Delta Lounge

[anndelise]

Aww, poor Bunter.

But on the bright side, he's got something to brag to the bitches about. I wonder what story he will tell. Maybe something about a fight with a cat?

[Beautiful sky]

I got a new book today

http://www.amazon.com/Psychological-...ypes+carl+jung

and I give a lecture on MBTI to a private college for the very wealthy and well to do on Wednesday

The dean is going to present me as an "expert in typology"

[Beautiful sky]

My mother's family are all farmers and I miss the farms

I miss having a garden and gardening with dad. I miss him directing me about planting things and watering them. I go over to my dual cousin's home to just do a little bit of that but still want one in my back yard


Here's LSE Ne HA....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vypDy...H3T-LWP302nB4Q

[Eliza Thomason]

Hi Maritsa! Its been forever. Who is that with you in your picture??

P.S. This from your quote is so true: "Fe is more trust-creating through words. Fi is more through actions. Fi doesn't try to change someone's perceptions of them as much in-the-moment, but rather thinks more in terms of the overall relationship and their own personal feelings. -William"

[Beautiful sky]

Hi Maritsa!

Its been forever. Who is that with you in your picture??

my nephew and I

P.S. This from your quote is so true: "Fe is more trust-creating through words. Fi is more through actions. Fi doesn't try to change someone's perceptions of them as much in-the-moment, but rather thinks more in terms of the overall relationship and their own personal feelings. -William"

That was a good analysis he made.

[Eliza Thomason]

Maritsa I am going to be single (as in not married) for longer. Dearheart's diocese says "a few more months" till the annulment goes through. (I had hoped it woudl be sooner, but this will make it the "average 18 months time" that it normally takes)... So looking at a spring vows I guess. I felt bad at first but my son is a senior this year and I want to be there for whatever I am needed for. And we are putting off the sale of his house so he can do more on it and list it in spring which is the best time to list...

[Beautiful sky]

Maritsa I am going to be single (as in not married) for longer. Dearheart's diocese says "a few more months" till the annulment goes through. (I had hoped it woudl be sooner, but this will make it the "average 18 months time" that it normally takes)... So looking at a spring vows I guess. I felt bad at first but my son is a senior this year and I want to be there for whatever I am needed for. And we are putting off the sale of his house so he can do more on it and list it in spring which is the best time to list...

So you're not going to marry your SLI bf?

[Scapegrace]

Divorce is a sin. You're going to hell. This marriage is adultery.

[Eliza Thomason]

So you're not going to marry your SLI bf?

Oh, yes, nothing has changed there, we always just want to be together. But we cannot marry til we are annulled, and I don't feel right even calling him a fiance until the annulment goes through (it could always come back "no", but we have good reason to expect it not to). Yes, SLI and I talk every day.

Before I got to his place in August, it had been 180 days since I had seen him. We worked extremely hard on his house. Then he came back with me and stayed three weeks here and took the train home. It was going to be just a week or two visit, as he has outdoor work to compete on his house, but I was sick about parting. He was too. But I realized, there will be no need for long separations after this. Only one month or two at most. We are in the home stretch.

I am going to go there end of the month to help him with landscaping. For a week or two. That is if I can make up my mind how long to leave my 17 year old with the house to himself (I have only ever left him for one night alone, and that was about 2x!).

When we visit each other we always have other family in the house... and since we want to do what we believe God calls us to do, we are "waiting" till we are married to be more intimate.... and its has not been easy. But now it seems like we are in the home stretch with that and its somewhat easier.

[Eliza Thomason]

Divorce is a sin. You're going to hell. This marriage is adultery.

LOL, I know some people think that and you are just giving it back to me.

Dearheart and I are Catholic and we believe in Sacramental marraige, and as Catholics that is the only kind of marraige we can have. God has put that Sacrament in the Church's hands, therefore the Church has the authority to investigate and decide if a past marriage was valid at the time it was entered into or not. She gets her authority to administer this Sacrament from Jesus, who give this authority to Peter, telling him that what he (and his successors) decide on earth is agreed upon in Heaven. So when the Church tells us that we are now free to marry, we can be fully confident that God says so, too.

God hates divorce - I am sure you have heard it said, and its true. God hates anything that brings us pain and wounds our hearts. He is merciful and He is a loving Father. He knows we are fallible and we live in a fallible world.

Annulment is not the same as divorce. Annulment is when the Church decides after extensive investigation that a marriage was invalidly entered into, for reasons such as lack of form, or lack of consent (as in a "shotgun wedding"), or not having the emotional/mental capability or the will to keep the vows at the time they were made.

