste that shit because of all the other variables it affects.

I'd have actually gotten that and presented that to you regardless as a subtle shit test. I know you can't do that as that's the equivalent of trusting a machine translation of a text to outdo the work of an honest, dedicated, and skilled localizer/translator.

I guess this is because I'm a huge fan of Hard Sci-Fi and desiring to pursue my type's more artistic bent and all that entails. You can bet one of my future novels will involve Kessler syndrome and the idiot/malicious entity that inflicted it upon a most undeserving populace. That ILI might get rather pissed as he finds the description of that figure to hit a bit too close to home.

As for me, if you chastised me for insulting your intelligence I'd go with your company as a matter of principle no matter what your competitors offered (so long as you passed first BTW). You're not an idiot. You get how serious this is and you're not an intellectual inferior. You have thus earned my respect and also the full efforts of my intellect thereby. ILI's, healthy and well-adjusted ones anyway, respect those who withstand and pass our intellectual games/gambits.

You wanted a 100mm lens eh? Now, now you'll get the best one you could ever hope to field. I guarantee it on my honor .

[Fluffy Princess Unicorn]

LIE-Ni
how are you today

ESI-Se
im ok, just sitting here putting off everyone in the 16t forums
with my uhh
magnetic charm


LIE-Ni
i saw a few posts about you flexing your looks earlier

ESI-Se
I wasn't, even
but people will interpret it that way
because, you know
nobody is allowed to have issues that pertain to having some traits considered positive

LIE-Ni
i know but im sure that is how it came out


*shrug*
Fuck it. Not my fault people can't handle authenticity. What am I supposed to do, keep my mouth shut about the way harassment and objectification pisses me off because people will be dumb enough to interpret it as bragging? Fuck that. Do what most women do, and take advantage of it? Fuck that, too.

[Adam Strange]

I have a Dual ESI-Se Artist who is redecorating my house. We worked together last summer on the place and made a lot of progress, but we were far from finished when she left to start grad school.

I like her too much and tend to overshare. Or maybe this is what LIEs do with their Duals, which is complete brain downloads. I said that I might sell the place and buy a better one, if I could find a Dual who wanted kids. I added that the "better" place would have to be chosen by the new wife, because my last wife hated the house and never let me forget it, and I really didn't want a repeat of that dynamic.

The ESI said she didn't really like my house, either, and would never want to live in a place like it (she grew up in a very modern house, like Frank Lloyd Wright modern) but she thought the place could be made saleable.

Today she contacted me because she's on spring break and has some time to work. She said that she has been thinking about it, and she thought she could build better kitchen cabinets than I could buy, because she wants the house to look the way she wants it to look. Lol. Sometime in the past month, the house went from something ugly, to her possession.

I think this is an example of what I have read about ESIs making the house their own, and it's very weird to experience something that you've only read about, and then find out that the stories are exactly true.

In any case, she's getting practice and I'm getting a Gamma house. It's a win-win.

[Armitage]

I'd have actually sent you parts made of popsicle sticks, but not as the finished products. Instead, I'd be asking "Ok, this is some serious shit. To be sure, you want something like this right? Something that functions along these rough lines correct?"

Your answer would then inform my truly "serious" efforts on that front. You'd tell me that yes, you want a functional 100mm lens and while a 5mm lens is somehow related you cannot just copy and paste that shit because of all the other variables it affects.

I'd have actually gotten that and presented that to you regardless as a subtle shit test. I know you can't do that as that's the equivalent of trusting a machine translation of a text to outdo the work of an honest, dedicated, and skilled localizer/translator.

As for me, if you chastised me for insulting your intelligence I'd go with your company as a matter of principle no matter what your competitors offered (so long as you passed first BTW). You're not an idiot. You get how serious this is and you're not an intellectual inferior. You have thus earned my respect and also the full efforts of my intellect thereby. ILI's, healthy and well-adjusted ones anyway, respect those who withstand and pass our intellectual games/gambits.

You wanted a 100mm lens eh? Now, now you'll get the best one you could ever hope to field. I guarantee it on my honor .

I'm actually doing the inverse, originally my supervisor had agreed to me producing the programming version of an 100 milimeter ( mm ) lens. Yet after it turned out to require more time than expected to do so, he instructed me to switch to coding a 5 mm lens instead. Though since I already had half a lens done, I wasn't suddenly going to switch to a lesser version after all the work I already put into it. Instead, I continued constructing the 100 mm lens and afterwards changed the settings to reduce the output to 5 mm resolution.

