Are you sexually attracted to your dual, or is the attraction different?
What is your type and what are the types you are attracted to? What are the types you attract?
Sexual attraction vs Duality
Are you sexually attracted to your dual, or is the attraction different?
What is your type and what are the types you are attracted to? What are the types you attract?
Bound upon me, rush upon me, I will overcome you by enduring your onset: whatever strikes against that which is firm and unconquerable merely injures itself by its own violence. Wherefore, seek some soft and yielding object to pierce with your darts.
-Seneca
No, I am sexually attracted to IEE usually, seldom beta NF. Duality and physical attraction don’t coincide.
Yeah it's two different things.
People can be sexually attracted to others for all kinds of reasons.
I think I experience the most sexual/romantic attraction to people who I feel a special kinship with..usually I have similar taste to them in art..when you read articles about attraction they often say that ‘similarity’ is often a key factor in attraction. I’ve been on dates with duals who were semi-interesting to me and yeah sometimes I do sort of fancy them a bit. It’s like your heart beats steadily around them or something, there’s a sense of a motor whirring gently throughout your body.. My to die for person I’ve fancied the most was an SEI. It didn’t happen but I think it would have been blissful if it did..while it lasted….I had a similar type of crush on an EIE before..maybe something about the fe. Oh and sometimes I think that the intense attraction to the SEI is to do with my parent’s types- SLI and ESE. SEI seems like a mix of both :S or maybe everyone just fancies SEIs..
I was thinking of making another thread asking about which individual pairs stand out as working better than others, within the sets of ITR..or in which scenarios different pairs work best.
Generally, I think I can develop attraction towards most of the types..I like a certain level of good-looking (maybe less fussy if you start off as friends and they grow on you?), and I think you can often tell if you’ll get on with someone just from seeing their face? So even if you don’t have loads in common you might feel a little pull towards them?
I think I almost have friend crushes my my IEE friends..my friendships with them feel like faux relationships, like we’re acting out a love story sometimes. I love it. Keeps me on my toes.
p.s I don’t know any well enough in real life..but I have to say there is some sort of understated alpha-maleness about LIIs. I think I used to be all like ew prince Charles…but maybe I wasn’t? I definitely noticed him
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 02-10-2022 at 09:29 PM.
Most ESEs I've known have been quite fat, unfortunately. :/
I don't know what I'm attracted to. With my own quadra (gamma) I find them to be more trusting friend like. SEE tend to be bright and reassuring.
Beta quadra tend to be gender specific in their attractiveness. So if they identify with their birth gender they can be very traditionally attractive, and if they identify with alternative gender they'd express the hell out of that gender too.
Delta quadra has a more understated and sophisticated attractiveness which I used to like. But in the long run they will somewhat suppress my life energy, so I would drift away from them.
Alpha quadra gives me more of an asexual vibe for some reason? They are usually cute in a harmless way.
Yeah. Sad.Originally Posted by EIE
And how fat is that? Like obese?
Sexual attraction is primarily based on a possibility to born children - on physical and health traits, on pheromones.
Personal traits have secondary influence. As personal sympathy makes simpler to establish any relations. And because children are mainly born and raised in pairs, what is especially important in pregnant and 1st years time. So personal attraction predispose to higher and more stable sexual attraction, while personal disliking supresses sexual interest.
Traits for friendship abbility and for more friendly relations, higher emotional state relating to this (love) - support sexual interest and arise pleasure from sexual interactions.
As good IR is significant factor for personal sympathy and friendship relations. So they should predispose to higher sexual attraction, especially in long relations as marriages. And helping with love emotional state, they help to get better impressions from sex.
You don't need most of them, some would be enough.
In young age <30 yo most people of any type should have medically normal weight (BMI <= 26). At least when they don't eat much of trashy food (sweets, fast food, etc) and have minimal physical load, what hypotethically some places of today may to have no. The problem may be if you strongly prefer weights significantly below top medical border, as Si types are rarely thin ones.
Also, mb LSEs fit more your type to make lesser picky.
No. I’m not sexually attracted to SEE much.
