She still could have said "just as friends" and it would have gotten the point across while being less awkward for both of you and wouldn't have brought a thought of the two of you having sex out into the air. And I'm sure she knew that. She said specifically what she said for a reason other than placing boundaries, I think, but I'm a little at a loss.
What do you think that reason was?Originally Posted by ashlesha
She still could have said "just as friends
*EDIT*
OK, one other fact about her which might be relevant or not: She takes care of people. That time she picked up a package for me on my porch, she was helping me out. She got very animated on the phone and kept trying to continue the conversation and actually sounded a bit breathless and silly.
I would guess she likes to be in the superior position, and the more helpless the guy is, the better. Probably another reason why we’re not connecting.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 10-16-2019 at 02:21 AM.
My first thought was it sounded a bit Fi polr for her to say that outright unless he did bring up sex at some point before? Then he mentioned she said she would go for his son if he was older which also sounded like F is not her strength. Not specifically Fi polr even if my first thought. Like who says that to a guy they are dating, even if you are thinking it? I am a bit at a loss too. Maybe an E7 or EP is more likely to blurt that out. Idk. :/She still could have said "just as friends
I am only basing this on the few ESI I know well. Just doesn't seem their style but they do not represent all ESI.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
I did not mention sex at all, not close, not implied. Other than the fact that I was goofing around with her and teasing her a bit (about how she tells people that no one knows what she's thinking, since many ESI's say that. Her comment about "no sex" took me entirely by surprise.
She said that later. Like, a year later.
We weren't dating. At least, not in the conventional sense. She agreed to have lunch with me once, then we went to a park by the river to continue the convo, then we went to my house to continue the convo, and then she left. Hardly dating. More like a very extended lunch. She did clean herself up and looked pretty good, though. She looks almost exactly like Peggy Lee: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uTcw_A80Bo
And yeah, she might not be an e6. She's so driven to help, maybe she has an e2 in there somewhere.
I think she just blurted it out. Let's ask @ashlesha if she's ever said anything that she immediately recognized as oversharing.
You know her and I don't. Perhaps take a look at EP types too. The way she ghosted or put you off for years just made me think EP. Introverts can do that too though but they are more likely to never take you up on the date and avoid you if they don't want to say "no" outright. The comments about no sex (especially since you never brought that up) and your kid made me think weak F and/or EP.I did not mention sex at all, not close, not implied. Other than the fact that I was goofing around with her and teasing her a bit (about how she tells people that no one knows what she's thinking, since many ESI's say that. Her comment about "no sex" took me entirely by surprise.
She said that later. Like, a year later.
We weren't dating. At least, not in the conventional sense. She agreed to have lunch with me once, then we went to a park by the river to continue the convo, then we went to my house to continue the convo, and then she left. Hardly dating. More like a very extended lunch. She did clean herself up and looked pretty good, though. She looks almost exactly like Peggy Lee: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uTcw_A80Bo
And yeah, she might not be an e6. She's so driven to help, maybe she has an e2 in there somewhere.
I think she just blurted it out. Let's ask @ashlesha if she's ever said anything that she immediately recognized as oversharing.Three years ago I was in my front yard and noticed an ESI working in the yard of the house across the street. I made some excuse to go over and talk to her and after about 45 minutes she suggested that we go out some time for a burger and beer “but no sex”. I thought WTF? Who mentioned sex?
So I called her a few times to get a lunch date and she was busy for two years.
Last year in July she was not busy and we went out and spent about eight hours hanging out and talking. After that date, she was too busy to go out for another year, despite my repeated text and phone invitations.I think most women usually know if you are a "yes" or a "no" rather quickly. I don't think what is going on here is because of weak N. Why wouldn't an ESI not know how she feels about you? That is supposed to be one of their strengths. Just some things to consider. She might be one.She's ESI, so she's loaded with Fi and really likes my Te and admires my general situation in life. She and I spent eight very easy hours together one day. So, she likes me. Maybe more than she cares to admit.
She can't see where things are going (low Ni), because the last thing she asked me, that day we went out, was what direction I think the world is going in? (I said it will be fine.) She bases all her decisions on previous experiences, and she can't decide if I'm like a "previous rat BF male" or some guy she should like.
Maybe you can share what loaded with Fi looks like to you so I can understand better?
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
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