I learned a whole lot from the project. For the future I now know how to code a 100 mm lens and therefore can reproduce one quicker for other assignments. ... However, my supervisor was less than pleased about me taking so very long for creating a mere 5 mm lens. But next year he will retire, so it won't have that much of an impact, whereas the lessons I learned through this won't retire anytime soon. Yes, I can be as stubborn as a mule regarding how I do my work, because I exhibit a perfectionist streak.

[spacious]

can someone describe differences between goals, expectations and milestones for me. (especially in how they are formed in a hierarchical mentor-mentee / advisor-advisee type of relationship, and especially in how to establish them, or talk about even potentially establishing them...) thanks

might not be sticking with the ILI as my advisor but have to lay out and describe the problems i've been experiencing, so that we can then talk about either "fixing" our relationship or me switching to a different committee chair.


hopefully in a few years i'll have different problems that i'll be venting here about

[Armitage]

You start with a goal, which is the end that you aim to work towards. It is the final destination that you desire to reach. As an example, imagine you are going on holiday to Paris and your destination is your hotel there.

You then inspect your starting point, so you can plan out a route how to go from your current position to your destination. Let's say that your starting point is the Hague.
The ride towards your destination consists of pitch stops that you make on the ride towards it. You have to refuel your car multiple times during the trip and stretch your legs on occassion too, not to mention that you have to take some breaks for food and drinks as well.

On your route are multiple smaller and larger breakthroughs. Passing the awful traffic jams that always surround Brussels is one such breakthrough, another one is reaching Luxembourg, entering France itself is also one, as is driving past Versailles signals getting close to Paris, the next breakthrough is reaching Paris itself, and the last is arriving at the destination, namely your hotel. These breakthroughs are your milestones. They are achievements on your route that notify you of your progress towards your goal.

Your expectations refer to the advantages and disadvantages you anticipate of the route that you have chosen. Traffic jams in Paris and even worse traffic jams in Brussels are two such obstacle to expect. Traffic jams in Lille, however, you might not have anticipated, because they normally aren't present there. You could have accounted for these jams, though, if you had checked your navigation system during the ride and rerouted in Luxembourg instead. A blowout tire you neither had hoped for, but you had taken a spare one with you just to be safe. You had a windfall in Luxembourg, because you came across a gas pump station with relatively cheap gasoline, you filled the entire fuel tank of your car there, instead of only filling it enough to reach an affordable gas pump in France. You also passed quickly through the toll booths of France, because you have a credit card and thus did not have to wait in the queue to change cash at the register. This shows that expectations can be a mixture of positive and negative expectations and that they can be met or not.
In regard to your thesis one such expectation would be clear instructions, feedback, and help from your supervisor, another would be ample literature regarding your topic in the ( online ) university library, and yet another expectation would be access to the software you need for conducting your interviews.


As an aside, the bicycle friend is definitely ESI. We both had a great day today visiting as friends the emperor Domitianus exhibition at the national museum of antiquities and lunching at a restaurant at the canal on this sunny day. He struggled picking a dish, even though the menu card was relatively small. He told me that he always has difficulty choosing, because he wants to ensure that he gets the best experience. He mentioned it being silly, since the second-best would also be tasty and he would be none the wiser about it not being the very best. I thought it was cute. It put a smile on my face.

Besides that we discussed his plans for his student time. He already exercises at the Gym five days a week and the remaining two days he needs for his muscles to recover. So he wants to find another activity to do with the free time that he has besides the Gym and his study. He wants to develop a new skill and want to come into contact with other people. I proposed him to start with the accelerated Dutch language course for Germans. It's a new skill and it will enable him to mingle with the natives, so to speak.

Besides that we discussed our dating struggles. He talked about how he notices himself having ended up in the friendzone of the girl he fancies during their last date, and I about, well, you know.

[Adam Strange]

can someone describe differences between goals, expectations and milestones for me. (especially in how they are formed in a hierarchical mentor-mentee / advisor-advisee type of relationship, and especially in how to establish them, or talk about even potentially establishing them...) thanks

might not be sticking with the ILI as my advisor but have to lay out and describe the problems i've been experiencing, so that we can then talk about either "fixing" our relationship or me switching to a different committee chair.


hopefully in a few years i'll have different problems that i'll be venting here about

Ideally, goals are what you set, expectations are what the other person has (and they might have those expectations of performance because you gave them to them, or because they assumed them without your input), and milestones are points along the way which indicate progress.

