From the wikisocion description,

The relationship usually progresses smoothly, but it depends on how close the partners are, what terms the relationship started on, and which of the two leads the relationship (usually the older, more experienced partner.)
According to Filatova, the one in charge is important - if it is the more positive of the two, or the one more that is more of a natural psychologist, then the relation will run smoothly.

In your experience of mirage relations where both individuals are on equal footing (similar age, position..) who was the one leading the relationship?

Maybe it just depends on NTR-personality factors. With one ILE i clearly do the leading, but i sense it may not be the case with all.
It probably also depends on depth of relationship.