Originally Posted by
Nicozeyo
So, I have news...
First of all, thanks for your answers. I like the fact that some of you bring to my attention that ILI and ESI are two negativist. It makes sense on some levels.
My ESI coach became in the last two month grumpy (since the incident in my initial post). Each time, I find him weird about extraverted thinking subject (which is logic because he's ESI and I'm ILI), more details :
- I wanted to buy a training bike around christmas, so I sent him few picks and said "What do you think ?". He didn't have really an opinion and just said "Nicolas, I'm a coach, not a bike seller." My understanding is that he could have an opinion about sport equipment or anyway being more qualified than myself because he is a big jock. Ultimately, I found him very agressive. I know he wasn't really agressive but the wording is very strange to me. I just wanted an opinion and he showed signs of boredom. I didn't really take it because I knew he is ESi so I just minded to myself that he has a poor Te.
- I finally buy this training bike and use it few weeks later. I wanted to make a "report" with raw data to him. Because, like a already said : he is the coach. So, I wrote a message with information about distance, speed, etc. He answered me "Hello, it would be nice already." Indeed, I didn't write "Hello" at the beginning of my message (for the first time in 6 months of coaching).
So, I clearly thought that he was overeacting this time. Once again, I said to myself "He has a tiny Te, ignore it."
(It is important to know that I didn't see him physically since the session that I described in my first post because he was busy with formations).
- Then comes the last session in early january, I did the session and sent him that everything was okay. He just answered me "Good, same exercices next week". It was the first time that he didn't change anything in a session program. I adressed him this point and tell him that it was awkward to me to pay him for doing the exact same thing. He take one day to think about it and tell me that he didn't change his mind. I told to myself "It is okay, he takes time to think. Nevermind." So, I sent him "Okay, I'll do it even if you are insolent". If only I knew what will happened next...
He was annoyed and said things like "I'm the coach, you are not. I have reflected on the session and I am keeping my commitments to you. Now you are denigrating my work." I was kinda surprised because we were always kinda playful to each other until this moment. I said him it was playful, he didn't understand and find my attitude rude (maybe "rude" is a bit too intense but it's the idea). I told him during this conversation that "the relation isn't just a coach-student relation", keep this point in mind, it's important.
At this point, I was done. I was tanking his weak communication skills since five weeks. For example, he never told me anything about what I explained in my first post despite I asked him many times to tell me what he thought of the situation, he just said things like "when we will see physically"/"it's not important"/"I don't want to be misunderstood" which I found very confusing because I wanted to told him about this point physically but he wanted that I tell him by message, so I did. And when he finally read my explanation, he said "I'll tell you my answer when we will see each other next time." I was : "?!?"
So, as I said, I was done. I sent back a message where I talked about all the things I just wrote in this post. I told him that I find him very defensive with me. That the communication is clearly unbalanced. I did great efforts to explaining with him and he didn't bother to explain me the single thing I ever asked an explanation for.
He doesn't answer to this message. I finally sent a message today, after three weeks. And as I could have expected he said "Sorry, my message didn't go. I want to stop the coaching. Goodbye."
...
Obviously. I asked him "Why ?" And he said "Because, it's not a relation student-coach". I said to him "What do you mean, what happened ?" And he said "I just explained." And I don't know if you have already talk to this kind of person when you want specifics or facts and the person just say "No, I had explain everything." So, I make circle, I tried to have an explanation. They never came.
I don't want to be offensive because I like him but I had the impression to talk to a robot with pre-recorded sentence. He was uncapable to elaborate. He just reapeted himself again and again. Even now, my last message remains without answer. He dares answer "nothing bad" when I asked "What I did which was bad ?"
I'm sorry if this post is confusing. I can't believe that my coach that I trusted during 6 months with whom I was playful just dropped me like that without any explanation because I dare say "the relation isn't just student-coach" which was just a way (maybe clumsy) to point the fact that I like him, that's all.
I supposed this story will be a good lesson about trust and people I don't really know even if they seems nice.
I admit it, I'm sad. It's such a waste for nothing.