Ave does a questionnaire

[Ave]

What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?

I'm kind of in between two potential occupations right now. IT technician and actor. I like them both, but acting is my dream.

I like IT because I get to solve problems for people and get to use my mind + hands simultaneously.

I'm good at doing impersonations of people, making them laugh, entertaining my friends. I get inside someone's head and, on the basis of my own personal experiences, imagine what a character in a play or film would be feeling in a given situation, (supposing I have lived such situations before myself), and thus evoke the emotions in my own psyche. I am constantly told I am good at acting too, and I think wasting potential is sad, so I want to go for it and make a career out of it.

The lifestyle that comes along with acting is something I enjoy too - I hate going to work and having my day planned out for me the same way, day after day. Too many rules stifles me as well, and most "conventional" workplaces have lots of them.

What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?

These days I'm unemployed, so I'm kinda twiddling my thumbs unfortunately. The current lockdown situation in Belgium makes it so that there isn't much to do anyways. I go on the internet, listen to music, come on these forums and chat with people over social media.

I'm interested in the "occult", not gonna lie. As a hobby I like to lift weights, I like to be in shape and challenge myself to lift more and more on the compound lifts, even if my numbers are nothing record breaking it's a challenge I pose to myself. I can't lift weights for the moment though because gyms are closed. I also listen to music, I like music that evokes deep feelings, a mix of melancholy and excitement, for example new wave, darkwave, synthpop. I also like music that is layered, industrial for example. I listen to alot of other styles too, it depends on my mood. I like to read, fiction and non-fiction. I like fiction that stimulates the imagination, for example, horror, sci fi, heroic fantasy.

What are your values, and why?

Authenticity, integrity, being true to self, respect for others, reciprocity, being oneself, kindness

I think my values are what it takes to get along with others in a dignified fashion, though I am not saying they are in any means complete in that regard.

Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?

I value stability and reliability in my relations, I can't stand people going in and out of my life, it makes me feel used and toyed with.

With my family, I find the older members more reliable and "there" for me. The younger people are not there unfortunately, I want to see my brother more for example, same with my cousins, but they're all so busy with their little lives, never call, or probably even think of me. Such is life.

I have quiet a few lifelong friends. I admire their loyalty, and the fact they stuck with me all this time. I like spending good moments with friends, just goofing around and talking about recent experiences.

What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?

I like someone I can have fun with, but also someone reliable. Those qualities are a rare mix it seems.

What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?

Pass/NA

What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?

Imagination, being able to impersonate others, entertaining them, picking up subtleties in music also. Those are my strengths. I'm also decent at interpreting symbolism and dreams, if I want to, though usually I find this kinda useless.

I'm not sure what it is people like about me. Maybe I entertain them well? I like that I'm curious and imaginative, have a sense of integrity, have a sense of humor and can express myself. I like that I can impress others through my appearance, if I want to, though sometimes I just neglect it, which is something I am working on, being more attentive to how I present myself and take care of myself. Not that I'm neglected but sometimes I let myself go a bit too much before realizing it.

What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?

I think I have trouble maintaining stable relations with others. I get angry too easily.

I think I pressure others too much in relationships, as much as I try not to.

I dislike that I can't just let go and be detached, in my personal relationships. I can't be indifferent to others, even if I pretend I am. I wish I could turn off my reactivity and hypersensitivity, if I wanted to.

In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?

Not sure. I like to see myself as autonomous and not needing help, I hate asking for it on a regular basis. I'm not autonomous though, but I am blind to this question as I need to think more about it.

I guess, upon reflection, I am very self-aware and yet noone is self-aware to the point of having to ignore others feedback, if they were they'd probably not be self-aware at all, but blind.

I don't know how to answer this question.

What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?

I dislike doing chores around the house but I can be ok with it if I don't have to do them constantly. I dislike administrative tasks.

I like listening to music, because I can just let my mind go and daydream, think, etc. Lifting weights makes me energetic.

What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?

That's what I'm currently trying to work out.

I guess I would like to meet someone to settle down with and even have children, as normal as that sounds. It would be nice, with the right person.

