i started getting back into type recently both to help a fellow entp friend understand himself and others better, as well as to improve my current romantic relationship with an istp.

so i'm a female entp, and he's a male istp. my e is very weak, and i have even tested as an i in the past, though i am now confident that i am simply a weak e. he's not terrible strong on any part of his type, but he's not borderline either. the t is the weakest. i've read up on istp, and now that i understand it better, it's very, very much him.

so here is what is right with us. we share a similar sense of humor. we like similar music and enjoy going to the same rock shows. we both enjoy baseball. we both like to drink. we are both a little kinky. our physical chemistry is AMAZING. we both like exploring new things and meeting new people and learning and improving and stuff like that.

now for the challenges. he is so frigging sensitive about EVERYTHING! i had originally guessed that he was an isfp because of his sensitivity, but now i understand that istp has a rich inner emotional life, which he definitely does. he loves to tease people to the point of it being really mean, but no one minds because he's so cute and funny about it. but if i tease him even a little, he gets all bent out of shape. having a teasing, playful relationship is important to me, and i have told him this, but it's still a challenge at times. he has called me a jerk, a hussy, an asshole, a square, and all kinds of other things jokingly, and i guess entps just don't take things personally as much. long story short: he can dish it out AND he CAN take it, just not from me, his significant other.

the other thing is that sometimes he gets upset over stupid things and then literally pouts. sometimes we get through it easily because i tease him about pouting and refuse to leave him alone until he smiles and gets over it. sometimes, however, when i try to address what is really going on, he gets angry and then becomes defeatist. like sending emails where he argues vehemently that he has done nothing wrong whereas i have, and then by then end he says he doesn't care and why bother. that doesn't make me feel very good because i love him and i do care and i want us to figure out how to get along and not argue so much.

there was a time he was in a terrible mood from work and inadvertently taking it out on me. i asked if he wanted me to come over and he said he didn't care. then later on in the conversation i said basically, "i'd like to come over if you want me there, but if you don't want me there, i'm just going to stay home tonight." he paused a while and said, "you can come over." like he wouldn't admit that he wanted me to come over, because that would be admitting that he cares? and yet clearly he did care.

same thing when he's angry. i'll ask him what he's angry about and he will say nothing or something like he's hungry or whatever. then later the same day or the next day it will come out that he was upset about something i did the previous day. if he had just told me, i would have stopped or whatever, but he won't tell me. not to mention that he also gets mad at me when i ask him what he's mad about and i don't believe him when he says it's nothing. argh!

we have made some progress where i am supposed to tell him when he's being unreasonable by simply saying, "you're doing it again," rather than getting angry back at him. this was his idea, incidentally, and a pretty good one. can't argue with an istp, it seems! i have to just suggest things and let them sink in, and usually he comes around to my way of thinking.

as an entp, i need compliments and verbal reassurance. i have to ask for these from him, and he has gotten better about providing them from time to time. i also find that getting him tipsy is the best way to find out what he's really thinking and feeling - i just have to be careful not to have too much myself.

anyhoo, i would love to hear from other entp men and women who have dated/married an istp. (if you're an intp, that would probably work, too.) let me in on your secrets for success - thanks!