Another Attachment Style Test

[Olimpia]

Here you go.

Attachment styles allude to the specific way in which an individual identifies with, and relates to, other individuals. A person's attachment style was most often formed at the absolute beginning of their life, most likely during their first two years of life. Once settled, the individual's attachment style tends to stay with them throughout the course of life and to manifest today in the way they relate to others in close relations (including in the way that the person rears their own children). Hence, understanding your own particular attachment style can be immensely useful as a way of gaining insight into how you originally felt about yourself and others during your childhood, and how you may be predisposed to live out these patterns again as an adult.

[Attis]

attachstyle.PNG

On Edge-Avoidant (Mistrusting): Individuals in this quadrant share the Dismissive type's misgivings about others, but have not developed the armor of coolness and self-sufficiency that allows Dismissive types to live without attachment and bonding. Consequently, Mistrustful types recognize in themselves a need for intimacy and close relations with others, but as soon as they start to get close to others, they also find that they have mixed feelings about the whole ordeal and start fantasizing about breaking it off because they "want their space again." In short, they are neither at ease in solitude nor when close to others. Because of their simultaneous need for and mistrust of intimacy, Mistrusting types have had to spend their lives learning how to skillfully handle other people; continually maneuvering so as to keep others close and available, yet at the same time out of control and powerless to harm the Mistrusting type. Individuals of this type are often high-achieving and competent adults, but on the inside, they tend to suffer from periodic bouts of low self-esteem and be plagued by a sense of hollowness at their core. Mistrusting individuals are frequently very good at finding legitimate fault with others and sniffing out their weaknesses as a way of protecting themselves against being disappointed by others, but on the downside, this hypervigilance also tends to lead to skepticism and overly paranoid tendencies.

A very accurate description of me, other than being "high-achieving".

[ashlesha]

Lol @ them knowing the attachment styles of presidents.



I don't relate to the description. I'm excessively genuine, if anything. I don't employ a persona with people im close to. There might be something to the ambivalent aspect internally, but I don't think it manifests so dramatically in my behavior.

 

On Edge-Engaging (Ambivalent): On Edge-Engaging individuals tend to be very good at attracting the attention and admiration of others around them. Generally, they employ one of two strategies to do so:
The Helpmate: Either these people become very hardworking and effective with regards to their real-life dealings and practical matters, so that they will naturally draw the attention and esteem of others who could use their help.
The Playmate: Or - more frequently - these individuals attract the attention of others by being extremely charming, colorful, or entertaining. Many have also developed considerable psychological facility for getting under the skin of others.
In both cases, On Edge-Engaging individuals adopt these strategies because they have a root feeling of ambivalence about others: They feel that others wouldn't notice them and give them their fair due without them being a good Helpmate or Playmate. But at the same time, they also detest others for making them put on this act just to get basic love and validation. In other words, Ambivalent personalities tend to alternate between being sensitive to others and neglecting them; between seeking intense intimacy and driving artificial barriers to closeness in between themselves and others. Some individuals of this type feel a deep-seated sense of injustice towards others for having been made to develop their Helpmate/Playmate persona, instead of just being loved as they are. Because they carry with them this representation of others as being unfair, some On Edge-Engaging individuals may find it easy to excuse themselves from their obligations, or for cheating and/or fudging the truth. In general, Ambivalent individuals tend to be quite good at psychological manipulation and getting others to do what they want, and they often have a high degree of sensitivity and accuracy to other people's emotional states. When in their good graces, being close to an Ambivalent personality may feel like heaven, but once they have decided that you are treating them unfairly, being close to them may easily feel like hell.

[Olimpia]

As the graph shows, I am very close to the Relaxed quadrant.
In most situations I am rather relaxed, but in romance I am "on edge".

[Olimpia]

Attachment 10490

Relaxed-Engaging (Secure): Relaxed-Engaging individuals tend to have good self-esteem and typically find it easy to share their feelings and opinions with others. They spend less time fretting and second-guessing themselves than individuals in the other three quadrants, and they generally find it easy to ask others for help or support when in need. They are usually straightforward and trusting in their relations with others, and their usual state is one of being open, approachable, and relaxed. For this reason, they typically have fewer interpersonal defenses than others. They naturally seek to connect with others while remaining realistic about the transformative power of intimate relationships: Relaxed-Engaging individuals don't expect to be swept off their feet, or to have their entire world turned upside-down by the arrival of some romantic savior or the like - they're already "comfortable in their own skin," so to speak. Instead, they seek to cultivate simple virtues, such as mutual trust and a sense of shared intimacy with others. They generally don't play games, but seek to establish uncomplicated and mutually beneficial relationships.

Oh, that's nice to see.
Have you always been secure or did your relationship with your partner make you more secure over time?