For example, you might have the goal of graduating. The professor has expectations that you will learn enough (from him, usually) that he can say that you are competent in the field. He might set milestones, like your passing a test to prove knowledge, your writing a paper to demonstrate flexible knowledge, or some other task which indicates that you met the requirements of the course. Not getting him coffee and donuts every day, hopefully.

Some professors use students to advance the research that they are claiming credit for, because they no longer have new ideas or brains that work or any motivation to actually do work themselves. Professors who do this typically do not graduate many students, but rather string them along for years. Hopefully, you don't have one of those, but they exist. You can sometimes identify them by talking to people who have previously taken their courses.

My advice is for you to ask the professor what he requires you to accomplish. What does he expect you to do? And how, exactly, can you prove that you've met his expectations?

I know a fair number of University professors, and most of them are very flawed individuals. Many of them got where they are by kissing ass for years and they now feel that it is their right to make you kiss their ass if you want to get anywhere. This is actually the primary reason I stopped going to school. I was meeting too many of these assholes. I still meet them, because a lot of government contracts require university collaboration. Hopefully, you can keep your interaction with your professor clean and focused on the clear requirements of the course, and won't be subject to a guy whose ego is so fucked up that, in his opinion, you will never be good enough to graduate from his illustrious course.


@wonderwoman, I have a lot of ILI friends who are great people, but most of them are not university professors. The two who are university professors are both shady weasels. One is a department head and the other is an economics professor who lives next door to me. Maybe getting tenure filters out the decent ILIs, IDK.

And to provide equal time to LIEs, I know two LIE professors who are also jerks.

[spacious]

follow-up question -
How would an ESI student ask their ILI dissertation advisor about... well, how much help the ILI is willing to give to the student? The ILI's attitude is sort of 'you can come to me IF YOU HAVE something to discuss' but as my ILI friend once commented about the ILI professor's stance, she seems to require, much more so than other faculty, that I sort of lay out for her, bring her up to speed and integrate her into the exact nature of the problem I am having, if I want her help...

which I am shit at...

you don't know what you don't know and you don't always know WHAT kind of help you need, just that you need help...

The ILI friend also commented that the ILI professor doesn't check in with me, doesn't ask questions, doesn't ask "How are you doing - like really doing, not just as a greeting" --

and sets "expectations" for me that are informed by a cloudy understanding of where I'm actually at, due to insufficient communication; then gets passive aggressively "angry" when I'm not meeting them; and I'm "afraid" to give clearer signals of where I'm actually at due to the sense that she won't be happy - ugh I don't fully understand it but it's obviously not working, and I just need to broach the particular topics in a good way, as a precondition to any way of moving forward (I might be able to bring on a co-dissertation chair, for example... but can't do that unless we both have basically a shared understanding of the nature of the problems and the need for things to change.) O_O <3 #growth O_O

[ILoveChinchillas]

can someone describe differences between goals, expectations and milestones for me. (especially in how they are formed in a hierarchical mentor-mentee / advisor-advisee type of relationship, and especially in how to establish them, or talk about even potentially establishing them...) thanks

might not be sticking with the ILI as my advisor but have to lay out and describe the problems i've been experiencing, so that we can then talk about either "fixing" our relationship or me switching to a different committee chair.


hopefully in a few years i'll have different problems that i'll be venting here about

A goal is an objective to be met.

An expectation is a strong belief that something with happen or that something is the case.

Milestones are events that mark significant points of change.

These things aren't mutually exclusive. In other words the they happen together sometimes. For example, someone can expect to meet a goal and expect for meeting the goal to mark a major milestone.

Within the scope of a mentor-advisee relationship, I'm not sure.

Additionally, goals are different from expectations in that you can have a goal but not necessarily believe you will meet it, unlike expectations which state beliefs. Conversely, you can believe in something and expect it to happen but not necessarily have it defined as a goal. Milestones are a whole different category because they're external events instead of the more psychological expectation or the psychological setting of a goal. A milestone may or may not be a goal, may or may not be an expectation, but may happen circumstantially.

[spacious]

@Rune that was extremely helpful, thanks! Definitely feel that I better understand the concept of expectations in particular (which was perhaps the cloudiest for me) in a professional context.

