Final Fantasy Abridged
@Suzaku
Chapter 1: The New Light Order
The sky was orange and felt a curious mixture of ominous doom and new hope.
“It feels strange how doom and hope can exist so closely together” Yuna said to her friend Garnet as she looked around at all the people standing. Almost all the White Mages from the varying Final Fantasy games were here atop this plateau that sat roughly 1.5 miles high. A beam of light poured on a stone podium in front of them as they all waited for their instructions from the highest ranking White Male Elder.
Garnet didn’t respond. She was kind of tired of all this white mage do-gooder save the world crap. She also rolled her eyes at how almost all the White Mage bodies were that of the female gender. Once again, females were in the shadows of servitude instead of being in the glorious light of leadership. But a White Mage Elder would just say something cheesy and inspiring like ‘Servitude is really the strongest power there is.’
Garnet tried for a few years to shake off her white mage roots. She tried to be more of a pure summoner that just focused on calling monsters. That didn’t work out too well, and she almost killed Vivi one day in the process. She wanted to be a Gunner class for awhile like Yuna did, but she couldn’t really shoot stuff for her life. Garnet just wasn’t a pure damage dealing class. She felt empowered and more self-confident from her adventures with Zidane but still, her role in life was still that of healing others. She didn’t know how to liberate the women of Alexandria…. The only female that knew how to wield a sword had unfortunately turned down a dark and immoral path: the fabled Dark Knight Beatrix.
“You are a White Mage bitch, just accept it” a sassy and stereotypically gay male white mage by the name of Arcus Lainsfield suddenly said to her. Everybody just called him ‘Arc’ though. He was one of the few males amongst the white mages. Similar to a gay male social worker in a modern day college course filled with females learning about psychology. Arc was tall, lanky and had sandy brown hair.
“Shut up Arc” Garnet said. She gritted her teeth and used every ounce of strength inside her to not summon Leviathan right here to tail-whip him off the plateau. It was so annoying how he was one of those goody goodies who got every answer right on the tests. And was sooo not the type most women would ever date even if he was straight…. He could be a friend or something, but Garnet already had enough friends.
The plateau they were all standing upon just wasn’t a plateau, but a place known as the White Mage academy. It was far from a traditional looking school or institution, but more of a sacred holy place without a lot of material distractions where white mages could meditate and harness their natural gifts. Still, there were tests and lessons and teachers and bullies and all those things one did not like about school. The path to becoming a White Mage Elder was long and torturous.
“This must be so big for ALL the white mages EVERYWHERE to be here” Eiko said in her squeaky little girl voice, obviously stating the obvious. Her natural white mage essence had caused it to be where she could not age.
“Yeah I wonder what’s going on” Aeris Gainsborough said. She was half thinking of what Cloud looks like with his shirt off, and half thinking about what was actually going on. Her thin hands were clutched tightly around her ultimate weapon, Princess Guard, ready for anything.
After a lot of waiting, an old man finally walked atop the stone podium and cleared his throat. “Ah-hem” he said, and immediately all the women stopped gossiping and turned to him.
“You must be wondering why you were all summoned here” the stern man said. His name was Omarishu Tyniesse, aka the most powerful White Mage in all of Gaia. Look at him funny and he was bound to cast a Holy spell so devastating it would corrupt your soul and future children for thousands of eons. He was naturally powerful and thus naturally respected.
“But first- a small discussion on how you all performed on last week’s exam. As usual, Arc scored the highest with 15,000 points. The lowest… Rosa with only 740. I am disappointed in you, Rosa. The rest of you did such a mediocre and pointless job that you are not worth mentioning. All I can say is: do better. Get over your own selfish female concerns because Gaia needs you now more than ever.”
This guy is such a douchebag Garnet thought, but she wouldn’t dare to say that aloud because of the raw power that Omarishu wielded. He really would split up her insides with a Holy magic spell. All the while thinking he was completely in the right. Technically and very formally he was still ‘one of the good guys’, but she had a hard time with his methods and his rampant misogyny.
Omarishu continued: “Speaking of being needed, you are all gathered here this evening for a very special occasion. Now, it’s been no secret that of recent generations, the White Mage Order has been very progressive. We’ve allowed people who studied white magic to also be other classes- as we are not naïve to how brutal and sociopathic the world really is, and how you need more than just sissy white magic to protect yourself in life." Omarishu looked right at Arc as he said that, to give him some much-needed humble-ness for scoring so good on tests but still running away from real life battles when he wasn’t in school. A few girls laughed at him.
“I am thrilled to announce that the time of this liberal mollycoddling and ‘Letting People Be Who They Are’ crap is OVER!” the 350-year-old man said as he triumphantly raised his hands in the air as if he was strong as a virile 24-year-old spear thrower.
A few people cheered, but most just stayed silent. “SILENCE!” Omarishu said. And well, people got silent.
“The sad truth is that the Elders’ prophetic visions never falter… a dark presence is indeed rising to Gaia. One that requires better strategical thinking. Adapt or die, and so we must adapt. Yes, in modern times, it has been more efficient for white magic to be supplemented with other roles and classes. White Mages who are gunners, white mages who are black mages and white mages who are Warriors.”
Aeris, Garnet, Rosa, Vanille, Eiko and Yuna and Arc all kind of just looked at each other.
“This ends today” Omarishu said in his deeply powerful and masculine voice. “From here on out, all White Mages have been ordered by the High Council to practice White Magic and White Magic only. The pure and raw healing will be necessary from all of us as the world becomes more corrupt , more dark, more without light. We are calling it… the New Light Order.”
The white mages looked at each other again in awe as a few people gently clapped. Garnet wasn’t happy about this, but somehow for Yuna she felt like it was the right thing to do. More than ‘right’ she just felt drawn to it.
“And if you are wondering, no, you don’t have a choice. We need all the soldiers we can get for this Rising Dark. If you do not adhere to the new rule of White Magic only- to focus your talents solely on the healing arts, you will not only become immediately banished from the White Mage community, but we will make the ultimate example out of you: You will be banished as one of the ClassLess. The Ultimate Social Pariahs. That’s right, you will be like an ugly obese NPC innkeeper housewife with no special abilities!”
Naturally, everybody gasped at that. Omarishu always meant business. He would follow through with his threats.
“A classless female… I can’t think of anything worse” Rosa whispered.
“We are, however, not totally without compassion. Those White Mages who thought they could somehow avoid this meeting to do whatever they want… even though it has been very clear for weeks how serious this meeting is, they will not be immediately turned class-less but put on probationary status until the High Council has felt their redemption has been earned.”
Omarishu glared sternly at all the listening bodies. “And don’t think you can be so clever as to think you can be such a skilled practitioner of White Magic and do that dykey feminist gun shooter thing or whatever sub role you all currently acquire. It doesn’t work that way- everything has a price. We need people totally devoted to pure healing magic above all else. We will know if you are breaking this rule, and you will be appropriately punished. Do I make myself clear?!?”
“Yes your Highness” the mostly-women said in unison.
“That is all for today” Omarishu said. He cleared his throat again. “Oh – one last thing. Normally you are tested once every month. That is going to be changed to once a week. You will be tested now more than ever before in your life… but it is to prepare you for what’s to come. Not all of you are going to live in the upcoming battles. Decide right now if that’s going to be you."
With that, Omarishu left the podium for all the White Mages to fathom what just happened.
~end chapter~
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