the flaming questionnaire
Damn thing won’t let me unbold my answers so I’m underlining them!
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
I’m currently out of school and have been taking a (so far) one and a half “gap year”. Until I’m mentally and financially more available to get back into it. I don’t have a job either at the moment because I have a bad tendency to get fired.But I’ve come to realize only in the past couple months my true destiny on this earth; I want to be a therapist! It took me longer than my peers to find it out because I was extremely picky in what I wanted to do as a career and was seemingly dissatisfied with every idea I had. Personally, I don’t really believe in therapy and I’ve had several therapists with little success. I do like my current one, though. But then it hit me that it’s not the coping mechanisms or the bullshit worksheets they give you in group therapy - it’s the human connection and the premise of having a sort of mentor guide you along the way. The more you talk the less you’d want to do something stupid in reaction to the bad things.
What are your values, and why?
My values are flexible and reflect to what’s in my environment. Ex. if everyone I’m surrounded by is doing illegal things then I feel like it’s not bad or even GOOD and will partake. But I do have some basic, stable values that lean on the liberal side. I will leave that to your interpretation because I don’t like to shove it down someone’s throat but if we’re talking in a group it’s easier to speak on it.
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
I spend a lot of time listening to music in my alone time. I don’t normally have a lot of free time because I have an addiction to hanging out with people, preferably a loud and rowdy group where I’m free to do and say anything. But I enjoy intimacy with one person if we really click otherwise I feel awkward because I have to water down my natural personality.I like to watch movies with my mom or go on walks in the park with her or my sister. I also enjoy video games and rarely a good book when my attention span allows it. I love to talk and can spend hours blabbering but I will listen just as well and give good advice and enjoy doing so. I feel like I need a clear place in society and prefer being high up in the food chain.
Describe your relations with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
My relationship with my family is complicated and always has been. I’ve always been hyperactive since I popped my head out of my mom’s coochie and got into a lot of trouble for not sitting still and being disobedient. But I had a side of me that was opposite - perfectionist and shy and easily driven to tears. I liked to do things to make my family and authority praise me and I recall being called a “good kid” by my dad once, and several grown ups always saying I was smart beyond my years - debatable, haha. I was extremely close to my mom and decently close to the rest of my family and I loved their liberal views and I think my parents are very brave for having a forbidden marriage and escaping war. But, my mom was also abusive and my dad was extremely distant and my sister was always expressing anger and I was left without a voice, essentially. Which could explain why I’m the way I am now.I adored my friends and I have friendships that have lasted several years and I’ve always had my own clique. In middle and high school this was particularly amplified; I hung out with the rebels and had a seething hatred for “popular” kids. By the end of high school I WAS one of the popular kids.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
I look for people who express affection. I look for people with undying loyalty and a sense of humor that can match mine. I look for people who will go along with all my plans and tolerate my irritability.In romance, I need someone who I can spend hours talking with and never get bored; someone who I can swap emotions with and reveal our deepest secrets with each other.
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
I’ve encountered conflict most recently with my family for invading my private time (when I’m locked in my room or the bathroom it’s for a reason!) I’ve repeated my wishes with them over and over again with no avail. I’m a very extroverted person and spend 90% of my time outside of home when I have the option to, so when I finally come back to the nest I need my rest. (Thank you for your influence, Dr. Seuss.) Generally, other than that, I get shit for being “selfish” or “self absorbed”.
How would your friends describe you?
Hilarious, cute, dramatic, big heart, flirtatious, honest... etc.
What do people generally see as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I think they see me as fearless. I think my other strengths are pretty obvious in my other answers so I will refrain from repetition. I like my ability to make others open up!
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
I think my weaknesses are staying organized and listening to my head rather than my heart - two major things in life that I must learn. I am criticized for being uncaring even though I care more than the average person - because I am outspoken and will ignore your protests of me being insensitive.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
I can manage self reflection and analysis and connecting to the human spirit very well. But I need help organizing my inside and outside world. I need help in toning down my histrionic leanings.
What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?
I absolutely hate mindless paperwork and sitting down for too long unless I’m replenishing myself with art, etc. I seem to enjoy people a lot more than others do!
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future? How did you come to have them?
Read above.
If you had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life without working, what would you do with your time?
I would spend my time traveling the world and experiencing every culture it has to offer and seeing how different people in one place are to another. I would wear glamorous outfits and make guest appearances in nightclubs and mansion parties and indulge in the vices and powers I secretly yearn for. I would help people worse off than me. I would give back to my family for many years of painstaking work with no results.
What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
It’s hard to think of an answer for the first one because I unconsciously appreciate so many things from other human beings lol. Maybe kindness? Assertion. Humor. But it’s much easier to point out what I HATE. Being stubborn, haughty, serious. But the NUMBER ONE thing I loathe is the “I’m different and special” attitude. No thanks.
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)? What do you think of daily chores?
I hardly care or notice enough for it, but I have a framed black and white picture of a chicken behind a fence that I took myself in my room. I have a lava lamp. That’s about it. I don’t like chores and mostly never do them until I absolutely must. I struggle with mundane routine. If I’m spending days inside the house I will neglect my hygiene but I will hyper focus on my appearance if I’m spending days outside the house.
How do you behave around strangers?
I might be just a touch more shy, but I ramp up my comedian side to attract them and I will give more compliments than usual.