In case you didn't know. That's what its about.

[Cuddly McFluffles]

So I seriously jacked up my shoulder, and my pectoral muscle is complaining as well. I found out about five weeks ago that I was injured, after finishing a round of corticosteroids for an infection and being in more pain than I should have been. I aggravated the hell out of my shoulder last Wednesday, and it's been bugging me since. The doctor thinks I let the arm (this is the one affected by my condition) get too weak, to where very little will injure me now; he wants me to retrain it to handle weight, and he's sending me to physical therapy to fix my partially-frozen shoulder. Hopefully it won't be expensive. My insurance is decent, but still.

I also saw the dermatologist, who put me back on steroids to address my condition (though they ought to help my shoulder, too). The steroids make my shoulder bearable, so long as I don't use it too much (I also apply heat, which works wonders). Without them, it hurts like a bitch after too much movement. It's a new and frustrating experience for me; I used to avoid painkillers on principle, and then I took some to help with the constant inflammation pre-injury. I'm currently living on them, even happy to be on them, and that bugs me. I know it's not fair to be so hard on myself about this when I am in pain and need these to function normally for a time. They're not narcotics or opiates, so I shouldn't have any addiction problems. I'll be happy when this injury is taken care of and I can resume living and working without this kind of pain and inconvenience.

[Park]

I hope you recover soon, Ryene. Take it easy and don't worry about the painkillers, they are harmless.

[Eliza Thomason]

So sorry about your shoulder, Ryene.

Tomorrow is my birthday.

I am also going downtown to see my EII friend (and sis-in-law by previous marraige) get her citizenship.

And I won't see my SLI. He's in CT...

P.S. @Minde, I really liked your story, too.

[Eliza Thomason]

Here is a good start.

I have given my type a lot of thought throughout my time in the community. Navel gazing is one of my long-standing hobbies.

Wow, Ryene, I just read that link you provided here. Wow. I am so impressed. That was so insightful and so honest. It made it incredibly admirably interesting.

My Mom is ESI, and reading your self-description made me feel like I had a small window into how my Mom must have thought, for much of her life, anyway. I could see her in it. I saw her actions/reactions, and never understood why. What you wrote helped fill it in for me a bit. SHe is a E6 too I think. She was the "difficult"parent and as I began to individuate in my teen years I really did not like some things about her, and it seems to me those things were the very same "worse things" you wrote about yourself there. Only they seem understandable when you write them, explaining the underlying motive.

She has Alzheimers now. And I think thats because she had postpartum depression after one of my brothers and me, and those days they heavy-duty shock treatment for that. I found this out only a few years ago when I asked her sister to tell me about their parents, since all I get from Mom is the same handful of brief stories/incidents for any clue, and I don't feel I have a sense of them. (Her Dad died, hit by a car, when I was 3. I kind of remember him. Her Mom died she had a minor operation when she was in college... doctor mistake. Anyway, my aunt answered, She said, "Your Mom probably forgot. Because of the shock treatments." That's how I found out.

So now I think she was never fully herself. Now I read that as Supervisor when your Supervisee is in charge of you its hard to have patience/respect for them which makes me feel better because I look back with regret at the impatience I had with her those years. They say you marry your difficult parent in order to resolve issues, and my Mom was more like my ESE-ex than my SLI Dad for sure. In fact, ESE was an E6, too.

Oh, and you said your Mom was your difficult parent so watch out who you consider marrying, or else get those issues with her resolved first! (I suggest, from what you wrote, that you learn to conquer her anger. Come up with some new responses so her anger doesn't control you. People here will help you with some suggested answers for typical scenarios. If you learn that her anger can't control you, it will help you not choose to marry someone who does that. IMHO!)

Well I really just wanted to say I was impressed with what you wrote.

[Cuddly McFluffles]

I hope you recover soon, Ryene. Take it easy and don't worry about the painkillers, they are harmless.

So sorry about your shoulder, Ryene.

Thanks. I'm going to get another ID in a little bit so I can be ready for Monday.

Painkillers are hard on my gut, which already had issues, so these aren't that great for me anyway. I wasn't raised to avoid painkillers, exactly, but my stepfather has always preferred a natural (or religious) solution over conventional meds whenever possible. I was taught that painkillers only really block the pain signals rather than addressing the actual problem. And in retrospect, maybe that's not always a bad thing so long as one also addresses the problem itself and uses the painkillers as a temporary measure. I've come to rely on painkillers more because NSAIDs actually do something for my condition (which is auto-immune/inflammatory in nature). They're still not ideal, though, and my stomach hasn't been normal since my three weeks of prednisone in August; consuming coffee still kills my appetite.