[ILoveChinchillas]

follow-up question -
How would an ESI student ask their ILI dissertation advisor about... well, how much help the ILI is willing to give to the student? The ILI's attitude is sort of 'you can come to me IF YOU HAVE something to discuss' but as my ILI friend once commented about the ILI professor's stance, she seems to require, much more so than other faculty, that I sort of lay out for her, bring her up to speed and integrate her into the exact nature of the problem I am having, if I want her help...

which I am shit at...

you don't know what you don't know and you don't always know WHAT kind of help you need, just that you need help...

The ILI friend also commented that the ILI professor doesn't check in with me, doesn't ask questions, doesn't ask "How are you doing - like really doing, not just as a greeting" --

and sets "expectations" for me that are informed by a cloudy understanding of where I'm actually at, due to insufficient communication; then gets passive aggressively "angry" when I'm not meeting them; and I'm "afraid" to give clearer signals of where I'm actually at due to the sense that she won't be happy - ugh I don't fully understand it but it's obviously not working, and I just need to broach the particular topics in a good way, as a precondition to any way of moving forward (I might be able to bring on a co-dissertation chair, for example... but can't do that unless we both have basically a shared understanding of the nature of the problems and the need for things to change.) O_O <3 #growth O_O

The greatest advice I can give you is to be definite. ILIs have a tendency of spacing things out in big chunks and it may help for you to really hone in on when you would need help and for how long. This, of course, will come naturally to you because you think more concretely as an ESI.

[spacious]

@Rune the trouble perhaps comes in anticipating the nature of difficulties before they've arisen and not having a language or vocabulary to be able to pinpoint and diagnose, specifically, what I'm struggling with -- it's often more amorphous, because I'm operating in a space (academia) (and using methods on which there is no universally held consensus on their principles or how to apply the methods) where how-tos of doing research are not defined concretely, which leads precisely to my need for more help. Anyway, I agree and also concluded the need to be straightforward that I believe I haven't been getting enough help and am going to continue to need more help, in getting from point a to point b, to meet these 'milestones'.

note to self that I need to take a break from thinking about all this, i can get rather obsessed

[ILoveChinchillas]

@Rune the trouble perhaps comes in anticipating the nature of difficulties before they've arisen and not having a language or vocabulary to be able to pinpoint and diagnose, specifically, what I'm struggling with -- it's often more amorphous, because I'm operating in a space (academia) (and using methods on which there is no universally held consensus on their principles or how to apply the methods) where how-tos of doing research are not defined concretely, which leads precisely to my need for more help. Anyway, I agree and also concluded the need to be straightforward that I believe I haven't been getting enough help and am going to continue to need more help, in getting from point a to point b, to meet these 'milestones'.

note to self that I need to take a break from thinking about all this, i can get rather obsessed

It's important that you get a chance to get your foot in the door. Sorting out the details can come later.

[spacious]

ILIs have a tendency of spacing things out in big chunks

True...

and it may help for you to really hone in on when you would need help and for how long. This, of course, will come naturally to you because you think more concretely as an ESI.

Ugh, it feels so unnatural to ask for help in this way cos I know/sense she expects me to be more independent and not need the help... cue weird dynamic... but ok, taking this in and it's helping.

[spacious]

It's important that you get a chance to get your foot in the door. Sorting out the details can come later.

aka ending the "silence and violence" (language from communicating through conflict book i'm reading...) cycle we've been in. Yep, we're meeting next week!!

Love having other ILIs (like my friend, and now you) advise me on how to work with another ILI

[Armitage]

Some professors use students to advance the research that they are claiming credit for, because they no longer have new ideas or brains that work or any motivation to actually do work themselves. Professors who do this typically do not graduate many students, but rather string them along for years. Hopefully, you don't have one of those, but they exist. You can sometimes identify them by talking to people who have previously taken their courses.

A friend of my LSI-Ti friend has this very problem. His master is taking double the years. He's a stellar student, so his professor invited him to do an extra challenging project. Essentially it is a PhD program, under the guise of being but a master. His fellow students have already graduated. His master thesis is so advanced that a new generation of master students are citing his work for their master thesis, even though it has yet to be published! The one bright spot is that the professor will write his name amongst the authors, so his supervisor isn't taking credit for his work, but genuinely meant to give him a challenging assignment. ... He might have overdone it, though.

