Decisive types and relaxing

[grumpyvic81]

What is some advice to relax for a decisive type?
I'm a generally neurotic personality, and when my mind gets very excited and stressed it disrupts my sleep a lot.

Most of the time I am able to get myself to relax after being "mobilized" for a while, but right now, I'm about to go to bed and there is so much I need to do this weekend and my mind is already going over it all even though normally I'd just not think about it until it comes (when I'm relaxed. but i've been in a stressed state recently). I would even stay up late to get a start on everything, but I know that wouldn't be good for me because what I actually need right now is to relax, catch up on sleep, and not be working. I just wanna relax right now Well, that's just an example.

I'd like advice on how to deal with this in general for future times too. thanks.

Idk if this is type dependent ...

Figure out what causes the extra stress/pressure, first. And then deal with that issue head-on, to decrease the pressure.

Do not stay up uncomfortably late just to get a start on stuff. This would be ok only as a one-off thing/temporary, and only if you wouldn't be able to finish on time otherwise - is not to be done as regular practice. Esp if you are already stressed, don't do it.

Just find some anchor(s) that you find usually gets you relaxed and structure your day right, i.e. decide consciously that you are done for the day at a specific time, you can stop everything non-urgent in the middle even, because it's time to go relax and rest. Generally keep your evenings free, the hours before you go to bed, just use these hours to wind down, relaxing or doing other fun activities that keep your mind free of stress. Alone or with others. It's ok if the relaxing is hard to get into right away. Just give yourself time to wind down is the idea. And you don't even have to focus on it too consciously.

i really like how you focus a lot on soothing your body in order to soothe your mind.

Tbh I find anxiety about things that put you under pressure won't get resolved for long by trying to soothe your body. What works is dealing with the issue head-on. Maybe this is individual but this is how it is for me.

This really helps too to not get overwhelmed by tasks. I started doing this in the form of a notebooks/journals. It has to be the right size, paper, texture / colour of the cover lol, I'm very picky about it and I basically learned this from an EII friend, and it's actually the only way it works for me. I just note everything down as detailed as possible (sometimes unnecessarily redundant), even if sometimes a bit chaotic and then I have to restructure it again. I buy as many of them as necessary. Post-its / computer docs / smartphone apps don't really work for me, otherwise they would be great too. Sometimes I forget about them and go back to being disorganised, but then I find them lying on my table and I realise I have to get back to structure my tasks etc when I'm in a phase where I'm again stressed out by external stuff / scattered.

I'm thinking for me envisioning the future is what gets chaotic lately and needs restructuring all the time. It used to be fine but I made too many changes I think. It's ok I do the restructuring on my own in my head (no journals or notebooks), I just then get scattered again and have to get back to it again and so on.

I am strange because if it’s like, schoolwork, I’m inclined to procrastinate and bust it all out at once, and do quite well at it despite extremely stressing myself out. With errands and the like I feel a NEED to get it done immediately and I can’t wait or it will just press on my mind.

What are you stressed out about with the schoolwork? The errands stuff sounds Se creative to me

[thegreenfaerie]

It’s just stressful because I wait until the last minute and then I’m cramming it all at once. I perform well in this manner though.

[lynn]

It’s just stressful because I wait until the last minute and then I’m cramming it all at once. I perform well in this manner though.

I did the same, but I guess I had to learn the slow and painful way that this mentality didn't serve me well, and it's sometimes better to perform worse and keep the stress level low. I still have to remind myself constantly, and it's not always working, but even a bit of stress has proven to be so bad for my health in the long run, it's not really worth it. But in my case, it's easy for me to get stressed / not easy to calm down again (not mentally, but physically). Maybe it's easier for you to get back into balance.

[grumpyvic81]

I did the same, but I guess I had to learn the slow and painful way that this mentality didn't serve me well, and it's sometimes better to perform worse and keep the stress level low. I still have to remind myself constantly, and it's not always working, but even a bit of stress has proven to be so bad for my health in the long run, it's not really worth it. But in my case, it's easy for me to get stressed / not easy to calm down again (not mentally, but physically). Maybe it's easier for you to get back into balance.

For studying and other intellectually demanding jobs, or tasks otherwise requiring a lot of attention and details, I find it depends on how big the job/material is, as far as whether it's ok to wait until last minute or space it out more evenly over days/weeks. If it only takes a full day of intense working at it then I'm better off waiting until the last day because the end result will still be quality enough that way and I'll have saved time with working more intensely on it.

But yah if it is more than one day of intense working at it, then better off breaking it up over more days. And part of the reason is what you mention, beyond quality of the work suffering, your health will suffer too, both physically and mentally-psychologically (yeah physically too if you keep up such a habit long enough).