What are ESTjs like in relationships? How do you express love?

[DirectorAbbie]

What are ESTjs like in relationships?
Loyal. I don't do short-term and am unable to have more than one fella on my mind at a time.

How do you express your love to him in a relationship?
The easiest way is to say it, though voicing it can be uncomfortable. An explanatory note should suffice. And I don't like to repeat myself. If I say something, assume it remains that way until I say otherwise.

How do you show you care?
Quality time. It's hard to show care, especially around males older than seven. I'll spend time with them, try to do things for them, feed them, basically offer up my . (I offer to anyone.)

Being from the Delta Quadra, do you guys view those from the other quadras as being immature?
No. Maturity is not quadra-related. LIIs are much more mature than IEEs. I like the stability of Deltas, the fun of Alphas, the fascination of Gammas, and the distance of Betas.

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

the distance is supposed to be a good thing?

[DirectorAbbie]

the distance is supposed to be a good thing?

Lol. That means I prefer to be around Alphas, Deltas, and/or Gammas to being around Betas.

[UDP]

What are ESTjs like in relationships?
Loyal. I don't do short-term and am unable to have more than one fella on my mind at a time.

How do you express your love to him in a relationship?
The easiest way is to say it, though voicing it can be uncomfortable. An explanatory note should suffice. And I don't like to repeat myself. If I say something, assume it remains that way until I say otherwise.

How do you show you care?
Quality time. It's hard to show care, especially around males older than seven. I'll spend time with them, try to do things for them, feed them, basically offer up my . (I offer to anyone.)

Pretty much 100% agreement.

Being from the Delta Quadra, do you guys view those from the other quadras as being immature?
No. Maturity is not quadra-related. LIIs CAN BE much more mature than IEEs. I like the stability of Deltas, the fun of Alphas, the fascination of Gammas, and the distance of Betas.

Minor changes, but pretty much Yeah.
On the whole I don't like betas, although I find affable and mature betas to be valuable group members, and I value betas that I really trust in terms of their personal values. Best example of this is one IEI I know who is very cool. We know we are about as different as can be - he's even gay. But he sees things that I don't see and we have a workable friendship - I think this is really because we both value each others personal values. He's very kind and generous, and I'm accepting of him and his unusualness, and forthright in showing appreciation and even protection of him at times.

But I suppose that does fit into 'distance', in terms of overall things. I can talk business with this really strong SLE female fairly well - for another example - but again, that's more one on one; I feel uneasy around her in certain social or group situations because of how she likes to do certain things / her idea of 'fun'. So I suppose, hm, a more accurate way to put things for me is that I enjoy Betas, so long as the atmosphere isn't predominantly beta, and especially if it's one on one or more small-group oriented.

[Minde]

yup, I agree. I just had a huge fight with my SLI bf over the weekend, except he wasn't aware we were fighting. He was fine, which kinda diffused everything, and it ended up working out fine. Then we laughed about my one-sided fight, that he wasn't aware of.

Lol, my sister (ENFp) who is dating a (I think) ISTp has done that before. I advised her to just calmly bring up what she was concerned about and get his perspective on it, which ended up working out just fine. But it's kind of funny how she had that same thing, where she had as you put it a one-sided fight with him. Her danger is, though, that she'll be mad about things but not broach the subject with him for fear of rocking the boat. ...Come to think of it, I can have that same problem, though perhaps to a lesser degree...

As for ESTjs expecting or wanting doormats - I think that theoretically that wouldn't be the case. If anything, I'd expect the caregiver to take on that role a little more, with the infantile being the more demanding or picky one. Though, I suppose that the roles could trade back and forth. Often I find myself trying to care for someone.

[Marie84]

As for ESTjs expecting or wanting doormats - I think that theoretically that wouldn't be the case. If anything, I'd expect the caregiver to take on that role a little more, with the infantile being the more demanding or picky one. Though, I suppose that the roles could trade back and forth. Often I find myself trying to care for someone.

A few LSE's that I've been close enough to get to know have said that they want a partner who will stand-up to them when they're going too far and to be honest with them, even if it's not what they want to hear.
I'm guessing this is subconscious need they have to know how to gauge relational boundaries as well as to help them develop into the people they want to be (ethically)

Though it'd be interesting to know if this is a universal desire or maybe just a matter of preference...