Wow, Ryene, I just read that link you provided here. Wow. I am so impressed. That was so insightful and so honest. It made it incredibly admirably interesting.

My Mom is ESI, and reading your self-description made me feel like I had a small window into how my Mom must have thought, for much of her life, anyway. I could see her in it. I saw her actions/reactions, and never understood why. What you wrote helped fill it in for me a bit. SHe is a E6 too I think. She was the "difficult"parent and as I began to individuate in my teen years I really did not like some things about her, and it seems to me those things were the very same "worse things" you wrote about yourself there. Only they seem understandable when you write them, explaining the underlying motive.

She has Alzheimers now. And I think thats because she had postpartum depression after one of my brothers and me, and those days they heavy-duty shock treatment for that. I found this out only a few years ago when I asked her sister to tell me about their parents, since all I get from Mom is the same handful of brief stories/incidents for any clue, and I don't feel I have a sense of them. (Her Dad died, hit by a car, when I was 3. I kind of remember him. Her Mom died she had a minor operation when she was in college... doctor mistake. Anyway, my aunt answered, She said, "Your Mom probably forgot. Because of the shock treatments." That's how I found out.

So now I think she was never fully herself. Now I read that as Supervisor when your Supervisee is in charge of you its hard to have patience/respect for them which makes me feel better because I look back with regret at the impatience I had with her those years. They say you marry your difficult parent in order to resolve issues, and my Mom was more like my ESE-ex than my SLI Dad for sure. In fact, ESE was an E6, too.

I can't speak for your mother, not knowing her, but I agree that understanding the possible motivations behind someone's aggravating or seemingly irrational actions can help.

Oh, and you said your Mom was your difficult parent so watch out who you consider marrying, or else get those issues with her resolved first! (I suggest, from what you wrote, that you learn to conquer her anger. Come up with some new responses so her anger doesn't control you. People here will help you with some suggested answers for typical scenarios. If you learn that her anger can't control you, it will help you not choose to marry someone who does that. IMHO!)

Well I really just wanted to say I was impressed with what you wrote.

I don't have a difficult parent; I have difficult parents. I've gone on at length about my stepfather and the issues I have with him. My conflict and resentment of my mother are certainly on a different level, but I have had problems with both over the years.

To be honest, I have no plans to marry any time soon. I grew up in a religious household where divorce was a horrible thing that should not happen pretty much ever; while, yes, divorce is damaging and should not be entered lightly, watching my mother suffer through Dad's bullshit (mental and emotional) for so many years has turned me off to any kind of relationship where I don't have an out. But I'm more concerned about emulating my mother in a relationship than I am marrying someone like her; marrying someone like my stepfather is what scares the hell out of me.

[Beautiful sky]

Sorry about all this stuff you're going through Ryene.

[Cuddly McFluffles]

As it turns out, I must change my diet. Basically, because I have an inflammatory/autoimmune disease, anything that causes me to flare also aggravates my injury. I have to say goodbye to greasy foods. *cries* I also have to cut back on processed meats as much as possible, and I may have to look for lactose-free milk. Eliminating gluten might not be a bad experiment, but I'm not quite that committed right now. I also have to cut back on coffee; I must find out whether this is the coffee itself or just the caffeine.

On the upside, maybe - maybe - I'm not reacting to potatoes but merely the method of cooking them (fries, chips, etc). I really hope that's the case, because I like them way too much to give them up permanently.

Sorry about all this stuff you're going through Ryene.

Thanks. I've felt much better the last couple of days, though I cannot say exactly why. Could be time, could be diet.

[Park]

On the upside, maybe - maybe - I'm not reacting to potatoes but merely the method of cooking them (fries, chips, etc). I really hope that's the case, because I like them way too much to give them up permanently.

Peel, slice, and cook them in the oven with salt and water.

[Beautiful sky]

Three cousins, one 5K race, 8am in the grape vines.

