A beta victim, EIE
i like older guys
Something about, a man.
A man, taking control.
Boys don't interest me
I'm definitely a tease. And i know how to drive a man crazy.
But It's just so i can possibly find the one to really give it to me.
I want to be near raped
I'm independent and such and a strong woman. But That's half to weed out the lame bunch.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
IEI talking about me. We happened on to talking about this, so, I decided to quote it verbatim here.
I've been teaching her a little about socionics, at least to try to explain some basic things. I used two ENTjs that we know (outside of myself) to illustrate what
ll: I wasnt planning on it
me: f u [me joking]
ll: do you ever say that to peoples' faces?
me: yes
ll: WOW
ll: I cannot imagine you saying that lol
me: You've idealized me such that I don't get angry at people/
ll: Ive idealized you?
ll: "you need a little salt and pepper"
ll: "please stop saying ok"
ll: "laugh sometimes"
ll: "you're kinda boring"
ll:
me: salt and pepper?
ll: you need a little spice sometimes
ll: I must have said that on a day you were being a little bland
me: yeah
me: why don't you think I'd say Fu to someone/ [I essentially knew why, but I wanted to see what she would say]
ll: sorry to "try to manipulate your mood to fit mine"
ll: lol
ll: because!
ll: you're too nice
ll: I dont think Ive ever seen you angry
ll: maybe a little moody, but not mad
me: oh
ll: I am not implying that you are feminine, though
ll: your "go getter", truth seeking, productive attitude is anything but feminine lol
me: oh my.
ll: sigh
me: so describe my personality more
ll: stuck up, evil, jerk
ll: psych
me: more [The nature of this conversation is me being somewhat dry. Other times I'm more lively, but it depends on how I'm feeling. Comments like "more" and "no" are to be taken in terms of our relationship to each other, and how I said "more" here is a bit of a dry joke as well]
ll: In my opinion; you are very serious,sweet,humble, hard working, task-oriented/productive, wise/caring, helpful, articulate, spiritual,and a lot more.
me: hmm
me: ho about that
ll: now
ll: its your turn
me: no [this is us joking around some]
ll: f u
[I actually did go on to describe her personality but I've left that out of this quote]
[This (below) has somewhat to do with "please stop saying ok". She says things sometimes to try to get a more Fe HA reaction that she'd expect from an ESTp, and sometimes I'll just say "ok", which is odd for her]
ll: I know, we are different people.
ll: you're just so unplayful
me: that's correct.
ll: Im learning not to take it personallyis, and her comment about "learning not to take it personally" has to do with some of our talks about how she values
and I do not. Similarly, I talked about how I found her jokes at 'serious moments' (to me) were unappealing and distracting, but, I can see how it is her way of lightening the mood and trying to regulate us being in positive emotional atmospheres.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
these are great, UDP. That EIE one made me LOL! "half to weed out the lame bunch" indeed! haha
IEI-Fe 4w3
UDP.. I've had that same thing of some people deciding that I don't get angry, or be like "fuck you".. thing is I do get angry, and be like "fuck you"; sometimes I control my behaviour more than other times that's all.
Like it's pretty easy to get me to say fuck you - just make things personal - it's easy to get me to be like fuck you - keep things impersonal.
Do you consider that IEI your friend? Dunno...I realize she was probobly joking around but that'd offend me to be honest. The whole "You're kinda boring" seems a bit hostile.
You're kinda boring is provocative rather than hostile. It's actually a phrase I sometimes use.Originally Posted by jessica129
It's a taunt - like - do something interesting.
Telling me I'm boring is a sure way to get me to never talk to you again.
I think I understand you. I'm just not sure what the final sentence means. I think I am similar in terms of controlling my behavior. She's seen me go toe-to-toe with people at work, and point out to my boss things that he did wrong or could have done better. But she's never seen me get "emotionally angry" at people, or "flip out". On the other hand, I've pointed out what people did wrong and been angry at them for doing so. So I think to her it's more that I don't seek to emotionally rouse people.
Going away from your post and talking some about myself: It's misleading sometimes how I am, I think
She was generally serious about what she said of me. It didn't bother me at all, because what she considers "boring" or "not boring" doesn't particularly bother me. (however, see the taunt quote below). Also, she's mature enough to understand me for who I am (which is a special quality of people, and not types), and I am mature enough to understand her - and socionics helps me as well. But if it were not for that maturity and apparent awareness that I simply don't react to her Fe prods, I don't think I'd be able to be friends with her. Glamourama is also this way. As she said somewhere (or at least to me), it used to bother her significantly, but just came to understand that "it's how UDP is".
A lot of how she sees me as boring is that I follow zero fe leads that she makes, when she tries to make things more fun (in her eyes). I imagine, although I never addressed this with her, that I seem odd, because sometimes I will seem more "humorous" than others - and it has more to do with what I feel, rather than what efforts she makes.