I don't necessarily agree that all professors are like Adam describes them as, at least not at my faculty. I get along swimmingly with almost everyone of them. In all the years that I've been studying there are only two professors and one workgroup teacher that were total dickheads. One of the professors is a micromanaging controlfreak who regularly clashes with the exam committee and who's very own assistant dislikes her. Everything has to be done her way, even when it's totally impractical. The second professor is a very cold and arrogant man. He supervises students, but is completely indifferent to their plight. He once let me wait knowingly in front of his door for an hour, despite our appointment, and then told me that I should just drop my work on his desk and leave, because our appointment was over. Despite him looking directly into my eyes through the window!!! That afternoon I had an appointment to get one of my wisdom teeth pulled, because I suffered so much pain and he just let me wait for an hour to thereafter send me away!!!
The workgroup teacher was a biased idiot who was disliked by my class. She heavily played favourites, as some students noted how they received great grades for her assignments, regardless of if they put much or little effort into them, whereas others always received bare passes, despite excelling at similar courses from different teachers. Fortunately she left to start her own Freudian psychodynamic spiritual New Age astrological therapy clinic.

follow-up question -
How would an ESI student ask their ILI dissertation advisor about... well, how much help the ILI is willing to give to the student? The ILI's attitude is sort of 'you can come to me IF YOU HAVE something to discuss' but as my ILI friend once commented about the ILI professor's stance, she seems to require, much more so than other faculty, that I sort of lay out for her, bring her up to speed and integrate her into the exact nature of the problem I am having, if I want her help...

which I am shit at...

you don't know what you don't know and you don't always know WHAT kind of help you need, just that you need help...

The ILI friend also commented that the ILI professor doesn't check in with me, doesn't ask questions, doesn't ask "How are you doing - like really doing, not just as a greeting" --

and sets "expectations" for me that are informed by a cloudy understanding of where I'm actually at, due to insufficient communication; then gets passive aggressively "angry" when I'm not meeting them; and I'm "afraid" to give clearer signals of where I'm actually at due to the sense that she won't be happy - ugh I don't fully understand it but it's obviously not working, and I just need to broach the particular topics in a good way, as a precondition to any way of moving forward (I might be able to bring on a co-dissertation chair, for example... but can't do that unless we both have basically a shared understanding of the nature of the problems and the need for things to change.) O_O <3 #growth O_O

Sadly this is a common problem amongst PhD students that their supervisors don't adequately support them. My other two PhD friends suffer the same fate with different professors. It might help you if we set up a videocall on Discord to exchange stories. At least shared sorrow is half the sorrow, as we say in Dutch. You'll have an opportunity to vent and they might offer some insights based on their experiences and perspective.

and using methods on which there is no universally held consensus on their principles or how to apply the methods

I tend to disagree based on the information you provided me about your PhD thesis project. There exist good practices for this in statistics, it's just that sociology doesn't teach them, because many a sociology professor finds statistics hard.

[spacious]

Sadly this is a common problem amongst PhD students that their supervisors don't adequately support them. My other two PhD friends suffer the same fate with different professors. It might help you if we set up a videocall on Discord to exchange stories. At least shared sorrow is half the sorrow, as we say in Dutch. You'll have an opportunity to vent and they might offer some insights based on their experiences and perspective.

Haha, thanks for the sympathy Armitage -- that might be nice to do sometime, I'll feel more game once I've figured out which of the three or four possible additional committee members for my dissertation I've chosen from.

I tend to disagree based on the information you provided me about your PhD thesis project. There exist good practices for this in statistics, it's just that sociology doesn't teach them, because many a sociology professor finds statistics hard.

And I'm afraid I perhaps wasn't clear enough that I was referring to qualitative methods which can get clouded in philosophical discourse and then there is a mysterious shroud around true experiences of actual coding practices... and my theoretical and substantive interests are such that my research questions are best suitable to qualitative in-depth interviews. Yeah, some sociologists would prefer to never pick up a stats book again after their PhD, but that's not the case where I study, the majority of scholarship produced here uses quantitative and computational methods, and I went through the ringer in my stats training here... I do find statistics hard, but it's more that the questions you can answer with statistics aren't ones I'm nearly as interested in as ones with interviewing.

But I've found some helpful guidebooks (yep, one of the books I mentioned to you, plus a series by someone else ) lately that do cut through the jargon and are a lot more practical. Thank god... Also kind of finding my voice more lately with what I do want to study for the project.