[Olimpia]

@Adam Strange

[Chae]

Dad is helping me with my issues recently, our relationship is testing as secure so it has a good influence. I used to get dismissive-avoidant (that's my relationship w/ mom) in another test but there's a positive change here, it's quite unexpected. I know the systems are different but either way:



Come here Foodie you're the counterpart @Food

[DirectorAbbie]

30.6% Relaxed, 30.6% Engaging

[Singu]

Your attachment style is:

• 30.6% On Edge, 25.0% Avoidant

[Muddy]

• 44.4% Relaxed, 5.6% Engaging

[lynn]

attachment-graph.png

• 13.9% On Edge, 30.6% Engaging

[uncivilized]

Your attachment style is:

30.6% Relaxed, 19.4% Avoidant

It put me in the blue quadrant close to Obama.

[Hope]

Attachment 10534

Attachment 10535

It's a good test. The description is right on spot.

[The Reality Denialist]

This is easily my weakest point. No test would provide accurate results. I see results in constant fluctuation.

[Olimpia]

This is easily my weakest point. No test would provide accurate results. I see results in constant fluctuation.

You could still show the result you got today.

[The Reality Denialist]

here it comes

• 13.9% Relaxed, 5.6% Engaging

That was extremely hard.

[Olimpia]

here it comes

• 13.9% Relaxed, 5.6% Engaging

That was extremely hard.

Thanks for sharing and making the effort.

[Jake]

Attachment Style.JPG

[Adam Strange]

My results were essentially the same as those I got when taking an earlier Attachment Style test on this forum.

58% Relaxed (low anxiety), 33% Engaging (low avoidance).

Adam's Attachment Style Test Results-01.jpg

I took the test a second time, this time while thinking about my past partners, and got
72% Relaxed, 42% Engaging.

Evidently, I'm more secure when with a partner.

I'm getting low on image upload space on the forum, so I'll just copy the text description of the Secure style:

Relaxed-Engaging (Secure): Relaxed-Engaging individuals tend to have good self-esteem and typically find it easy to share their feelings and opinions with others. They spend less time fretting and second-guessing themselves than individuals in the other three quadrants, and they generally find it easy to ask others for help or support when in need. They are usually straightforward and trusting in their relations with others, and their usual state is one of being open, approachable, and relaxed.For this reason, they typically have fewer interpersonal defenses than others. They naturally seek to connect with others while remaining realistic about the transformative power of intimate relationships: Relaxed-Engaging individuals don't expect to be swept off their feet, or to have their entire world turned upside-down by the arrival of some romantic savior or the like - they're already "comfortable in their own skin," so to speak. Instead, they seek to cultivate simple virtues, such as mutual trust and a sense of shared intimacy with others. They generally don't play games, but seek to establish uncomplicated and mutually beneficial relationships.

Here are the other styles, just for the record:

On Edge-Engaging (Ambivalent): On Edge-Engaging individuals tend to be very good at attracting the attention and admirationof others around them. Generally, they employ one of two strategies to do so:

• The Helpmate: Either these people become very hardworking and effective with regards to their real-life dealings and practical matters,so that they will naturally draw the attention and esteem of others who could use their help.
• The Playmate: Or - more frequently - these individuals attract the attention of others by being extremely charming, colorful, or entertaining.Many have also developed considerable psychological facility for getting under the skin of others.

In both cases, On Edge-Engaging individuals adopt these strategies because they have a root feeling of ambivalence about others:They feel that others wouldn't notice them and give them their fair due without them being a good Helpmate or Playmate. But at the same time, they also detest others for making them put on this act just to get basic love and validation. In other words, Ambivalent personalities tend to alternate between being sensitive to others and neglecting them; between seeking intense intimacy and driving artificial barriers to closeness in between themselves and others. Some individuals of this type feel a deep-seated sense of injustice towards others for having been made to develop their Helpmate/Playmate persona, instead of just being loved as they are.Because they carry with them this representation of others as being unfair, some On Edge-Engaging individuals may find it easy to excuse themselves from their obligations, or for cheating and/or fudging the truth. In general, Ambivalent individuals tend to be quite good at psychological manipulation and getting others to do what they want, and they often have a high degree of sensitivity and accuracy to other people's emotional states. When in their good graces, being close to an Ambivalent personality may feel like heaven, but once they have decided that you are treating them unfairly, being close to them may easily feel like hell.