For some reason, my cousin registered me in the second tier race which is..the first tier are the faster runners, they go a few minutes before the second herd. When I stood in the second tier with them I gave her a "really?" look. She was apologetic and forgot about my running skills. When the race started, I put all of my learned herd running skills into play. I waited for the heavy crowd to move forward, finding my way to the fringes, I ran around it and heavily almost a 400 meter sprint/run made my way past the crowd. I slowed down my running pace but kept it at 800 meters. When I got to the middle of the first tier runners, I slowed my pace down again to 1mile. I interchanged my running between 800 meter long stride runs and shorter stride 1mile.

When you have a strong heart, your recovery time is fast. I can't sustain the long stride running of the 800meters too long because it is very intense. I can fall back on the mile pace and recover and then take off again. So there are different methods of running. I'm not a long distance runner. I've always had a thing for the 800 meters and I've set some records in it.

My two cousins, ESE and LSE, just find their heart breathing equilibrium and go at that pace. I've never ever been able to be so well in touch with my sense of self that well. I have really two speeds when it comes to running, most of the time, fast and really fast or maybe just crash and stop then recover and take off again. Besides, there are different methods of running, there's not one style fits all. Overall, I made up for in short speeds what some would in steady pace.

When I'm in great shape, I can run a 800 in 2. something minutes
a mile in 5. ish
and a three in three years LOL

No, I would say average 7 because I can't sustain energy for a long time. I just don't have that kind of reserves. I'm too tiny. need nourishment need orange juice
Yeah, it was a good race. I may have pictures later.

This is one of my long time friends, she's also one of the fastest runners (100 meters) in Jr and HS except she never showed up for the races, and didn't show up for State finals lol We ran together for many lovely years.

[Beautiful sky]

I've learned a lot of things from the strongest most loving person in my life right now. My boyfriend is an amazing person. I think of all the things he's been through and I wonder how he can do it. He imparted one thing to me on the weekend when we cuddled "you get your ass up and do it." For a man who's led a very challenging life, Spina bifida doesn't stop this vulnerable, strong and loving man. We worry about so many small nonsense and we just don't appreciate the big picture sometimes and we can't grasp fully what we are able to accomplish. He's working on his 3rd masters and he's flying to Sochi this winter to cover the olympic games. Go Baby!!!

[anndelise]

So, the past few months have been problematic between my daughter and I, even her community transition teachers are having a tough time with her. I guess at the age of almost 18yo she is finally entering the know-it-all-do-nothing teen years. She's been lying, and trying to garnish the sympathy's of others, as a means to avoid looking for a job and cleaning her part of the apt. *sigh*

So I've started leaving her at the apt and spending 3-day weekends at the house. That has been quite relaxing though I've been busy trying to clean it up. I cannot stress how nice it is to have some peace and quiet and not someone else's junk all up in my face.

Meanwhile she gets to have the apt to herself, which she enjoys. And her roommate-to-be will often spend that time at the apartment with her. They've been working out ways to get along, so it's still a great learning experience for her.

And did I mention that I get to RELAX??

@felafel: Masters in what?

[Pa3s]

I just began studying again in my master's program and had a rather "turbulent" start. I got sick, didn't have any internet because the phone line in my apartment was broken (I'm using a mobile web modem right now) and the amount of new tasks we got within the first few days was overwhelming, some with very little time for preparation. All that in combination with new people (who are very nice, though), new places and new situations was quite stressful and the fact that I couldn't access the internet made me feel very isolated, nervous and worried about all kinds of stuff (future, life decisions, ect).

However, I got my act together a few days ago and now I feel very good, calm and motivated. That's maybe because I have experienced an unusual "low" compared to my balanced, regular mood. As I said, the people are very nice, we even have an exchange student from the US among us. We're preparing a short presentation together and he seems to be a pretty cool guy. Our english lecturer is a native speaker as well, but from the UK. She manages to make the lectures very fun and entertaining. All in all, I'm very glad that my mood improved so quickly and judging from what I know right now, the tasks we got don't seem to be as difficult as I have first expected them to be.

[Minde]

As it turns out, I must change my diet. [...]

One of my gluten-intolerant friends just had some allergy testing done, where they take a blood sample, and found out she's also allergic to dairy, eggs, many meats, and several other things. And there have been times in my life (including right now, actually) where I've needed to carefully watch what I eat. So I can empathize a bit... it's challenging to say the least.

How are things going?



I just got back last Saturday from my month in Europe. It was an amazing trip, and of course I want to go back. Next year the conference that was my excuse to go is going to be in Amsterdam. So I'll save up real hard again and maybe do a northern Europe tour...

There are so many stories and thoughts from that experience; I'm sure I'll relay some of them here at some point(s). Photos, too.