Now who would be sexually attracted to Se PoLR?
I'm an ESE, in the past I've (sexually and romantically) attracted mostly IEIs, weirdly. One ILE, one EII, and one ESE. I've been attracted to Alphas and Betas, mostly--ESEs, IEIs, LSIs.
Well, in general I've been more attracted to Se women or Fi women. Sexual attraction can change a lot after a first meeting, if a person is really off-putting in "vibe" the attraction quickly vanishes.
Chemistry is a different matter, I've had chemistry with a couple of (really attractive and smart) LIE women to the point that both our ESI partners seemed to get jealous, but you know it works with identicals, we're just having a good time doing stuff with the same mindset. But I could never ever live with them long term.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
It's some possibly when you could be attracted mostly to concrete bad IR type due to reasons as your close past or current emotions to one of them (which may appear to any type, as personality is secondary in sexual attractions and personality is more important for having positive longer and personally closer relations) and what you'd then tended to copy in a behavior.
But it's low possibly to be mostly attracted _to you_ by a _single_ and so bad IR type as having by you subrevisie. Only when you'd initiated those interests and relations or number of cases was too low for stats resume - then can be explained.
When there is no theory explanation can be supposed mistakes in types.
The only types anomaly of attraction to bad IR type I've noticed to conflictors. I perceive conflictor women as very feminine and hence interesting (mainly on a distance, without good personal knowing). I do not know how is it common. As possible explanation can be that it has opposite functional club as duals and so leads to expectaction of their personal traits, but unlike with superego it's harder to notice value difference.
Last edited by Sol; 02-11-2022 at 10:01 AM.
I'm usually most attracted to gamma SFs sexually. Beta NFs tend to be appealing in terms of their style and expression but I less often feel sexual attraction. I tend to find it easiest to start relationships with extroverted feelers (also kind of true for friendships generally). (LSI)
It's seem common here that many people don't find their Dual attracted the most.
Don't know others's reason, but for me, SEE girls always feel like a crazy little sister, so it's hard for me to feel attracted to them in a sexual way. Maybe Dual is not for romantic relationship, but for long-life friendship that the two could live together for a long time without killing each other, and the sexual relationship between them is a bonus...
(And it seem right because intertype relations is about distance - you can maintain good relationships with anyone as long as you keep the right distance with them)
Last edited by Tarnished; 02-11-2022 at 08:25 AM.
They have that special twikle in their eyes, that crazy Fi creative, like the young Alicia Silverstone....
you know what I mean? That's something I find really attractive just at first. My problem is that we do the stupidest things together.
Ftr sometimes ESIs have it too but only on special occasions
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
The Old spiderman trilogy, Peter and M.J seem like a EIE-ILI couple, and yeah the dude give alot of mixed signals...
Common are typing mistakes, including in own types. It's important to understand correctly own type and to know (better IRL) several examples of concrete IR to evaluate your impressions. This easily explaines cases which oppose to the theory, as typing accuracy is problematic.
Also, as personal traits have secondary influence on the discussed - people of _any types_ may inspire sexual attraction. While the influence of concrete IR is harder to notice.
Not all people even had near and long enough someone with best IR for pairs (duals/semiduals/activation) and other appropriate traits (sex, age, etc.) to notice a sympathy and an attraction. For example, I remember in regular IRL interactions (it's important for feelings development) and of close age, without stable relations women: 1 semidual, 3 activation and no duals. Except one duality not long ago and we talked a little, which appeared to have a long time pair besides other complications, but her feminity I liked anyway (cute and tender woman). Some people may have wider communications, but I doubt the majority had large enough possibilities for appropriate duality communications to understand effects of this IR on sexual interest.
When you know about types it becomes easier to pay the attention on such people. Today Internet social sites and meeting services help to try IRL communications with duals.
Also
I know at least 1 clear example when a human did not like own duals (among youtube examples) _much_ and also much prefered types of same functional club. That human reported about homosexual interests, such experience (besides normal relations) and had traits of narcissistic disorder.
I know IRL a single homosexual pair and those have same functional club (mb same types). I suspect close IR can be more common in pairs for such people than among normal ones, and that some psyche anomalies may lead to a difference in IR perceptions.
