Synthesizing descriptions of duality.

[Bertrand]

I agree with your post Wasp but I disagree with your reading of the OP, I think the OP and you agree on all essential points

the take home is simply conflict happens in duality and hurts but has a different character than conflict of other kinds, how you characterize that difference as having greater or lesser tension than other kinds is kind of subjective, but suffice to say conflict exists between duals and it hurts in its own special way. it is the kind of hurt that occurs when its not coming from the unknown the way it usually does so you can't use the same old tired heuristics to ignore it, rather its the kind of pain that arises from a lower degree of absolute conflict but one that touches you completely so you feel it acutely across many levels. really they need different words for fighting with your dual vs others. its a unique psychological experience whereas fighting with non duals is all shades of its own other thing, which is the lion's share of conflict in life, but is rooted in a lot of projection and differing values. fighting with duals in my experience comes from fighting with your own issues head on, its a confrontation with yourself as the ruiner and that sucks

every dyad is probably going to color their own experience of a) conflict with the world and b) conflict with duals in slightly different terms, but I think its important to try and contextualize such characterizations as commenting on substantially the same phenomenon but experienced through different lenses. what people mean by "tension" and which is higher v lower in comparison (in re a v b) is going to go to that, the point is there is a relationship there and tension is a great word for characterizing relationships, the absolute positions we prefer to configure it in notwithstanding. you could say relations with duals are the high point of tension which is what the OP may be alluding to, simply because the people are so bound up, tension is not necessarily discomfort or -Fe etc rather it is presence of force in a relationship. I can easily see how "emotional discomfort" is how people read tension but I think that is too literal for what is being conveyed here. rather its more like an invisible bond that intensifies feelings of conflict even in lesser disputes, which makes it sound like duality just makes things worse, but its more the phenomenon about why fighting with your mom is worse than fighting with a stranger. its not because your relationship to mom is "worse" (assuming normal relations etc)