He once let me wait knowingly in front of his door for an hour, despite our appointment, and then told me that I should just drop my work on his desk and leave, because our appointment was over.

Unbelievable

And regarding the last one you described, yeah, one of the committee members that I'm being pressured to add, plays favorites like that. >-<

As a psychologist , I wonder what you think about this application -- https://www.squibler.io/dangerous-writing-prompt-app. In my experience it doesn't actually get rid of what you type if you stop typing for 5 seconds -- it simply ends that writing session and allows you to export your writing (but with line breaks removed) into a document. I started using it recently to get myself to write and sort of cut through fears... but one's heartrate can really go up under the pressure to keep typing, so I realized I don't have to type super FAST, necessarily, while using it, and then it was a bit more relaxing. Kind of freeing to write like that...

[Armitage]

Either that, or you could flip it the other way around and discuss your options first with some impartial fellow PhD students. They might provide you a valuable new angle, @wonderwoman. In my experience such discussions always help in clearing one's mind, even if it is just by forcing one to speak one's thought in a concrete form. Oftentimes I believe my thoughts to be clear and concrete, but after discussing them I always have a far better idea of what I meant myself. It forces one to structure one's ideas and to get an overview of them, instead of them merely floating around in one's head like a disorganized mess.

Even qualitative research their exist statistical best practices, take for instance Cohen's kappa for rating the agreement between raters of interviews, or the method of (semi-)structured interviewing. I'm glad that you have found even more practical statistics books and that it has helped you clarify your research aim. I find it weird that your supervisor didn't instruct you to first formulate your research goal clearly before starting writing your proposal.

The prompts of the browser writing application are fun, but I would never commit myself to such a time pressured method of writing. When inspiration strikes I write in bursts, after which I take a moment to reread and ponder about what I have written. I would thus not enjoy writing in such a timed application, because either I would be cut short after every burst, or I would have to change my writing method, neither of which I'm going to submit to, because some piece of code pressures me to. You and your Terminators will never take me alive, Squibler-Skynet!

[spacious]

I replied privately on Messenger, @Armitage.

[spacious]

My advice is for you to ask the professor what he requires you to accomplish. What does he expect you to do? And how, exactly, can you prove that you've met his expectations?

Excellent questions. Used a very similar version of this language in my email in laying out an example of what I want to talk about next week. Thank you.

[Suonani]

1. In a PUBG game


Me: "There's footsteps... be careful there's someone around the building, he's about to..."


The LIE breaks the window with an incredible loud noise and runs off to chase the enemy while I stand there, wondering why he didn't just take the door like everyone else.

There is never a game without my LIE going through the windows. N-E-V-E-R.



2. In PUBG again, at the end of the game:


LIE: "damn he's well hidden the bastard"
Me: "mmmh indeed, wait"


*ESI starts running around*


LIE: "but... what are you doing?"
Me: "I'm just a bait, if he shoots at me, you'll know where he is"
LIE: "Oh I see, not bad!"


**WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER**



3. LIE in an overly poetic and romantic moment writes me something really beautiful about him naming me "Vigilante" with so many cute details.


Me: "Wow, I just realized that I don't know what to say about the whole thing, I don't feel like a vigilante but it's nice - I think?"



4. LIE in a problem with his work (he is a software engineer) starts to search on Google thinking that Google is a person, so hello the super long and complex line
and says: I have a bug and I don't understand where it comes from!


I say: "ok what does your bug do?


LIE explains me his bug, I type 2 words on Google and I find a lot of Stackoverflow posts


Me : "Well, here it is, I don't know if it's really what you're looking for but...".

LIE : "OMG Thank you"



5. Me to LIE: "Oooooh you talk too much!!!"


LIE: "that's not true enough and you talk a lot too, you just don't realise it".

Me : "Are you joking or...? You talk so much that I never have time to say anything!"
LIE: "Well then, I won't say anything more!"
ME : "oh I didn't say that but you don't have to add so many useless details when you explain something".


*2 minutes later*


LIE: "blah blah blah"
Me :


6. And in fact nothing to do with it: In the middle of an fight you can feel a kind of sexual tension. He is the only person it happened with. But when we have a really bad fight, that's all I can think about, mixed with a lot of anger. It's a very strange and inappropriate thing for the situation! And it's the same on his side, we told each other after an fight. On the other hand, fights are very rare. Most of the time, conflicts are absent.

[Armitage]

What's a PUBGame, though?