If you won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore, what would you do?

I'd be bored because the challenge of doing something with my life would be gone. I guess I would rot in my corner...why would anyone want to win a lottery? It's a trap.

What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?

I like people who say crazy, outlandish things. I like people who like the unusual. Nerdiness is cute sometimes.

I am annoyed by excessive concern as much as by being ignored.

What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?

I don't do much, really. My room and house are kinda bland, usually I try to keep it clean and ordered but even that type of upkeep can get tiring. I have a couple accessories that stand out from the white walls in my room.

In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?

I felt the happiest with my first girlfriend as a teenager, as well as with a recent encounter I had with a girl. I guess I feel best when in a relationship with someone, but not just anyone. I've happy with very few people (two to be exact) on a romantic level. Not even sure it was equally requited the second time.

How do you behave around strangers?

Depends. On my mood, first of all. If I'm feeling gloomy, I'll minimize interaction. In a good mood, I'll joke around and try to establish contact. I enjoy the contact with certain strangers and keep a memory of them usually. It also depends on how I feel the person to be.

How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?

Again, it depends alot on my mood and state of "readiness". I usually try to and stay reasonable and not counterattack too much to avoid things escalating, in a dispute; however if things reach a point of no return, and I am feeling attacked, I can use strong verbal attacks. It's hard to get me to be physically aggressive though. I've only been in two fights in my life, and tried to minimize contact, though I never actually lost, and won once.

Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.

It happens often. Often it's caused by having alot of things to do at once and not being able to break those tasks down into smaller tasks so to take things step by step - I see it as a mountain. Usually, I try to make lists but I can be lazy and sometimes don't really feel like doing this - but this is the best solution. Making lists, and breaking the tasts down into smaller tasks, visualizing how I will do it and feeling in my body how much energy I have in reserve to execute those tasks.

Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?

Probably not. Because then that would be my whole life, and I want freedom, not being tied down to a business I need to take care of. Plus I'm not overly interested in making money for its own sake. I like money of course, but calculating profits is not my thing.

How do you dress or manage your appearance?

Usually, I keep it simple and down to earth, with jeans or shorts and t shirt, hoodie, sweater, etc. I like to combine the aforementioned things with a fancier jacket for example. I like having a striking presence. I like dark tones, too, and people who wear them, so I try to look the same. Sometimes I can also wear white t shirts, but ones that have logos and designs. One girl I dated said my t shirts were something.

What were you like as a child? How have you changed since then?

I was very introverted and liked to read alot, daydream etc. I liked to remember my dreams. I was into science.

I think I became much more extroverted as a teenager and as an adult. Science was replaced by philosophy in my late teens, twenties. But now I'm re-discovering science, which is nice in a way.

Do you like kids? Why or why not?

I guess. It depends on the kid. Some have really nasty personalities and others are really kind. Kinda like adults. Usually I like them more than I dislike them.

If you are doing a video you can stop here and/or choose from the rest of the questions as you like.

How do you feel about attention? Do you seek it out?

I like attention, yeah. I do kinda, I think that's apparent by my answers up until now - entertaining friends, impersonating others etc.

How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?

I don't see responsibility as absolute, but once you accept a responsility, it's on you. Changing after that point would be, for lack of a better word, wrong. I expect honesty and openness in communication. If you don't want to see me for now, at least tell me. Don't keep me guessing.

If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what approach would you take, and why?

I would be concerned they would get bullied in school. That social media would turn their minds into mush. That they would not adapt well to an adult life and that they would make mistakes, and yes, I know people have to make their own mistakes.

What is your biggest accomplishment?

Pass

What was (or is) your high school experience like?

Pass, this was so long ago.

What is something you regret?

Pass

Who do you admire, and why?

I admire people who keep going in life and stay true to themselves and their values despite pressure to change.

What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?

A failed relationship with someone I really liked. I've also been finding the lockdown painful. I've been a bit depressed the past few weeks, for these reasons.

What are your spiritual or religious beliefs and why do you hold them?

