What are your experiences with this relationship?
I'm in a situation where for the next year and a half I will be in an environment where I have to interact a lot with a certain LIE.
I appreciate her a lot and even admire her in a few ways, however I noticed that there's been a lot of hidden resentment growing within me towards her. Before I even knew what supervision was, I noticed I never feel fully (psychologically) comfortable around her, there's always this tension inside of me, I'm always slightly on edge. And now, it seems like I keep greedily taking note of when she has a slip up or messes up. and just now I was reading descriptions of LIEs just to find more flaws in her! In fact right now it's a big effort to restrain myself and not write three paragraphs on why I dislike her! I know it's so bad..
In fact, it feels even worse because she's always been so nice to me, in particular. I can be very quiet and shy, while she is extremely social, and she always (really, without fail) makes sure to include me in things, which I appreciate a lot. (even though she kinda does that for everyone to some extent) When I really think about it, it seems like she's always been making little efforts to try and get closer to me in her own way- it's just that I've never been super responsive and chosen to close the gap between us, for obvious reasons. So, well, it makes me feel quite bad. She tries so hard in her own way and has been nothing but nice, and I'm just being so unfair to her.
Sometimes when I get into a particularly positive and social mood, I tell myself I'm going to make more of an effort, and I for once initiate something with her (be it a conversation or whatever), but then as quickly as it comes it leaves, and I really want nothing more to do with her.
Also, like I said, for the next year and a half I am stuck having to talk and socialize with her every day (well, when corona goes away) as we are in a small school and small class of 20 and she is a part of our friend group (when we're a class she sticks with us because her closer friends are in another class, but they are doing a different program so she can only stay with them during lunchtime or after school and stuff).
Thanks for your advice. Is there any way I can relax in her presence. Or is, at least according to Socionics, our relationship doomed to stay this way. And please do tell what is your own personal experience in this supervision pair?
Maybe our incompatibility is exacerbated by her personality in particular (beyond socionics) because there aren't any other LIEs in my life that I interact with enough to tell.