In principle I agree with you on this. Though what I understand from @
Lady Lunacik is that this was a very special situation. Lady Lunacik was friends with the ILI, who then started dating a SEE. This SEE harboured a dislike, possibly even jealousy, against Lady Lunacik. Out of this animosity the SEE turned her boyfriend away from Lady Lunacik. This would mean that the SEE initiated the manipulation.
Lady Lunacik then reacted to this by explaining to her ILI friend how the the SEE he was dating was manipulating him. To me this doesn't sound like Lady Lunacik was manipulating her ILI friend, instead she was exposing the SEE's envy and intrigue to the ILI. If someone was intentionally slandering my good name and setting up my friends against me, then I would deem exposing their ploy to be justified self-defence from my end.