I don't really have any "beliefs", I like to study different teachings, for example Fourth Way. I also like to study various symbol systems.

What are your political beliefs, and why? To what extent do you care about politics?

I don't care too much about politics. I used to be libertarian, but now am pretty much a centrist. I want government to provide for healthcare that's something I care about, also, freedom of speech. I think politics should mostly be something that fades into the background noise of society's other activities - things like free speech and freedom of religion allow us to live our lives with less interference, but in themselves aeren't guarantees for happiness. Happiness comes from other things, but requires from as a prerequisite.

What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?

I want some flexibility, I don't want to feel like I have no freedom at work. I want things to be a challenge and to be respected in that I don't need to be watched in order to make sure I'm falling in line.

I also need to get along with collegues. I can't stand a toxic environement, and it scares me to think of future work environments being that way.

What is or was your favorite school subject and why?

Theatre I had fun in and was good at, but some of the drama kids were cunts. Biology I did good in.

What is one common misconception that people have about life? Explain why it is wrong.

People let others tell them what is "out there" without experiencing it themselves. People read holy books and watch self-help videos and try to explain life through theories but those theories are someone's else take on their experiences, not yours. Live life for yourself and draw your own conclusions, don't ever take it from someone else.

Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?

I went to the Belgian coast, mostly just trying to get away from daily life and change sceneries. It was alright, kinda calm and boring because I was alone, which is kidna what I wanted but also I got bored because I had no activities planned.

Talk about a significant event from your life.

No that's a bit too personal.

How do you see other people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.

People just want to work for money and don't question whether the current system is really the best for them. They think's normal, just money money money. They don't see work as something that can also bring self-development and fullfillment.

I guess those other people just don't really care if work is fullfilling or not.

What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?

I tend to really like Einsetin's quote "insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, and expecting a different result". I don't really have one single approach to getting what I want. If one thing doesn't work, I'll try another. I don't keep butting my head into the wall hoping it will break before my skull does.

Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?

Leadership roles are not easy, especially managing a group. Different people often don't like each other, you have to manage tensions without taking sides, even if you want to sometimes. You sometimes have to take decisions some people don't like. Even if you want to please everyone, it is impossible, and you (or at least your actions) will always be criticized.

How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?

I used to get angry alot more often than I do today. I would get upset at little things, things people did or said. Now I control my anger more but I can be reactive nonetheless.

Lack of accountability in personal relations makes me angry. Like if we're planning to do something together, and something has come up that you have to change your plans, tell me asap. Don't wait til I ask you for confirmation, be correct and tell me. That is one thing that didn't work out in my last relationship, I felt a lack of personal accountability there on her part, and she didn't care to hear me out on this issue.

What is one unusual trait or ability you possess? What makes you special?

I can impersonate really well, like I said above.

What is your sense of humor like? Do you joke around a lot?

Yes. I tend to joke by mimicking others's behavior, but usaully when they are not around in the group unless I am sure they would be cool with it. If I'm attracted to someone, I'll poke fun at her on occasion to see her reaction, but only if I know she'll react well. I also play practical jokes, on occasion: back in Vegas they would give out these stripper directories on the strip, I cut out a picture of a male stripper in his towl and put in my (straight) friend's backpack so it would show. He took it well.

Your friend bursts into tears. What do you do? How does it make you feel?

I would just listen and see what have to say before doing anything. I might not feel anything at first, but depending on what it is, I might be very moved or not so much.

What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?

Not much has happened during the week.

What is the worst thing that happened to you during the past week?

See above

What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?

I think that is for the each of us to decide individually, on our own terms.

I find feeling emotionallty connected to all the stuff I've lived in the past to be meaningful. It's hard to explain, because we're talking something very personal that cannot be translated into something universal, except through abstraction (in which case it loses something)

What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?

I've been to alot of places, not sure what I'd consider the most interesting. I think travelling and moving around as a child and teenager helped me to see that not everyone thinks the same way everywhere you go, that people think the way they do largely because of their environments, and yet think "this is the way it is". It isn't.

Do you like surprises?

Depends on whether they are good or bad surprises.