The Dark Side of Believing in True Love Duals

[Sol]

The common idea of love is when two people feel good with each other.
The culture understands that this can be achieved by when two people care about each other and help each other.
The need in this care predisposes to have a feeling of joined minds, when you are tuned to what happens with other human and so absorb his thoughts, emotions and sensations as yours too. When you are feeling you both as equal parts of "One", alike two hands of same body. When you share the most in the life and in both of you. It's rather close to what is called good close friendship. In pairs to this is added sexual attraction.

When problems may come?
When you notice that other human do not care enough about some of your interests, when you feel not good in something - you think "we have no good love", to value this relations lesser and mb to seek for other human for better love.
People are different and mb there can be better ones for you, indeed. But the degree of "wrong human" can be overesteemated. While "new one" can appear better in lesser degree or even worse, than you initially supposed.
If people think that love is what exists "as is" only (alike just find the "correct human"), but not what also needs efforts and care about each other to establish it - they get this problem.
What much exists "as is" is sexual attraction. While friendship relations need a time and efforts, to know other human, to establish a mutual care where both help each other to feel better and good enough. If a human gets strong sexual passion - this motivation and excitation may compensate the lack of friendship for some time, the lack of personal factor in relations. After ~3 years sexual attraction generally significantly decreases, and people notice more clear the lack of friendship support and of good between them. If geting this they will think "ow.. I've just mistaken" and start to seak or switch for another one, - this may repeat the situation. If these two people will do efforts to establish better friendship - they may feel much better in existing relations, and sexual attraction mb improved with this too to add the fun.

Duality and good IR mb said as among important personal traits which help to establish good friendship/love. Make this easier.
It does not mean that you can't feel good enough with other IR. And does not mean that you'll feel automatically good with your dual or someone "correct" for you. A sympathy - yes, may appear automatically, but for feel good in relations as a marriage or friendship needs efforts from you.
"True love" to be needs much of efforts in relations. You are accepting interests of other human same important as own ones. You are accepting his thoughts, emotions and sensations same important as own ones. You are accepting what other human does in the life same important for you as for him. It's a lot of what you _both_ need to do to become as One. The more degree 2 people share the life between them - the more of love they have. Having love state - the more of usefulness they may get from each other and to feel better in those relations.

So "true love" is important to be seeked for. The problem can be in how people understand it's goten.
A factor of "correct human" or "correct enough human" exists. But it's not the only factor and mb not absolute factor. They should notice the existing in marriage vows words as "I will love you and honour you all the days of my life". People vow each other to love each other - what means this needs their will and efforts, and not what "just exists". This means to care about interests of each other, to have good feelings to each other what is natural motivation for such care.

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Let's take an analogy.
What needs to have a good firm, which makes a product for wages and people feel good working in it.
Does it need only to gather appropriate people with needed skills together? No.
It needs they did efforts to understand how to deal with each other.
And it needs they do a work every day to get the product.
Then we get a "happy firm".
It also does not mean that people will have no conflicts or shortages to solve which may need efforts, more of such are expected in the beginning. Or to leave some "as is", as the good overweights enough in the cooperation.
We get "happy enough firm".
Also does not mean we can't make similarly "happy enough firm" with other people or if to change some of them.

Love is same every day work. To understand what other one needs and to care about him. Then he feels good with you. And the similar support you get to feel good too.
And same as with a firm you may get similar "true love" with several of people, not only with some "one" in whole world. At least, from the point of plain reason, as exists many people which we may like and which have good traits for us (including duality types). The good in idea of "the only one" is that if we believe to deal with such human, it helps to more concentrate on interests of the human and so do more efforts to establish love state with him - hence to get better relations and feelings there. The same reason to be useful is the intention for life long marriage, seen in vows. To be sexually monogamic helps in this concentration too, besides removing jealousy problems.