Originally Posted by
Ravash7
For me, it's kind of weird. She's extremely empathetic and caring, yet she can be really unsympathetic and demanding at times, as contrary as those two are. She can be 'controlling' to an extent, like whenever I say something or she wants me to do something, she can be extremely insistent on having me do it, like raising her voice super loud and gritting her teeth.
She can be very forceful, being pretty pushy to me sometimes, but she makes it a point to 'respect my boundaries and life goals' which sounds pretty Fi to be honest, which I appreciate, but it becomes meaningless for her not to push there, when she pushes on every little detail in my life like chores, doing things properly and correctly, etc. which really frustrates me. She is very moralistic, which can be okay sometimes, but often she sees me as mostly 'boundary-pushing' and seems to favor empathy and appreciativeness towards others, even if that ruins all the fun where nobody's humanity was even being infringed upon. I find that she does ruin my fun a lot, like I will try to do something fun in the house but then she will always say I'm being inappropriate, or I'm disrupting something in the house, or I'm making a mess of the house, or I'm being too loud, or whatever, and it becomes frustrating at times.
I love her, but we get in lots of fights sometimes, usually just involving chores mostly haha, but other times I find it hard to connect with her since we enjoy none of the same things and we have nothing in common. I appreciate her level of empathy, but her insistency on having things done a specific way and planning things out and having to watch my mouth all the time, reluctant to talk with them since they mostly talk about Fi stuff that I am not well-versed in at all, can leave me feeling pretty alienated. There was the impression of me there that I was introverted because I never really talked to them, when in reality I always tried to do things with them but they never had anything to do, always focusing on productivity and specific activities where you 'get to know each other' which doesn't make sense to me in my opinion.
I had an ILI friend, we had all of the same interests, but he acted a lot like my mom in that he would point out every factual inaccuracy of everything I was saying, routinely told me I didn't think things through, always told me that sometimes my jokes were just downright offensive, very moralistic and appreciative of personal relationships over just general moods, etc. He was a great guy and I'd probably still hang out with him, but that was my experience with him
Reply With Quote