Duality and love

[noaydi]

I'm french and I don't express myself well.

I want to get back to a citation that ive seen somewhere (thx for the author, sorry I didn't took the name with the quote)

I would actually argue that EIIs are not naturally built for LSEs in terms of appearance/behavior/traits (nor are LSEs for EIIs, etc.). In my experience, it is usually the case that LSE does not really notice EII for a while. EII is usually nondescript, plain, quiet, unnoticed and gently supporting in social situations, while LSE is instinctively attracted to power, beauty, and status, people who are talking charismatically and in control. I also recall an obscure blog about an ESI and her LIE partner--she mentioned that at first he felt like he was "settling" for her because she was not as glamorous as the partners he was used to. I think something similar would apply to EII-LSE.

If EII shows dedicated interest and admiration (which does not always happen, because many EII/people in general aren't really attracted to their duals), only then does LSE start to take notice. This is true of romantic relationships or even same-gender platonic friendships (I literally drew a portrait of one of my classmates, an LSE woman, before we were friends). After this, what LSE likes is that EII is very genuine, guileless, honest, trustworthy, reliable. LSE likes feeling understood, and EII understands people better than most types. I also think LSE likes being reassured of his/her own morality, empathy, and compassion by EII for some reason, though that might be a post for another day.

In some ways, EII is naturally built for LSE, but in others ways, we are very much not built for LSEs. Some (perhaps lucky) people are naturally attracted to their dual, but I would argue this is not close to the majority.

This is something I'm not sure I noticed, because my LSE ex girlfriend was in love with myself even more than I was. The problem was more myself. Anyway, after this ex, I didn't know a LSE for a long time (just had a 10 day story with an INFP).
But this is, with time, something Ive came to understand more and more, especially looking to the dynamic of dominant male ESTJ with normalizing female INFJ, and Ive come to the conclusion that this reasonning can be somewhat extrapoled to approximatelly all form of duality. If you dig a little, love is bullshit, that's the simple conclusion.

I don't know if you a versed in bs like TheRedPill reddit problematic, the rethoric is based almost only on the problem of the citation. Ppl, from a very young age, and to a very old age, are expecting unconditionnal love as if it was something magic. But idk, at some point of my life, and with the help of my experience + socionic, I came to understand there was a bug and a kind of lie in love after all, and the post I'm quoting is expressing a little the stuff Ive intuitively in my mind. I prefer to not analyze too much that (because srsly I didn't had that much this problem) but I find that this is relatively depressing. I don't know how to express this better and in all honesty I'm waiting for ppl expressing this problem better than myself. The quote express it already very well.

My doubt are possibly only linked of some of wrong experience of my life previously. Perhaps love exist, idk.


edit : I want to go a little further with something Ive noticed : ESTJ (I speak for my dual but it's probably the case for every duality) especially when arrogant and "unhealthy" (I don't like this word because it became with time synonym to "immoral" wich have imo nothing very much to do with healthyness, but this is another subject), actually use INFJ ("psychologyze" them in a very bad way, potentially making them feeling very bad) in order to clash with their demonstrative/ignoring in order to actually fight with their real "ennemy", ie INFP. Ive seen this dynamic a bunch of time in youtube and this seem actually to attract bitch/whores/stacy (sorry can't help but be nervous now). The guy is already actually the Chad of the Delta quadra, getting the money, the girl, and everything, plus they try to psychologically kill someone "inferior" socially. Good ESTJ is either depressed ESTJ or ESTJ managing to make INFJ and INFP feel good together instead of trying to look for bad things in INFJ for beginning a war with INFP. Remove my troll aspect and you will perhaps understand somewhat what I try to say, if you have something to say, if you feel it's true, etc. I can't share example as they are more than often in french.