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
I’m going straight for your throat, bitch! I’m serious. My words will hurt so much that I won’t need to get physical and I never have lol. I can be sensitive to insults but I try not to show or if it’s really bad I will cry in private. I do not back down from conflict and I actually enjoy it.
What is one common misconception that people have about things? Explain why it is wrong.
I think they have a common misconception that things will always be the same. Things have never been the same throughout my life - even take this year as an example: the start and the end of 2019 feel like different decades! It’s wrong because it will lead you to being stuck in the same place and become a self fulfilling prophecy.
What did you do last Friday?
I have no memory.
What is your biggest accomplishment?
Probably saving myself, to be honest.
What is something you regret?
I regret tearing myself apart over other people and wasting some years of my life in the void, basically.
Who do you admire, and why?
I admire strong willed people with a stable mood in comparison to mine. I love people who will correct me on things or show me another way of thinking, but in a much more rational way than me. I love people who will submit to my plans.
What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
It’s 10 A.M. my mind is blank. I know there must be some problem or concern but frankly I’ve been much happier with myself and my life lately, enough to avoid whatever that is. I think I could be worried about motivating myself to take the steps I need to further my life, however.
What are your religious or spiritual beliefs and why do you hold them?
I don’t believe in a god but I am spiritual and feel that there is a strong force of nature and humanity that binds us together in this shithole of a planet. I hold it because I believe I’ve experienced telepathy and there are too many things that can’t be just a coincidence.
What are your political beliefs, and why? To what extent do you care about politics?
Liberal. I enjoy protests but generally I’m so involved with other things in my life that I don’t spend much time on politics.
Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
Probably not; I would fail at finances and practicality. But if I were in a business I would thrive in a social role, or maybe being a clothes model, or in advertising, etc. I would be good at running meetings and presenting information.
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
I prefer a work environment with a tight knit group of coworkers that feel like a second family, which I’ve had in the past.
What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
My favorite was anything language arts in which I excelled. I loved to express myself and my imagination in writing. I loved to read. I loved to gain insights from it. I have a math learning disability on the other side of the coin.
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
I see it as something that is a necessary evil for others but not necessary for myself. I expect others to take care of it for me without me asking or noticing, which is where people get the “selfish” idea of me from, lol. But if I’m asked to do something I will, normally, even if late.
Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
I haven’t been on vacation since 2003, I’m poor.
What were you like as a kid? How have you changed since you were a child?
I was very hyper and social and adventurous and imaginative/deep and people pleasing, yet prone to terrible outbursts of sadness or rage; not much has changed...
What was your high school experience like?
It blowed. I failed a whole year of classes but graduated on time. I skipped class. I got high in school. I enjoyed watching and participating in drama, but mostly watching. I spent the first year being a friendless loser and outcast and was envious of others.
Talk about a significant event from your life.
Too personal! Not enough time. Come meet me in real life.
Do you like kids? Why or why not?
I love kids. I remember I was at my friends house about a month ago, maybe, and her daughter really liked me for some reason and was showing off her toys, etc. I loved reading a book to her and using voices. But I don’t think I want any kids of my own because of my genetic disorders and the fact that I can’t take care of myself. Also, the selfish part of me once again, does not want to lose all of that time.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I would encourage them to express their feelings and let them learn from their mistakes. I would encourage their interests and hobbies. I would do fun things with them and make sure they always feel like they have a voice that is heard. I would never beat them or put them down. I would let them spend quality time with their friends and have a welcoming household.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
I feel this way about my dreams of moving out. The cost of my medicine seems to make it impossible, at the moment at least. I’ve tried to at least two times already. It’s frustrating, of course.
How do you see other people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I see people as troubled. I see them as needing help to reach a happy ending or just some kind of closure. I think a big social problem is just believing whatever is said to them if it comes in an intellectual or factual package.
What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
I get very angry and express it with little hesitation. I sort of become a brat. It’s actually my biggest or even only pet peeve. I see my plans as not only beneficial to me, but to everyone in some way.
Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?
I think I have the capability to be the leader of a group, and I’ve come close to or at least act the part convincingly. I am great at brainstorming and creating a path we can follow which is a big aspect of being a leader, and I have the charm as well. I secretly desire this role.
How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
I wouldn’t say often but I get angry if people talk nasty about me or treat me like an object or pet. I think anger is the most important emotion.
What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?
My birthday!!!!
What is the worst thing that happened to you during the past week?
The asshole, irritating ESE my friends use as a carpool refused to drive me to my best friend’s place where I wanted to spend my birthday at. I gave rides for free all the time but with him he operates on a “I’m doing this so you must do this” mindset. Yucky.
What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?
The purpose of life is to live it as fully as possible and extract meaning from your experiences or from becoming one with your mind in your solitary moments. Life is meaningless which makes it beautiful because you can make whatever the fuck you want the meaning and it won’t be correct or incorrect.
What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?
I would say probably Europe and my home country but I only have fuzzy memories of it. Would like to see it again soon.
How do you dress or manage your appearance?
I like to dress in a bold and unique way that will make heads turn. I like to wear brand names and show that I am worthy. I mostly dress in bright colors but I love to wear an all black outfit just as much. I like meaningful shirts so if I dress casual there’s still something cool to look at.
Do you like surprises?
I feel like this is the hardest question of the bunch because nothing comes as a surprise to me, I either see something before it comes or I’ve already lived through it. So I suppose I’m neutral.