Also, we first "met" at work, generally. So I seemed extremely serious and extremely boring, at first. This is because she tries to ease the mood with Fe. We likely would have never encountered each other if not for 1) some unusual circumstances and 2) certain shared interests. There was also physical attraction involved, some.
As far as doing things, well, I actually do significantly more 'work'/school activities than she does. And I do things outside of it as well. I think there is also a little bit of me being boring in that I'm friends with her but I don't pursue her to do things with me, which INFps seem to generally expect and want. This isn't because I'm wanting her to invite me to do stuff, but, it's that I just don't want to do things with her. "I can do whatever I like", and I generally do.
Yeah. IEIs say that sometimes as a sort of "negative Fe move", like them expressing "hey this isn't fun, do something about it". But that doesn't do anything to me.It's a taunt - like - do something interesting.
If anything, like with the one IEI I/we can't talk to/gether for more than 10 minutes because we are so adverse, it makes me want to distance myself from the person. If someone is actually really accusing me of being boring, then I say forget it - because I take that as having to cater to their emotional needs in a way that I cannot. EIIs never, ever make statements like that, and that's very nice - it's more how much you pay attention to their needs and comfort. IEIs want you to do things that are "exciting", and what is exciting to them is not generally something I feel as productive and/or relaxing to me. Often I feel like IEIs want things from me that I simply have no means of giving them, so, when it gets to that stage and they are 'expecting' certain things from me, that's when I really shut things down.
The worst is when an IEI basically likes you as a friend and still hasn't given up on you, possibly, doing something exciting and entertaining with them - as they want. Again, its people subconsciously wanting a person they like to be their duals.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
I see. That makes sense. I've been called boring by various Betas. Oh well. I generally can't tolerate being around them for long anyway.
I think I fucked it up. Damn computers, make everything blend into one.
Not that many people seem to have actually seen me flip out. But like in the past I've often got kind of violent depending on circumstances, and at least I get into this kind of needing-to-immediately-deal-with-things way...She's seen me go toe-to-toe with people at work, and point out to my boss things that he did wrong or could have done better. But she's never seen me get "emotionally angry" at people, or "flip out". On the other hand, I've pointed out what people did wrong and been angry at them for doing so. So I think to her it's more that I don't seek to emotionally rouse people.
What's emotionally angry though?
I don't get it either. What do you mean when you say you're intense but without emotion?Going away from your post and talking some about myself: It's misleading sometimes how I am, I think
Hmm, I can be serious and boring at work too. I mean, I could stick out a bit, I wouldn't completely disappear or anything. But like, I hardly did small talk or anything. I didn't really make it very personal.She was generally serious about what she said of me. It didn't bother me at all, because what she considers "boring" or "not boring" doesn't particularly bother me.
A lot of how she sees me as boring is that I follow zero fe leads that she makes, when she tries to make things more fun (in her eyes). I imagine, although I never addressed this with her, that I seem odd, because sometimes I will seem more "humorous" than others - and it has more to do with what I feel, rather than what efforts she makes.
Also, we first "met" at work, generally. So I seemed extremely serious and extremely boring, at first. This is because she tries to ease the mood with Fe. We likely would have never encountered each other if not for 1) some unusual circumstances and 2) certain shared interests. There was also physical attraction involved, some.
Except, when I first started working there was this secretary, who often seemed to try and "shift" me a bit. So anyway, on fridays we used to have a few drinks at work often, and she was at the supermarket with me, and we were getting beer, and she didn't seem to have any idea what she was doing, in an active way. And we're at the checkout, and she's acting weird in some way or another, reasonably far back from me. So I kind of look at her, and then she seems to start acting a bit more sensibly, and anyway, somehow the checkout operator decides that she's my girlfriend, and it's like uh., what's wrong with him. Blah blah., Then I think I scabbed a cigarette off her., which seemed to be as close as we ever got. But hey, she used to be pretty animated with me. But like I think it's partially because I wasn't that responsive. Like when the checkout operator asked if she was my girlfriend I don't think I actually said anything, I just thought they were weird, and continued my transaction, not really answering either way, because they were some kind of meaningless dwango.
Anyway, when I look back, it's like I actually acted pretty closed, and I kind of often just kind of didn't respond much, but that just seemed to maker her more "keen" and kind of "try and understand where I was coming from" more or something. And it's like, then I'd just simplify our interactions to scabbing cigarettes off her.
Heh. Tell her she'll just get in the way!As far as doing things, well, I actually do significantly more 'work'/school activities than she does. And I do things outside of it as well. I think there is also a little bit of me being boring in that I'm friends with her but I don't pursue her to do things with me, which INFps seem to generally expect and want. This isn't because I'm wanting her to invite me to do stuff, but, it's that I just don't want to do things with her. "I can do whatever I like", and I generally do.
Hahaha.Yeah. IEIs say that sometimes as a sort of "negative Fe move", like them expressing "hey this isn't fun, do something about it". But that doesn't do anything to me.