[Suonani]

What's a PUBGame, though?

Player Unknown Battleground. It's a Battle Royale game.

[Tarnished]

1. In a PUBG game


Me: "There's footsteps... be careful there's someone around the building, he's about to..."


The LIE breaks the window with an incredible loud noise and runs off to chase the enemy while I stand there, wondering why he didn't just take the door like everyone else.

There is never a game without my LIE going through the windows. N-E-V-E-R.



2. In PUBG again, at the end of the game:


LIE: "damn he's well hidden the bastard"
Me: "mmmh indeed, wait"


*ESI starts running around*


LIE: "but... what are you doing?"
Me: "I'm just a bait, if he shoots at me, you'll know where he is"
LIE: "Oh I see, not bad!"

Seem fun. Ni types may have dramatic over the top Se fantasy, so they act more reckless in game, maybe.

[Armitage]

Yes, we do, deep down we desire being brave, adventurous heroes who save the day, instead of intellectual managers and programmers.

[Tarnished]

ESI - H (male) and LIE - C (female)

[Adam Strange]

The ESI-Fi date and I left the restaurant late, after dark. We crossed the cobblestone road to my little white Honda and passed a new, black Ferrari parked next to me. For some reason, I thought it was a Porsche.

“My brother bought one of those,” she said.

“A Porsche?” I replied.

”No, a Frury.” She pronounced it just like that. “Fruri.”

”You can buy a used Ferrari for a few tens of thousands of dollars”, I said.

”He bought it new.”

”I’ve thought about buying a Porsche,” I said. “They are beautiful cars. The only thing stopping me is that Porsche owners all seem to be complete assholes.”

”That fits, because my brother is an asshole.”

She paused, then continued, “I was at a dealership and I told him I wanted to shop for a McLaren.”

“You mean, a Ferrari?”

”No, a McLaren.” This, she pronounced correctly.
”You know. Just to sit in it. Tell the salesman that I’m interested in buying it. Have my picture taken with me in the car. Then all my friends will think I’m rich.”

Then she started laughing.


This woman was very aware of money. I, on the other hand, am very aware of my need to be loved.
I can’t believe how true the descriptions of ESI-LIE Duality are.

[Adam Strange]

She seems annoyingly fake and materialistic. lol

Materialistic, yes. She’s one of the most materialistic women I’ve ever met. But fake? No. She was anything but fake.

I think ESIs are typically Sp/Sx, so they seek Sp security (she told me that the thing she fears most is being left without any help), while being superb at managing one-on-one relationships through Sx.

The ESI-Se interior decorator whom I hired to redo my house is also Sp/Sx. She is a black hole for money and I find her incredibly appealing on a personal level.

I’m Sx/So, so I’m in need of a one-on-one Sx connection while being very competent at So public relations.

I tend to ignore Sp concerns. What this relationship might translate to in the real world might be that she spends freely to get nice things and I ignore the level of spending, because she’s manipulating the Sx interpersonal feed I’m getting. This would normally be an absolute disaster if the pair couldn’t absolutely influence each other’s actions.
(“Stop spending. We’re out of money this month, and there won’t be more coming in for six weeks.”
”Ok.”)

The horrible thing is that these two instinctual types seem to be made for each other.

[Armitage]

ESI - H (male) and LIE - C (female)

If the guy is ESI and she's a LIE, then the guy and girl in this manga are probably too: https://manhuascan.com/read-ai-boyfriend-chapter-1.html
What do you think @Tarnished, @Nicozeyo, and @End?

Materialistic, yes. She’s one of the most materialistic women I’ve ever met. But fake? No. She was anything but fake.

I think ESIs are typically Sp/Sx, so they seek Sp security (she told me that the thing she fears most is being left without any help), while being superb at managing one-on-one relationships through Sx.

The ESI-Se interior decorator whom I hired to redo my house is also Sp/Sx. She is a black hole for money and I find her incredibly appealing on a personal level.

I’m Sx/So, so I’m in need of a one-on-one Sx connection while being very competent at So public relations.

I tend to ignore Sp concerns. What this relationship might translate to in the real world might be that she spends freely to get nice things and I ignore the level of spending, because she’s manipulating the Sx interpersonal feed I’m getting. This would normally be an absolute disaster if the pair couldn’t absolutely influence each other’s actions.
(“Stop spending. We’re out of money this month, and there won’t be more coming in for six weeks.”
”Ok.”)

