ESI-IEI Benefit Relations (ISFj & INFp)

[FDG]

Nataly (IEI): I've been through these relations, married to an ESI man for 10 years. These relations were difficult for me for several reasons:
1) Total control over my actions and some minor things. For example, coming back from work 20 minutes late was met with stern "onslaught" to the point that it was impossible for me to stop by a cafe with a friend after work.
2) All my friends were considered to be almost like enemies - he needed all of my efforts, so what right did I have to get distracted away from him by my friends? As a result I started losing my friendships.
3) Harsh pressuring on the topics of: "Why so proud amidst your poverty" or "Why are you learning a foreign language? Instead of occupying with this nonsense you should come up with something that could actually earn some money."
4) In respect to his friends: "You are not a person of our circle, thus don't try to delve into matters that don't concern you." And in general: "I don't trust you."
5) His policy regarding our relationship: "How about you do your thing, and I'll do mine. "Us" is only for bed."
6) If I had some problems and referred to him for help and moral support, this would be his response: "First of all understand that these are your problems, so don't you dare to shout and cry in front of me, because I may not have patience with your hysterics and will "forcefully" put an end to them. When you have calmed down, I will tell you how you should behave to not get yourself into such stupid situations in the future."
Needless to say, after 10 years of such treatment my self-esteem has dropped to nothing. If you are ready to spend your life discussing your emotions without any emotion, if you consider that the closeness and intimacy of your relationships with your husband should be strictly regulated and "dosed", if you consider that everything you do should earn money or at least bring some material output, then this is the relationship for you. What's interesting is that as many new methods and technologies as the IEI offers to the ESI, the ESI doesn't appreciate them and doesn't accept advice coming from such a hapless in his or her eyes person. The ESI wants you to work through all these technologies and methods yourself.

Well, I don't believe that's a fair representation of ESI males, at all. Most of those I know are fairly easygoing people, meaning, they will never ever get in your face shouting orders or try to control you - at most they may try to "correct" you. Yep, they complain a lot, but you just have to show them some pictures of naked women or suggest them to go drink a beer and they'll stop.

From IEI's side, I think it's a very grave mistake to try to understand and compromise during a quarrel with a creative sensing type. Your aim should be to destroy them with logic during the first 2-3 quarrels, such that they won't quarrel anymore and the relationship can develop harmoniously afterwards, basically setting very clear boundaries as to what they can and what they can't say around you in an algorithmic way.