Is the male aggressor romantic-style outdated?

[marooned]

I think no one likes being forced against their will. Where I personally am confused is that I could choose this but it's because it's with my will. But if I ever articulate that, it takes away the significance. Maybe it's because I've been effed in the head by the patriarchy, but I can't help it. It's like consent without consent. BDSM wouldn't satisfy it because it's too structured and everyone declares their roles. It needs to be spontaneous.

Anyway, maybe I am a creature molded by the patriarchy. No means yes, yes means no. I make myself unavailable when no really is no by preventing contact in the first place, and I've always been good at that. Outside of workplaces it is dreadfully easy for me to avoid people because I have the gift/curse of invisibility. When I don't want to be seen people don't see me. Although perhaps like many Si type descriptions say, I am shocked when I am noticed because I never expect it. Creeps may be drawn to me because they sense a throw rug, and relatively intellectually challenged creep types are the only ones I've had a problem getting rid of because they don't notice or disregard all the signals of "stay away from me." And it's true once you get past the facade I actually am not good at making people leave me alone, but all the defenses before that point work really well like 99% of the time. I also can always employ tactics to make myself undesirable by being weird in a way that is difficult to process.

But the other point is I know when I'm in danger. I know who is dangerous. I know automatically. My blind spot is intellectually challenged people which is in a lot of ways the least problematic blind spot (and betrays bias about things I need to work on).