So it's possibly _in some rare cases_ when good IR people are not among most attractive (supposing there were enough interactions with them), at least to people which are known surfacely. Mb in long and close relations (for what IR theory is mainly done) the result would be other.
Last edited by Sol; 02-11-2022 at 12:19 PM.
You made me remember that not everyone need a long term relationship. In caveman time we don't have a long term 1v1 marriage like we are now (?), so are we not design to be that way? Short time non-dual romantic relationships is a very natural thing from the start?
Last edited by Tarnished; 02-11-2022 at 12:25 PM.
Well i understand what you mean but the women of the same club that I liked were good looking, smart, funny, fit so yeah I don't think it has to be about homosexual tendencies?
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
I think it's more of an emotional/"romantic" attraction - but one SLE I was with it was very sexually compatible but more just at the start and it quickly puttered out. My attraction to SLEs have often been not all that sexual at all, more "innocent" and even holy/religious as weird as that sounds though I'm not very holy or religious lol. It was just like more like warm fuzzies rather than making me attracted in that way. Which makes sense to me because lust fades- often what you are really turned on today, you won't be tomorrow- or maybe not ever again, even if you try to rekindle the fire- it's just not there. And that's just the way it works, eroticism is fluid and you can't force it. That's also why it's obviously stupid to base a relationship just on carnal attraction alone and intimacy and warm fuzzy feelings also need to be in play.
When people talk about Betas being perverted I think it misses the mark or they don't truly understand the nuance/complexities unless they are Beta themselves. Or maybe they are projecting and haven't yet fully accepted their own perversions, thinking a make-believe "god" will punish them. I've already done this a little too well because I don't know- Beta demon here and proud of it. Even though generally I am quite perverted, when I'm in love- I'm not so much at all, as I easily know the difference between lust and love. I can entertain a lot of fantasies and be average enneagram 4-ish but of course in reality they don't seem right unless they are right.
I have been most attracted to beta NF women, but it could be that they play into gender roles more than other types and prefer to accentuate their femininity. There are LIEs that I have felt activity energy from, almost as if we supercharge one another.
I don't know if I have met an ILI in real life before.
Bound upon me, rush upon me, I will overcome you by enduring your onset: whatever strikes against that which is firm and unconquerable merely injures itself by its own violence. Wherefore, seek some soft and yielding object to pierce with your darts.
-Seneca
I actually do experience sexual attraction mostly to beta quadra, but SLE the least, funnily enough.
Runner up would be gamma quadra, maybe ILI the most actually, even though they scare me. Not LIE, though.
Then delta NF. The ST aren’t attractive at all with the exception of some SLI.
I don’t usually feel attracted to alpha, but every now and then I’ll see someone from alpha quadra who is attractive.
It seems I am fairly consistent with socionics. Although, what attracts me most is a rougher and somewhat gothic look.
Others attracted to me as far as I know have usually been ESI, SEE, and SLE.
Again, fairly consistent with socionics.
Duals often fly under your radar up until the duality activates. You might not find them attractive at all even, until the duality dynamic strikes, and then suddenly that person who seemed too different from you and uninteresting becomes your whole world. Usually (based on my experience) one is more attracted to conflictors and mirages, although out of the intra-quadra ITR's, Activity also causes a great deal of attraction.
I met an ESE woman of healthy weight today! I'm actually considering joining an organization she's in to have more opportunities to talk to her, lol.
I've never seen an attractive ILE. The unsexiest type. Try to convince me otherwise.
@FreelancePoliceman, take the leap, man! You don't want to lose out on such a promise! The chances that we did not take we regret worse than those we did, so don't let that happen to yourself. Go for it and best of luck!
https://makeagif.com/gif/shia-labeou...o-tuned-bukLeW
The Socionics experience will never be complete until you date and sleep with a dual. (Assuming you havent done that yet)
The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.
(Jung on Si)
I could care less who is my dual and who is not at this point because I don’t want to be married and have an actual, lasting relationship with anyone.
