Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
Hi, @Myst.

I read all of the descriptions of love in your link, and I agree that I probably come closest to the Pragma form of love. Except you'd have to blend that in with Stupidia, which is the form of love that keeps you married when your SLI partner has left for greener pastures.

I was talking to my IEE bookkeeper today, and she is about 18 years into a marriage to an ILE and is counting the days until her separation and divorce, which will be when her youngest goes off to college. I asked her what happened, and she said that she married him because she expected that they would both grow up after they got married, bought a house, and had kids, but it turned out that only she grew up. He, on the other hand, wants a Mommy who will find his underpants for him and remind him when it's time to eat.
She said that the warning signs were there from the first. They threw a dinner party for some friends, and she first cleaned his messy apartment, bought the food, prepared the meal, served the meal, and then cleaned off the table and after the guests had gone, did the dishes. When she complained that she felt like he had done nothing and she was just serving him, he told her "I like to be served", at which point she blew up. She married him anyway, so, she says, she has only herself to blame.
She also told me that he forgets their kid's birthdays and is never there for holidays. She said that this used to really hurt her, but she now just gives him exactly what he gave her for her birthday. This year, she said, he got a text saying "Happy Birthday", because that's exactly what she got from him last year. But, she went on to say, she buys herself really nice presents.
She was also very interested in seeing how Match.com works, because she's planning ahead.

So, I guess, Pragma isn't just a Gamma thing.
That whole thing makes sense. She literally lays out the Si future she expected but did not get. I imagine most people walk down the isle with a DS expectation like that.

I heard a saying that says we walk down the isle with 6 people. Who we are, who we think we are, who we think they are, who they are, who they think they are, and who they think we are. Somehow I think there is some socionics in that lol.

That story though kinda reminds me when I dated an ESI, it felt like both of us had a hard time being the responsible one. I remember once I said to her "One of us has to do the thinking" when I felt like we were about to do something without really thinking about it, and I thought she would take offense to that but she said " You're right." and was willing to take a back seat lol. Essentially what she wanted me to do was up and move from where I was to where she was purely because of how I felt about her, and she wanted me to go with that feeling and uproot, and I argued that we can't just do big moves like that just based on how we feel. I could feel the imminent danger if we both amplified our natural ways like that, doing things purely based on our feelings, that really made me aware of the lack of balance we both had, felt like there was danger on the other side of our indulgence.

I guess that's what happens in kindred relations, you feel so connected in the beginning because someone speaks your language, and it's all fun and games, but later down the line once the honeymoon phase dies in the face of real life problems and struggles you can feel the lack in your self, in your partner, the load you have to carry, or are putting off, and you can feel the lack in your lives, once all the fun and games are over.

I know an fLIE/mLSE power couple and I have no idea what that's like, perhaps being so efficient that you could potentially lose the human factor and roll over people like the obstacles they look like? lol. They seem like a nice pair and don't seem like that at all though. Husband has a hard time trying to get his wife to be subservient though, and wife has a slightly hard time not speaking over her husband and getting him juice when he asks lol.