View Poll Results: ITR you've seen result in abuse/DV

Voters
9. You may not vote on this poll
  • Conflict

    1 11.11%
  • Supervisor as Abuser

    3 33.33%
  • Supervisee as Abuser

    1 11.11%
  • Benefactor as Abuser

    1 11.11%
  • Beneficiary as Abuser

    0 0%
  • Super-ego

    2 22.22%
  • Mirage

    0 0%
  • Business

    0 0%
  • Semi-Duality

    0 0%
  • Identical

    1 11.11%
  • Quasi-Id

    1 11.11%
  • Contrary

    0 0%
  • Kindred

    0 0%
  • Mirror

    2 22.22%
  • Activity

    0 0%
  • Duality

    1 11.11%
Multiple Choice Poll.
Results 1 to 40 of 82

Thread: Most Common ITR in DV/Abusive Relationships? [TRIGGER WARNING]

Threaded View

  1. #11
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    16,842
    Mentioned
    1603 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Shytan View Post
    Do you think IEEs are unfaithful?
    No, I don't think that IEE's are unfaithful, exactly. But they do have loads of Ne, which to me is the essence of alternate actions and never coming to a final conclusion, which, I think, can be dangerous to most relationships.

    I know four IEE's, all woman, ranging from decades of interaction time to hours. They are:

    1. My SLI ex-wife's sister, an IEE-Ne. She was married to an LSE for a while and had two kids, then left him because he was a "conservative asshole". Next, she had an asshole lawyer for a BF for many years. I don't know his type, but I remember that I didn't particularly like him. Then, she married an EII who worked as a truck driver and a photographer and a preacher and really is waiting to find out what he wants to do. She doesn't complain about him, but it doesn't seem like it's the best situation for either of them.

    2. An IEE-Fi. She is married to an ILE and has two kids and she can't wait to get out of the marriage and has asked me how to find an SLI-Te, since she met my son and father and they are both SLI-Te's. She isn't cheating on the ILE, but she's disappointed that he never "grew up". And man, is she ever ready for a new man.

    3. An IEE-Fi woman I know from work. She is married to an archaeology professor whom she complains about sometimes, but she does not find him problematic enough to seriously look elsewhere. She does spend all her spare time at work talking with a divorced SLI-Si guy.

    4. An IEE who works at my father's nursing home. I was encouraging her to talk to my SLI father more (because they'd both benefit) and I was telling her what kind of guy I thought she'd like. I described an SLI. She listened, and then said that that a guy like that sounded better than any of her previous husbands.

    The dynamic that I've seen between SLI's and IEE's is that the SLI does his own thing; carpentry, car repair, saving money for a rainy day, while basically ignoring women. Absolutely ignores them in any observable romantic sense. He might be a total gentleman and act towards women with great consideration, but he's not going to take any action. I've asked my SLI son how he feels about women, and he said that most of them are trouble. He's not gay, incidentally. He's just discerning and holds his cards very close to his chest.
    The IEE has to break through these defenses. Her strategy is randomness and the unexpected, including what seem to be overt sexual offers. She might do this with every guy, BUT, if the guy responds in any way except by being inert, she shuts him down and then forever ignores him. That sexiness act is a filter for SLI's.

    The IEE has to be pretty over-the-top and keep hammering away at the SLI. Otherwise, she just won't get through. The SLI has to be stable (to counter her randomness) and a Guardian-Caregiver to her Infantile, and he has to just ignore her Ne 95% of the time or he'd go crazy. The SLI lives in terror that his life is going to be terminally boring and the IEE's randomness relieves that fear, but a little goes a long way.

    The SLI is going to be dead stable and seemingly disinterested, and the IEE is going to jump at every rabbit, but will avoid other hunters and will only force a guy to accept her presence if he's a genuine SLI (assuming she knows what she needs - which usually takes her some amount of experimenting).

    So to answer your question, No, I don't think that IEE's are more unfaithful than other types. I do think that they can LOOK like they are looking, possibly as a test for SLI-ness, and possibly as a result of jumping at the wrong rabbit and now they have to start over with another rabbit.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 04-11-2020 at 12:45 AM.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •