Member Questionnaire 1 (Shackleton)
What is beauty? What is love?
Beauty is the enjoyment of attributes of a thing. Love is a desire for the well-being of a thing. I consider anything that (1) is valuable, and (2) can endure, to be beautiful.
What are your most important values?
Speaking clearly, precisely, and in good faith; identifying something of value and defending it; being honest with one's self; being willing to go against the prevailing narrative.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I don't hold any religious beliefs because I've been unable to find a convincing argument in favor, irrespective of the attractiveness of the idea of a transcendent being.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
A few wars were justified. Militaries are absolutely necessary in order to have any hope of autonomy. Power is the ability to destroy; even defense is the destruction of threats.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
The longest conversations I've had have been with my friends concerning: personal sentiments towards certain people or their way of being, criticism of stupid decisions people have made, criticism of design decisions in games or writing decisions in other media.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
no
What do you think of daily chores?
I pay so little attention to my surroundings that it seldom occurs to me to do anything around the house. Doing things on a schedule is tedious, but for me necessary.

To put into perspective just how little I care about maintaining pleasant surroundings, there are posters and drawings by my little cousin (aged 7) on my bedroom wall, left there from 2 years ago when she used to live here. I'm currently using a powerpuff girls comforter and no sheet, and my pillow is a folded up blanket stuffed into a pillowcase. For breakfast, I had water. The main exception is that I'll clean up anything that has a foul odor, since I can't tolerate stench.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I can't think of anything I've seen on TV that wasn't either terrible or a guilty pleasure. The only show I liked well enough to mention is True Detective, for being uncompromisingly ugly, detailed, sentimental, and blending the real with the surreal in a relatively seamless way, not to mention its grounding in existential philosophy. That said, I don't watch much TV or many movies.

As for music, I like anything that more or less does the same as above described. I don't care how it sounds.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
The anticipation of the loss of loved ones is the usual cause of me crying, though that doesn't happen often. I tend to grieve for unusually long periods of time. I don't think that bears explanation.

As for things that make me smile, I like surprisingly blunt statements of fact, and realistic portrayals of people fucking up in banal ways. I dreamed once that I was unable to cross the street due to traffic, and a guy walked up to me and started going on and on about weed and I'm just smiling politely trying to find an opening to cross, but it just won't let up, so I'm trapped listening to this dissertation on the various strains and their effects just trying not to be rude, and thinking back on that makes me smile. I like cats.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
I feel at home when people are willing to listen to me rant about things that piss me off, and will join in and do the same. The rest of the time, I tend to prefer to be alone with my thoughts.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
Passive, non-confrontational, lazy, inexpressive, distant, timid, at times abrasive and inconsiderate, paranoid.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
Perceptive, well-spoken, sympathetic. I've been told I'm funny, but your friends always think you're funny.
In what areas of your life would you like help?
I find difficulty in identifying anything worth pursuing.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
See above lol.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
The expectation that I get loud and boisterous is nerve-wracking and unappreciated. I like when people say what they mean and aren't afraid to tell me exactly what they actually want from me.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
The ability and willingness to be direct, say what they mean, and push me to keep moving.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
My main concern would be trying to find a way to expose them to the reality of worldly threats in a safe way so as to allow them to incorporate those threats into their ethos and develop the skills necessary to combat them, though I'd also be concerned with teaching them to be able to discern whether they're being lied to. I think the best way to do that is through fiction, games, and outdoor activity, generally being the adversary that a parent is supposed to be.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
My inward reaction is to try to see if I really understand what they're saying and why, my outward reaction is to challenge them on it on the spot, detail exactly why I disagree if they stick to it, and if it's clearly going nowhere I just avoid the subject or make fun of them if it's not too serious a subject. If this happens too many times, I start to wonder if it's a good idea to keep seeing them.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I'm used to being disliked and generally thought of as unapproachable. I see people as largely putting on faces to avoid exposing themselves, generally too constrained and disingenuous. A prevalent social problem is the conflation of speaking plainly and being a dick.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I don't choose my friends, people approach me and either they like what I have to say and stay in contact or they leave. Sometimes I'll be trolling or being somewhat impish in an online game and people who find it endearing will stick around.
How do you behave around strangers?
I say little and keep to myself.