The horrible thing is that these two instinctual types seem to be made for each other.

How do you know that she's ESI-Fi, instead of ESI-Se, if she's so focused on materialism? By the way, what would your reaction be if she starts asking you to lend her money?

[Adam Strange]

If the guy is ESI and she's a LIE, then the guy and girl in this manga are probably too: https://manhuascan.com/read-ai-boyfriend-chapter-1.html
What do you think @Tarnished and @End?





How do you know that she's ESI-Fi, instead of ESI-Se, if she's so focused on materialism? By the way, what would your reaction be if she starts asking you to lend her money?

@Armitage, the ESI-Se decorator almost never talks about her feelings or relationships, but instead is entirely focused on getting work done “right now”. She made a list of tasks for me and taped it to my dining room wall.

This ESI-Fi almost ONLY talked about how she felt about all of the people in her life. There was some little talk of why she wanted to buy things (because she likes to look a pretty things), but otherwise, it was non-stop “all people feelings, all the time”.

The ESI-Fi didn’t ask me for money, although that date cost me about $600. I have this feeling that she needs or wants money, but that we weren’t deep enough into the chess game for her to ask for it, if that was even her intent.

I’m not inclined to give her money. I’d be disappointed if she asked, because that would turn the relationship into something much worse.

She did say that she argued all the time about money with her previous BFs. I told her that I, in turn, never argued with my (SLI) ex-wife about money. The SLI and I argued about intent and direction, but never about spending money, proper. Of course, we both made a lot of it, but we never once objected to the way that the other person was spending it.

[Armitage]

She did say that she argued all the time about money with her previous BFs. I told her that I, in turn, never argued with my (SLI) ex-wife about money. The SLI and I argued about intent and direction, but never about spending money, proper. Of course, we both made a lot of it, but we never once objected to the way that the other person was spending it.

How exactly do these things differ?

[Adam Strange]

How exactly do these things differ?

Hmm. Maybe they don't differ, but they FEEL different.

I got the impression that the ESI said her previous BFs spent money on things that they wanted but she didn't, and that caused a lot of simmering resentment.*

With my SLI ex, we'd just spend freely as needed on household items, but we'd talk over any spending decision that wasn't routine like the mortgage or the food budget. She would often nix my proposed spending on the house or on some parts of my business, so I guess the difference is the stage at which the spending was discussed. Before, or after the act of spending.

The SLI and I always discussed spending before it happened, while the ESI seemed to only find out about the spending by her BF after it happened and she'd had no say in it.

*I got the clear impression that she was operating as if her BFs were a partner, like an LIE would be, but instead, they were operating as competitors for their resources. She was definitely not in a Duality.

[Tarnished]

If the guy is ESI and she's a LIE, then the guy and girl in this manga are probably too: https://manhuascan.com/read-ai-boyfriend-chapter-1.html
What do you think @Tarnished and @End?

Lol reading it so hilarious.
Yeah I think they could be LIE-ESI, especially the girl seem pretty LIE for me.

[Nicozeyo]

@Armitage

Hi,

I don't know because I don't like typing with videos even more so with fictional characters but, for what it is worth. Indeed, I think the characters in the two videos could be LIE/ESI.

About the manga you showed, we don't see many things but the trope seems to be about "being human / being a machine" it could really be something like a rational dual dyad. So, yes, they could be LIE/ESI.

[Armitage]

*I got the clear impression that she was operating as if her BFs were a partner, like an LIE would be, but instead, they were operating as competitors for their resources. She was definitely not in a Duality.

Sharing resources, because your partner shares the same goal as you, so helping him is the same as helping yourself and vice versa?

About the manga you showed, we don't see many things but the trope seems to be about "being human / being a machine" it could really be something like a rational dual dyad. So, yes, they could be LIE/ESI.

The fun part of this manga is, though, that the ESI is the robot, not the LIE. He is very self-conscious of it.

[Adam Strange]

Sharing resources, because your partner shares the same goal as you, so helping him is the same as helping yourself and vice versa?

it.

Yes, @Armitage, exactly.

Members of your Quadra all share the same values, and so present minimal dissonance towards each other.

Duals provide the best level of support to each other without competing in each other’s areas of expertise.

Finally, there are lots of Duals out there, but not all of them share your goals. The only way that two people can walk side-by-side for any length of time is if they are going in the same direction and share the same goals.

At that point, helping them get to their goals helps you get to yours.