Mm distance.If anything, like with the one IEI I/we can't talk to/gether for more than 10 minutes because we are so adverse, it makes me want to distance myself from the person
Love this...just fyi
Hm, I was just thinking how that is so far from myself. I'm not interested in 'boys' either, but try and 'take control' and that just makes me want to wiggle out of your grasp... just because I can. I don't like being directed.
IEE
Te, it seems thus far. Like I said, it's more her way. Anyhow, when INFp Fes get "cranky" or "wound up", they stand out as the most sheerly incompatible types. I know a male and female Fe subtype INFp and it's kind of similar. They have an almost "rigid" form of being Fe creative that is annoying. It's almost forceful, but still very different from EIEs. It's a combination of internal nervousness and desparately seeking to have emotional stimulation or effect on the person they are talking to - that's how it feels when they get that way with me. To them, I probably seem like I'm being a really big asshole or jerk because I am REFUSING to react to their emotional leads, or, perhaps like that above conversation shows: simply stating something that is not particlarly emotionally biased in either way. It's specific in terms of what is going on, but totally vague - as she said - in terms of my emotional "feelings" about what is going on. So I can see how that aspect of it may be frustrating to her.This is so interesting. What subtype are you?
cute that she doesn't want you to categorize your relationship because it limits growth. I agree with her but at the same time I thought you answered the question about what was going on with you quite nicely.
For the record, when I said how it seems like this is something where we don't understand each other -- I've tried to explain in the past, at its basic level, us being different in terms of Fe and Te (although not in socionics terms). More so just explaining how we go about things differently, basically. I was trying to make a reference to it in that conversation, but, there seemed to be no want to really go in that direction, so, I just let it go and we stopped talking in essence.
She's alright, actually. She just gets emotionally reactive sometimes. Othertimes, I'll say nearly the same sort of thing and she'll be fine with it. I think she was just being weird today, more so.
It wasn't. She initiated the conversation, and that was the length of our interaction, essentially. So I mean, I'm not disappointed or surprised. She was looking for a certain kind of interaction, I wasn't going to provide her with it, and things just ended - that's really what happened. I wouldn't say she was being a leech, just sort of doing her own thing.
"Hold on loosely, but don't let go"... yeah?
Last edited by UDP; 02-19-2009 at 11:09 PM.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
True story:
IEI: would u like to be involved in hall council?
Me: Imperial Commander [UDP]
Me: i won't take anything less.
IEI: haha thats fine...we have someone who is the "shoulder angel"
Me: I was hmm
Me: originally thinking about some sort of a spy position
IEI: haha sounds legit to me
Me: i don't know
Me: whatdo you think my role should be?
Me: I was busy in a meeting last time, that's why I wasn't there.
Me: didn't get back until 11
IEI: "the voice of reason" thats u lol
Me: hm
Me: why do you say that
IEI: because ur always reasonable...sometimes to an impressibely unimaginative pointlol jk
Indeed. The conversion continues...
Me: That does suite me.
IEI: yup, i told u
IEI: so do u wana be on hall council? lol
Me: um
Me: what do you need?
IEI: ?
Me: what
Me: actually needs
Me: um
Me: what sort of person do you need on hall council?
Me: is there anything that particularly needs to be done or addressed, or does it not really matter
Me: I figure I'll just ask if there is like a glaring need, first, before just choosing something nice.
IEI: idk ur just more serious and i think that u would be a good presence on hall council...liek u wanna see stuff get done...thats kinda ur personality i think...more focused so...ur not wasting my life lol...u wanna see good things for the hall but are aware that u cant just sit there and expect them to magically happen. it doesnt matter what u call urself tho as long as u show up and contribute
Me: oh, ok.
Me: Yeah
Me: i'll do that.
Me: think of a cool and fitting name or title for me and
Me: I'll do it.
Me: I'm not very creative, so, i'll leave that to you.
IEI: lol why cant u be the voice of reason? i think thats cute...or u can be the roya vizier...thats what i was gonna be if i didnt win lol
Me: hmm
Me: if you'd like.
IEI: haha noooo what would uuuuu like?
Me: Well
Me: let's come up with some alternates
Me: voice of reason is a little bit cliche because I used to know someone else who also used that as a reference to himself.
Me: but that's just me.
Me: um
IEI: uhhh yea its cliche...thats why its cute
Me: alright
Me: we'll go with that for now, then.
IEI: lol its ok if u dont like it im just letting u know it was intentionally cliche
Me: Yeah
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
that's a cute one. Same IEI?You didn't appreciate her intentionally cliche title for you? I thought it was funny. But I like Imperial Commander also.
I find these conversations so amusing for some reason...
IEI-Fe 4w3
This one is the same IEI as some others, yeah.
She knows how I am with work stuff.
I didn't find it as funny, but my humor style is my own I guess.
They are amusing, from a detached standpoint. Fun to look back, annoying while in it, at times
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
yeah. they're so painfully not on the same page. i feel as if i'm watching a sitcom.
EII; E6(w5)
i am flakey
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