 

In addition to the adjustment and processing of being back home, my family's old dog, Toby, is dying. We suspect he has cancer that has metastasized. He's at the point where it's hard to tell if it's time to put him down or not, which is hard. I hate seeing creatures in pain, especially ones I love.

We've got this weekend to get through, maybe, then if we make it through that I'm going to work from home next week so I can care for him as long as it seems viable. All the other family members have jobs that keep them from being able to watch over him.

 

[anndelise]

@anndelise

comparative media arts. i started out with the wrong foot though, so i should really make up for a very negative beginning.

How did you start out with the wrong foot? (If too personal, dont answer.)
What do you hope to do with a master's in comparative media arts? (I googled what it was, sounds interesting. ...well, except I'd suck at anything with "comparative" in its classes. )

[anndelise]

@Minde,
That's a hard decision. It's not really a matter of if, but when.
Will you have it done at his home?

When I had to put mine down, I had the vet come to the house. This way Grendel wouldn't be stressed out on his last day, nor during the process. I was also able to lay down next to him like we had done for most of his life, with his head on my arm. It was a peaceful process. I'm so glad we did it that way.

I wish you and your family the best.
And Toby reduced pain.

[Pa3s]

Is this a continuation of the prior program, or did you change directions?

Nope, it's still city planning, even though it doesn't have the same focus on architecture as my bachelor's program did. My new course has a rather "universal" approach, covering everything but not putting too much emphasis on one aspect. But that was intentional, I'd like to focus more on cities or regions as a whole and less on single projects within a city. But that depends on my job, which is impossible to predict at this point.

[Minde]

@Minde,
That's a hard decision. It's not really a matter of if, but when.
Will you have it done at his home?

When I had to put mine down, I had the vet come to the house. This way Grendel wouldn't be stressed out on his last day, nor during the process. I was also able to lay down next to him like we had done for most of his life, with his head on my arm. It was a peaceful process. I'm so glad we did it that way.

I wish you and your family the best.
And Toby reduced pain.

Thank you. We took him to the vet on Saturday to put him to sleep. He had completely stopped eating and drinking and was in obvious, shivering pain. It was heart-wrenching because he got so excited to get in the car and go on a trip. He loves the vet's office. It was good in a sense, though, because his last experiences were filled with happiness and excitement, even if he was just limping along.




What with this and before that the whole leaving Europe thing, I've been kind of an emotional basket case, on the inside anyway. Expressing itself in occasional hidden tears and round-about cries for attention.

At least I have my own bed again. For some reason(s), I didn't sleep well at all during my travels. I'm thinking it partly had to do with the fact I have a huge pile of blankets at home. I like it warm, plus I might have gotten used to the weight of them. Anyway, I'm finally almost sleeping through the night again.

[anndelise]

Thank you. We took him to the vet on Saturday to put him to sleep. He had completely stopped eating and drinking and was in obvious, shivering pain. It was heart-wrenching because he got so excited to get in the car and go on a trip. He loves the vet's office. It was good in a sense, though, because his last experiences were filled with happiness and excitement, even if he was just limping along.

So glad to hear that his last experiences were positive ones.

What with this and before that the whole leaving Europe thing, I've been kind of an emotional basket case, on the inside anyway. Expressing itself in occasional hidden tears and round-about cries for attention.

At least I have my own bed again. For some reason(s), I didn't sleep well at all during my travels. I'm thinking it partly had to do with the fact I have a huge pile of blankets at home. I like it warm, plus I might have gotten used to the weight of them. Anyway, I'm finally almost sleeping through the night again.

I can imagine. I hope you get the sleep and release you need.

[Minde]

So glad to hear that his last experiences were positive ones.

I can imagine. I hope you get the sleep and release you need.

You're always so kind and encouraging to me, Ann. Thank you.

[applejacks]

@Minde

*big big big big hugs*

[Kim]

Thank you. We took him to the vet on Saturday to put him to sleep. He had completely stopped eating and drinking and was in obvious, shivering pain. It was heart-wrenching because he got so excited to get in the car and go on a trip. He loves the vet's office. It was good in a sense, though, because his last experiences were filled with happiness and excitement, even if he was just limping along.

I agree with ann, it is good to hear that he was happy and excited on his last trip. And with loving people around him.

Take care!

[Cuddly McFluffles]

On another forum, someone is discussing ESE or ESFJ mothers, specifically why people have such negative view of their mothers and why they type them ESE. Giving a non-exhaustive recount of why my mother and I have issues has led me to realize how completely batshit she was when I was younger. For some reason, knowing this makes me feel better.