Relaxed-Avoidant (Dismissive): Individuals in this quadrant often take a dim view of others, preferring to keep their distance and guard against invasions of their autonomy and privacy. Relaxed-Avoidant personalities tend to have a strong belief that others are too different from them for truly intimate relations to be worthwhile. They may have a spouse and family, and even be solidly anchored in a stable network of friends and acquaintances, but at the end of the day, they tend to avoid entering into relations where emotional interdependence and intimacy are required. Unlike individuals who fall in the On Edge-Avoidant quadrant, Dismissive personalities tend to be quite content keeping their deepest feelings and views to themselves, and they often have a deeply-held belief that the opinions of others are mildly irrelevant or even second-rate.Consequently, many Dismissive types are often quite good at dissimulating, that is, appearing to share their innermost thoughts, while in reality, they are simply appeasing others without ever letting them come close.
Independent and proud of it, these individuals can typically achieve remarkable feats of social manipulation and self-restraint, but on the downside, they may have trouble kicking bad habits (such as drinking or smoking) which they can enjoy in solitude and use to comfort themselves, independently of the company of others. They can frequently be unmotivated or lazy with regard to the duties that others expect of them, but on the other hand, they are often very original (since they are not hindered by concerns about having to conform to the expectations of the group). Finally, they also tend to be intelligent risk-takers, since they are at heart relaxed and cool under fire.

On Edge-Avoidant (Mistrusting): Individuals in this quadrant share the Dismissive type's misgivings about others,but have not developed the armor of coolness and self-sufficiency that allows Dismissive types to live without attachment and bonding. Consequently, Mistrustful types recognize in themselves a need for intimacy and close relations with others, but as soon as they start to get close to others, they also find that they have mixed feelings about the whole ordeal and start fantasizing about breaking it off because they "want their space again." In short, they are neither at ease in solitude nor when close to others. Because of their simultaneous need for and mistrust of intimacy, Mistrusting types have had to spend their lives learning how to skillfully handle other people; continually maneuvering so as to keep others close and available,yet at the same time out of control and powerless to harm the Mistrusting type. Individuals of this type are often high-achieving and competent adults, but on the inside, they tend to suffer from periodic bouts of low self-esteem and be plagued by a sense of hollowness at their core. Mistrusting individuals are frequently very good at finding legitimate fault with others and sniffing out their weaknesses as a way of protecting themselves against being disappointed by others, but on the downside,this hyper vigilance also tends to lead to skepticism and overly paranoid tendencies.

[huiheiwufhawriuhg]

Just as I thought:

• 36.1% Relaxed, 22.2% Avoidant

[Number 9 large]

I got this. Seems to resonate with me pretty well

[Olimpia]

I got this. Seems to resonate with me pretty well

Thanks for taking it.

When I read your post about your dating/crushing behaviour, I was pretty much reminded of myself tbh. That's why I suggested you could be an Avoidant.
And apparently, I wasn't too off about that.

[Myst]

Here you go.

38.9% Relaxed, 11.1% Avoidant

On the graph very close to midline between Avoidant and Engaging. Clearly in Relaxed quadrant.

The description of Relaxed-Avoidant is weird and a lot of it doesn't really fit me. Too dismissive for how I really am, because I'm more helpful and attentive by default and even a bit engaging with people I feel comfortable around. The stuff about dissimulating or lack of motivation for duties for others is really not me. Finally, I can take risks for some things but that's not the trait that I'd first list about myself. What does fit is easy ability to be in solitude comfortably and ability to independently lead life/make decisions/work for my goals and achieve them. But I wouldn't say I'd want to be fully cut off from others, no, I'm more social than that. All in all, weirdly enough, I don't like seeing myself as this dismissive or distant or cold. Idk why.

Relaxed-Engaging doesn't fit me any better, less fitting actually, because I do have some high interpersonal defenses by default beyond a certain baseline of more superficial openness. I'm not engaging others too much, not seeking out connection strongly by default, I'm more like passively accepting with that superficial openness readily connecting but only to a degree. I do genuinely enjoy that connecting but it does not remove the guard I have beyond that. Then over time I might get a bit engaging myself too with certain people as I said above. And then, cultivating mutual trust and intimacy without playing games is a good thing, for sure. Just not something I can easily or quickly establish (but I definitely play no games). Takes very long.

I do always get Dismissive in these kinds of tests. But again it's missing some things about how I am. I think the whole attachment theory is too simplistic anyway, I see attachment style as something that can be further broken down into components where the attachment style currently utilized in a specific relationship would also depend on several factors.


Something else - I'd not want to be in a relationship with someone who has a strongly Relaxed-Avoidant/Dismissive style Just absolutely not! All the others can be acceptable, though the other Avoidant one is also not very good and I actually react as Dismissive to too much clinginess of the wrong kind from the On Edge-Engaging/Ambivalent one. Relaxed-Engaging/Secure is best of course, lol

[Tonatiuh]

Your attachment style is:


16.7% Relaxed, 27.8% Avoidant

Attachment Style Test 16.7% Relaxed, 27.8% Avoidant.jpg

[squark]

A little to the right of and slightly higher than the Reagan dot - in other words between secure and ambivalent, but falling in the secure quadrant. This fits "Ambivalent personalities tend to alternate between being sensitive to others and neglecting them; between seeking intense intimacy and driving artificial barriers to closeness in between themselves and others" while I'm also comfortable in my own skin and have good self-esteem like the secure section.