Today I've met my fourth INFP person, and from three out of four I know they don't want kids later on in their life. The fourth is unknown.
Is this a pattern, or coincidence?
This poll is for INFP only.
Today I've met my fourth INFP person, and from three out of four I know they don't want kids later on in their life. The fourth is unknown.
Is this a pattern, or coincidence?
This poll is for INFP only.
Weak and unvalued Si.
But, for a certainty, back then,
We loved so many, yet hated so much,
We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...
Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
Whilst our laughter echoed,
Under cerulean skies...
I like kids, and hope to one day have some of my own. I think I'd make an okay dad.
"How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
I think I'm pretty good at dealing with kids cuz I'm the oldest of four children so did lots of baby sitting when I was younger. That being said I'm undecided as to whether I'd actually want kids in the future. It's a lot of responsibility and I'd need to know that I was financially secure enough to take care of them the way I'd want to. Also I'd need to be in a stable relationship. Even with all those requirements met tho it would very strongly depend on the what my s/o would want - I'd also be up for adopting a child vs. having my s/o suffer 9 months of horror and the detrimental impacts to her career.
But this is all hypothetical and I can't see myself with kids before I'm thirty something if ever.
INFp-Ni
I like them a bit. I have three of my own
I will say this: I get crabby if I don't have time to myself, down time, time with my own friends, time with my husband without the kids--time to do things I want to do. And if that means hiring a babysitter, then I can do that. I'm not defined by my kids the way lots of moms are. I love them and I enjoy them and do my best as a mom but for me that means maintaining a sense of who I am. Otherwise I start to feel kind of resentful. I actually think it's better for the kids when a) the world doesn't revolve around them b) mom has a life that she enjoys and c) they are given the freedom to learn from their mistakes.
IEI-Fe 4w3
no i'm not infp, but i just have to say that this is exactly the way i look at it.Originally Posted by redbaron
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
I love children, especially infants, so much so that I hope to volunteer in an orphanage someday. I think the mundane aspects of caregiving might weigh a bit heavily upon me, but all of that will be overshadowed by the relationships you have with your kids.
INFp, Intuitive subtype, Enneagram 6w5
Back in school and on semi-permanent hiatus from the forum
I've never been the type to engage children on my own accord, which is an ingrained habit/choice/preference, so raising children has never been high on my Things-To-Do-Before-I-Die list. Also, I don't subscribe to the idea of marriage, which puts me at odds with the vast majority of women and makes it unlikely that I'll be making babies with a partner (disregarding possible accidents ). If I did change my mind, I would adopt before making my own -- I've always believed that it is simply right to adopt suffering or disadvantaged children born elsewhere rather than add to the world's bloated population and subsequent problems.
You haven't voted yet.Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
But I'm getting a bit of clear picture already. It's not a pattern.
I am later in my life and never wanted kids. They freak me out. Way too needy and totally dependent on you. Just can't handle that kind of total all-encompassing responsibility for another human being.Originally Posted by Jarno
Yes, seems typical IME with INFps, too.Originally Posted by Jarno
I do like kids, but admittedly, I haven't had as much experience with them as some other people. They are really adorable, and have their own unique, innocent way of viewing the world. We can learn a lot from them too. When people don't like kids, it's an automatic turnoff for me, and I can't help but look at those people as insensitive. I do have a young 17-month year old niece who I love very much, and I've babysat a few times in the past. I've also helped out and assisted with children in Sunday school and enjoy it. I'm kind of awkward around kids who I'm not related to, but I do like them.
I really don't want kids of my own though. Maybe it could be viewed as a doublestandarded and ambivalent view on the whole topic. Watching other kids is one thing, having your own is a whole other can of worms. Some people lump wanting your own kids and liking them in the first place into one category. Society puts emphasis on women producing the next generation, and it has since the beginning of human civilization. With my goals for the future, I'm not quite sure where kids would fit in, and kids of your own are a big responsibility. I'm scared to verbalize me not wanting kids to the rest of my family though. I see myself more being a crazy pet lady and owning a bunch of pets who would be like my children.
xII se PoLR, 9w1-5w4-2w3 sp/so
Phlegmatic-Melancholic |RCoAI| Fascinator| Newtype-secondary| LEFVl|
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I don’t know how to answer the poll because I don’t want kids, but I do like kids. However, I don’t see kids in my future nor have I ever dreamed of having them.
Yes. I'm not someone who plays with every random kid I see though. It's more on a spiritual level. I do want kids some day, if I ever get that lucky.
I can’t say for sure what kind of parent I would be, but it’s kind of a shame so many don’t want kids because we are said to be good with kids, and from what I can tell that does seem to be the case. Of course, having one’s own and all flag responsibility could play out differently. My dad always said if I had an actual human child it would be spoiled to death based on how I treat my pets, but, idk... wouldn’t want any bad traits potentially affecting Human child is a bit different than a dog or cat
I think spoiled is probably the worst thing a person could end up being. I would be very disappointed in myself if my children ended up with a spoiled attitude. Maybe my poor background has something to do with that. I think I'd be a lot stricter as a dad than many people would assume, but of course I would also want to be very loving, caring, playful etc. To me life is very much about taking serious things very seriously, and taking unserious things not seriously at all. That distinction is important to me for some reason. I would also try to be very receptible towards their interests and what kind of person they seem to be. I think I'd like the teaching aspect of being a father, too. I'd like to give them everything I never had as a kid. Hopefully it wouldn't backfire somehow.
Wow- this forum can be summed up as:
"I met 4 people and 3 people are like x, omg im so smart im onto something!!!!"
Do you like kids aside from active parenting.... or shady stuff?
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idiosyncratic type
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I think the idea may be that since many IEI's are non-traditional and value things like freedom?, travel, etc., that they may not necessarily want children in the way other types might. On a grander scale it could be that all types are prone to wanting children based on evolutionary and/or societal reasons outside of socionics, but the IEI may just be one of the types that have a bit greater of a chance of not wanting them? I notice in the poll results there is a lot of "Yes, a bit" and that's kind of what I tend to read with IEI, they like children, but based on maybe some of the reasons I described, some may just feel that having/raising their own wouldn't be an ideal situation for them, or for the children they would potentially bring to the earth. Of course it wouldn't apply to all IEI's
I’ve worked with a loooooot of kids and families and well. Just do planning for rudimentary things at least and believe in the best happening. You don’t wan’t to have a dead kid or major important things to not be accounted for, but life is full of twists and turns and a smooth sea never made for a good sailor. Ironically maybe the more you try to control things in detail, the more it backfires. Pray to have a good partner to pick up the pieces for you when it does.