[wacey]

Uhg, I have strep throat and can barely swallow and talk. Must be part of gods plan that he wants me to rest while on vacation. I just feel so cruddy. Hopefully its bacterial so the antibiotics work. Sorry, just random thoughts, carry on.

[anndelise]

Uhg, I have strep throat and can barely swallow and talk. Must be part of gods plan that he wants me to rest while on vacation. I just feel so cruddy. Hopefully its bacterial so the antibiotics work. Sorry, just random thoughts, carry on.

Hope you feel better soon.

[wacey]

Thanks.

[Minde]

Some people are frustrating. Some are hurtful. Some are confusing. Some are silly. Some are intriguing. And some make me feel better. I think I'm thankful for all of them, though I would prefer less frustration and hurt.


While I usually keep a lot to myself, there are times when I wish I could vent. Sometimes I do here, where it's less likely to hurt anyone. Like today - I had a conversation with a friend who initially acted like he was putting me first for a change ("I don't want to talk about myself; tell me about you") but it turned out I wasn't a priority at all. As soon as a request of mine went against his mood he got mad, called me bad at reading people, and left. (My request was to focus on me while conversing instead of having a divided attention.)

There's much more history, but moments like these are... discouraging. And frustrating. Because I feel like I'm being forced to choose between keeping a friend and having standards for how I'm treated. The thing is, from my perspective I usually adapt myself to the feelings and needs of the people I'm conversing with. I find it very warming and endearing when people reciprocate in like manner, particularly unprompted. I don't need that all the time, but if I never get it I start wondering how much value I really have to someone.



My ISTp friend is a dear. I expressed a vague, oblique yelp of frustration on FB and she responded with "Call me and get all your vents out!" I hate the phone so we're likely going on a hike instead, where I'll likely not actually say much but I feel better already.

[anndelise]

Minde, if a person is willing to dump the friendship because of such a simple and reasonable request, then it wasn't much of a friendship to begin with. I'm assuming the history you speak of is with this particular person, right? As such, I won't offer possible reasons for why he might have gotten huffy. You've probably already thought it over.

Enjoy your hike, with someone who I'm guessing does treat you the way you like to be treated.
(Even if maybe the wrong gender.)

[GuavaDrunk]

(...)The thing is, from my perspective I usually adapt myself to the feelings and needs of the people I'm conversing with. I find it very warming and endearing when people reciprocate in like manner, particularly unprompted. I don't need that all the time, but if I never get it I start wondering how much value I really have to someone.(...)

I feel for that situation, whatever it's worth.

[Minde]

Minde, if a person is willing to dump the friendship because of such a simple and reasonable request, then it wasn't much of a friendship to begin with. I'm assuming the history you speak of is with this particular person, right? As such, I won't offer possible reasons for why he might have gotten huffy. You've probably already thought it over.

Enjoy your hike, with someone who I'm guessing does treat you the way you like to be treated.
(Even if maybe the wrong gender.)

To be fair, they weren't dumping the entire friendship over it, just... pulling away in a dramatic fashion, I guess. And, yes, I've analyzed things to death I think. I might poll you at some point to get insight because there are times I'm just at a loss. While usually I can repair things and get along with most people, sometimes in this case I wonder if there's a point where there's too much bad history.

I'm looking forward to the hike tomorrow morning. I've gone once before to this place with ISTp. It's a sort of off-lead dog park that goes on and on, with hills and trees and fields and even a river. Bunter and I will get to run freely around with abandon.

I feel for that situation, whatever it's worth.

It's worth something to me. Thank you.




In related news, I just got told (by somebody completely different) I have a "willful, independent spirit." And if I'm submissive I'll be loved, if I don't I'll get angry responses.

I'm on a roll.

[GuavaDrunk]

In related news, I just got told (by somebody completely different) I have a "willful, independent spirit." And if I'm submissive I'll be loved, if I don't I'll get angry responses.

Charming company. :/ I don't know you much bar from some of your posts on this forum, but you come across as very considerate and it would certainly be unfair for people to insist you become an outright doormat.

This may be my own biases speaking but in my experience "too willful and independent" in this context is, if taken as rebuke and leading to acting more 'submissive', just asking myself to be angry at me, which is harder to bear than other people's discomfort especially as it's also essentially a betrayal of myself, to be more amenable to others' wishes when under coercion.