Suz just wanted to say that I agree with everything you say 100% - you put my exact thoughts in a much more eloquent and polite way : D
When you were speaking about making innacurate accusations, I have a good example from few days ago:
I was at a workshop which was about work with immigrants (i work with children, and there are some immigrant children among them)...so we had an exercise where the IEE coordinator asked us different questions about ethical dilemmas. One of the questions was: Is it appropriate for a student volunteer to dress in a mini skirt and blouse with cleavage when she goes working with teenage Afganistan boys? I answered that I don't see it as wrong, but I do see it as unprofessional because of the distraction and awkwardness this might cause - that it will be much more difficult for her to build a connection with these boys with this distraction interfering. I said there was appropriate time and place for different clothes and that I understand that teenagers like appreciation and attention, but that she should reserve those clothes for some other occasion. Then all hell broke loose (everybody there was SUPER PC besides me and some LSI girl lol) The coordinator, visibly annoyed, asked me if I think that a teenager who dresses provocatively likes attention? And I answered duh, isn't that obvious - if you dress sexy, you like for others to acknowledge you as sexy, it's common sense (i used to dress like that as a teenager and it was because I liked attention, not because those clothes were comfortable, duh. I obviously wouldn't dress like that if I was living on a deserted island.).
Then the coordinator was seriously pissed off and everybody became uncomfortable lol. And then she goes: "so you think girls who dress sexy are asking for it??!!" WHOA - where the fuck did I say anything like that. I made a simple common sense observation with zero judgment - i've zero problem with people dressing sexy or wanting to be seen as attractive, all I think is that it's distracting and unprofessional in some settings, like work, ..., funeral : ) etc. Let your freak flag fly when you go out partying or to the store or whatever, what do I care - I will even think to myself you're hot and confident, good for you lol. And ofc nobody has any right to do anything unwanted no matter how you're dressed - but the point still stands - you like to be noticed, which is not a crime.
Anyway... I tried to explain this to the coordinator, but it was like I was talking to the wall - there was some sort of judgmental scold on her face and it was like she stopped listening to me and was completely absorbed in some fake outrage - is if I broke some PC rule and after that I was the enemy. Like a robot with a pre-written script she started lecturing me on consent, how nobody is aloud to touch you no matter how you're dressed (um, yeah, I just said that myself???) bla bla. It's like you agree with her 100% and use all the correct words, or you're vilified. I wasn't even pissed at her, I just found the whole situation so completely hilarious, irrational and absurd.
@Kim when you said I would consider you radical: yes, your views are pretty radical compared to mine and I don't agree with everything, but you don't come across as hostile or alienating - even when we disagree, you debate in a normal friendly way