Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
3Te sub does sound intimidating even in theory lol. I usually get 1Ne sub when I test on sociotype.com, and there are aspects of both Fi and Ne sub description that apply and don't apply to me so - I though I am "close enough to the middle" and didn't really look further into subtypes...

interesting, one of the subtype theories says something like, if intuition is strengthened, then it's both of them and it ultimately takes away from sensation (in keeping with Jung's original theory about how types develop). So that's in line with what you are saying about PoLR yeah...but personally I feel like I have certain instances of being drawn to Ni things, just having a strong intuition that something is a certain way and believing in it, and other things I won't list here. But I have also been brought up in half Gamma NT family so I think that plays a role. I have wondered if Ne sub EII kinda gives NT vibes (which is mentioned in another subtype theory haha). Online I have gotten that a couple of times.

I thought perhaps I just haven't come across compatible duals but the roughness of weak Fi with LSEs can really rub me the wrong way/scare me sometimes. I thought I was just "sensitive."

Once I had a crush on an SLI (Si). It wasn't mutual but - I learned that I could trust someone, that it was possible to - like I have never before or even after. He would say the same things to me that I would find invalidating and triggering if it came from quite literally any other person but, from him, I somehow on a visceral level completely trusted him and it was never invalidating to me. The LSEs I meet, in contrast (mostly online) seem to rub me the wrong way. I can also be quite emotional once you do get to know me - it could be E4 or however we want to conceptualize it but - I am not truly stoic. But I am also scared but the potential of an LSE-Si being a little too irrational perhaps. For instance, the SLI-EII description...it mentions basically the SLI gets tired of the Fi and literally just starts tuning EII out, going on breaks by himself, and hurting her. Establishing psychological distance in that way.

I do not want someone who is bored by Fi, because Fi and seeking closeness - the closer the better - makes me happy and also fuels my sx so they are intertwined. I also cannot be with someone who kind of just...expects me to be random and funny much of the time. I can be quite serious honestly - my Ne more so manifests in theorizing (for which I get labeled NT lol).

edit: I wanted to explain this better. Fi HAs can get scared off by Fi, by my seeking closeness. But it doesn't mean it has to be literally 24/7. I just want someone I feel close to/one with even when I am not talking to him. And that when we do speak, the sense of closeness brings joy not strain or burden. .

But yeah that thing you said about LSE-Si using Se behind the scenes - I absolutely love it. That's how I imagine my potential SO. To be fair, even LSE-Tes tend to get softer around me - or likely will at least in person but - I feel so much more comfortable and myself with someone who uses Se behind the scenes as needed in a protective manner. I think the Te+Se thing I mentioned is sort of classic "Type A" personality with aggression and ambition combined which can tend to be a bit too much for me. I liked my SLI friend's Fi which was just enough to understand the level of gentleness I required and he in response treated me with care.

Regarding giving LSE-Te Fi help, I am not entirely sure what it looks like? So I do not know how much Fi help they would require. I guess I imagine LSEs as someone who do generally have quite good integrity themselves; they may just push it to the background a bit when over-concerned with a Te matter in the present. But mostly I imagine Fi "help" as helping them figure out their thoughts/feelings/attitudes and bring it to the consciousness (and the rest follows - including ethical behavior). Although I really don't mind giving them pointers on that, but like I said, if the Fi is too rough, it tends to scare me.

was? Did you guys end up not being compatible, if you don't mind me asking?
I’m a 1Ne sub, an ennea4 and an sx-lead too!!

It’s like I’m reading my own mind. I don’t get the opportunity to talk to other EIIs a lot so I’m just fangirling right now

I had a crush on an SLI-Si friend with whom it wasn’t reciprocal either. I also had an SLI-Si childhood best friend with whom I experienced that feeling of, man they just get it. We called each other kindred spirits, and I still think that holds true. But SLIs of the Si subtype do seem to get stifled by our Fi after a while. I’ve had people tell me that even when I try not to emphasize it, they can feel it lingering in the background. It’s a pity because otherwise it’s such a harmonious relation!

Yes, for real. I can quickly tell when there’s an LSE-Si around me just because the psychological atmosphere instantly settles, like a storm just suddenly clearing into a blue sky when you get into their presence. And I second what you said about LSE-Tes softening around us - after detailing my tumultuous dynamic with my uncle, I must admit even he is sometimes touched by my Fi. It can be really endearing.

With my LSE-Te romance, it was a sexuality issue...we had feelings for each other but he was in the closet before I came into the picture and did not want to commit to a woman. We shared passions and talents we’d never shared with others and we were always better together than apart. To me, he was my soulmate. But he started to take advantage of my loyalty to him in spite of knowing his situation, and I couldn’t continue. It was when we were over that he realized what my presence meant for him (duality-wise), but...it is what it is. He did teach me how beautiful duality can be, though.