I think that the concept of duality only can work if you’re invested in it, and you actually want to/ can find someone who compliments you.
It’s not a one fits all fix all your problems solution than one might think it is, based on how some people view it and how the descriptions would sometimes have you believe. And even when you find someone who is your dual’s “type”, it still takes a certain dual for the formula to actually work and yield results.
It’s not a Disney movie solution, and it’s laborious and it takes time to cultivate an understanding between you and your DSO (Dual Significant Other).
It’s a long drawn out process that I have no interest in maintaining or keeping up with.
I do not suffer fools gladly.
Yes duality is not about what I want. It's about seeing my true nature, and no matter how much I hate it I have to accept and work with it. All the drama and hard work with dual makes me into a better person and activate my true potential.
For one day Disney movie type trip: highly recommend conflicting relation. Can be fascinating for longer term if kept at large distance.
The mind is restless and difficult to restrain, but it is subdued by practice
-Krishna
What I appreciate about my duals is that eye contact is usually enough to tell me they are a dual. My duals have a certain quality that makes it impossible to hide their eyes from people. Whereas I am a pro at it. Anyway, I don't think sexual attraction is linked to duality. But it can be. Make sense?
#socionics #itsnotscience
EII - once in a while. To my dual ex, my attraction was largely mental. When I first met him, I was not physically attracted to him. However, now that I know him, I can’t separate my love for who he is from his face.
Even in cases where immediate physical attraction has been present with a dual, it usually does not take on the same tone of limerence as my attraction to other types. It is always slower and calmer.
I am most often drawn to SEE, LSI, and EIE.
ESI is often drawn to me romantically. IEE and SEI are often drawn to me as friends
The Barnum or Forer effect is the tendency for people to judge that general, universally valid statements about personality are actually specific descriptions of their own personalities. A "universally valid" statement is one that is true of everyone—or, more likely, nearly everyone. It is not known why people tend to make such misjudgments, but the effect has been experimentally reproduced.
The psychologist Paul Meehl named this fallacy "the P.T. Barnum effect" because Barnum built his circus and dime museum on the principle of having something for everyone. It is also called "the Forer effect" after its discoverer, the psychologist Bertram R. Forer, who modestly dubbed it "the fallacy of personal validation".
Sometimes a club member (SF, NT, NF, ST) are simpler to converse with than a dual.
This is just a ploy to have people send you pictures of attractive duals, isn't it?
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
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An SEI and an LSE are the two types that have made me lose my mind with attraction to them. The SEI was more sexual, but both made me lose sense with reality and feel like absolutely anything was possible. I was once a teaching assistant in a school, and as part of the job you observed teachers teaching. I developed a really crazy crush on an LSE English teacher who wore these hot check suits. It was such a silly crush, I got so excited going to his lessons hoping to talk to him at some point. This is SO embarrassing but I went to the Xmas party hoping to chat to him. When he wasn’t there I asked after him and another teacher broke the news to me that he was gay. It was so funny because it was one of those times where I’d kinda imagined that we had a bit of a spark or something..even though we hardly spoke. Of course straight away I found it really funnyBut yeah his particular si made me light up and feel like I was in a Disney movie, like someone mentioned before about conflictors being Disney-ish.
Similarly, the SEI and I are like puppy dogs around each other, one minute bouncing around the next crying or sulking. From my perspective, the boy seems to get super caught up in his si around me, caught up in our bubble of chemistry, I hardly think he’s aware of what he’s saying to me and it feels so intensely good or bad (depending on our current moods) that he doesn’t really pause to think and doesn’t really reflect on it later..he just comes back ready to go again, ready to try to improve the vibe or win me over again. Similarly, I keep thinking that we’ll reach some sort of comfy happy medium but of course we don’t because he’s the one with all the si control in the situation and my si can’t take the drama anymore. (He has a gf and I’m moving buildings to flee him lol)
So yeah working with si types can be intense..lol.
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 02-13-2022 at 12:03 PM.
ILE
ILE woman with big muscle is sexy ILE?
Or old ILE woman with her dogs?
It's weird when it's ILE, not matter where it come from.
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