I don't get dual relationships (duality)

[golden]

@Adam Strange
I don't know if you ppl think like this because its part of your culture or because its part of your type/quadra values or doesn't have anything to do with any of that, but it seems to me like you think in relationships and marriage as if you were doing a business or acquiring a product. Like if such way of viewing relationships assure you a "good purchase" or something like that, and in the moment your "product" doesn't work as you expected you just throw it out. I don't think that seeing relationships or ppl as products, goods or things is going to improve your experience in that area or reduce problems, I tend to think that its just going to increase them.

Adam uses this acquisitional and transactional language for relationships, but I don’t think it’s the norm even in the U.S.

[Adam Strange]

Adam uses this acquisitional and transactional language for relationships, but I don’t think it’s the norm even in the U.S.

I agree that using acquisitional and transactional language for relationships is not the norm in the U.S. It is more customary to use flowery words and to proclaim undying love, etc., etc.

But somehow, I don't see too many short, fat, poor, and ignorant people marrying super intelligent, thin, rich movie stars, so I tend to believe that some transactional analysis is going on there somewhere, whether it is spoken of or not.

And as for any acquisitional aspects of my speech, I'd have to say that I, unlike those little Sweetheart candies, have never said to a woman "Be Mine". Lol.
One of the first music videos I posted on here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDUjeR01wnU) was Lesley Gore's "You Don't Own Me", a sentiment that I heartily agree with.

I tend to look at my GF's as equal partners. But wait, maybe calling them "equal" is transactional. I need to think about this.
Or not.

[Myst]

Adam uses this acquisitional and transactional language for relationships, but I don’t think it’s the norm even in the U.S.

I don't get why people get hung up on language use lol, it's pretty obvious Adam does have feelings just fine, he has talked about his struggles with them indirectly and sometimes even directly, and about his relationships, with things like attention for the partner etc.

Btw the talk or this way of thinking about "wife material" is pretty standard for older people in my country. It's maybe a bit old fashioned here but it's not abnormal or anything

So that's part of why I don't get hung up on it maybe lol

To quote an ESI to whom I told that I have no feelings, "There is a difference between not having feelings and not talking about them."

Yup

Also there is a difference between not having feelings vs just not seeing them, bc of suppression / low ability to process the feelings to have them show directly in a safe enough way.

I agree that using acquisitional and transactional language for relationships is not the norm in the U.S. It is more customary to use flowery words and to proclaim undying love, etc., etc.

Yah undying love then next day the person sobers up/cools off and then it's no longer undying love heh. An emotional ex bf of mine - IEI-Fe if you wanna socionify but eh - when I first met him (I talked with him online for a week before that), we started talking pretty soon about some emotional memories and at one point I got like, sad, sentimental like I never do and then he went like err he didn't confess his undying love for me but it was something close to that. So.... huh? (I ofc didn't take it seriously, I was like whatev but I figured he at least liked me so I was OK)

Sure I like flowery emotionz but only if actions support and prove their seriousness.

But somehow, I don't see too many short, fat, poor, and ignorant people marrying super intelligent, thin, rich movie stars, so I tend to believe that some transactional analysis is going on there somewhere, whether it is spoken of or not.

Subconsciously for most people or consciously for the golddiggers yah

And as for any acquisitional aspects of my speech, I'd have to say that I, unlike those little Sweetheart candies, have never said to a woman "Be Mine". Lol.
One of the first music videos I posted on here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDUjeR01wnU) was Lesley Gore's "You Don't Own Me", a sentiment that I heartily agree with.

I tend to look at my GF's as equal partners. But wait, maybe calling them "equal" is transactional. I need to think about this.
Or not.

Yepppp totally transactional.