The 16 Types Adventures

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Chapter 81: God Is Gay

Evil Death Coach Regina Horton, who was a Pure demon in the other world, was now just a human in this No Gay world. Along with her husband Omar Warren, who was also a Pure Demon, is now a human. They were lying in bed together. They were on a vacation in Paris. The sun had just came up.

Renee brushed her legs together, enjoying the way the satin sheets felt on her skin. “I could look in your eyes all day…” Renee said to Omar. She kissed him. She brushed a hand alongside his chocolate skin. “Interracial marriage is acceptable unlike the filth of homosexuality” she said.

“Don’t talk about that. Why are you talking about that? It doesn’t….even really exist anymore.”

Regina looked at Omar. “Sadly it still does. In dreams. And thoughts. And fantasies. In…potentiality. I wish I could just make it all go away so we could live life.”

“We are living life” Omar said. “And don’t be silly. You can’t live life unless you think. At least, a little bit.”

Regina traced a finger down along Omar's chest. Black dudes are so hot, she thought. “I know but….to think that I have to allow homosexuality to exist even in my thoughts angers me” Regina said. “There has to be some way to turn them off.”

Omar shook his head. “People think. I mean, we dream, and visualize stuff a-and…”

“Fantasies” Regina scoffed. “I like reality much better.”

“This isn’t a romantic relationship to you?” Omar asked, puzzled.

“Love is real. But that’s not the point. The point is….homosexuality needs to go away. Or I’m not satisfied.”

Omar stood up. “What are you talking about honey? It IS done away with. Most gay men die when they hit puberty and realize they’re gay, no man is active with his homosexuality…..the world is at peace, there’s not even any magic or powers.”

“Yes, there is. In our dreams and ideas. Therapists and the world leaders know of this. It all needs to be stopped.”

“You can’t…you can’t have life without thinking, Renee. I-I’m sorry but, I just think you should maybe let this gay shit go?”

Regina grabbed Omar by the shoulders and shook him violently. “There has to be somebody powerful enough to help me….”

“Well in my old life, as a Pure Demon, I did business with a great being called the Dreamstopper. He can….stop dreams, a-and thoughts. But in this world, his powers would be gone and he’d just be a regular straight person like everybody else or….”

Regina's eyes lit up. “A therapist.”

Omar nodded. “Technically, the Dreamstopper’s power lives on in therapists. To erase the insecure and not-real thoughts in people’s heads so we can all just get a job and be normal and follow the rules” he said.

Regina frowned. “That means….RPG classes and powers and gay love and hope still exists, just in a very diluted form. He tricked me.... The ****** tricked me.” Renee was FURIOUS and looked like a bitch on PMS, her skin flushed a warm mandarin color.

Mr. Warren gulped. “There’s not a way to end ALL magic, I mean magic is the reason for all things being, you know?” Mr. Warren said. “Including yourself.”

“Nonsense. We evolved from apes” Regina said.

“Yeah but who made the apes?” Omar asked.

“Well they evolved from…well see, it all started with the first life form.”

“And how did that come into existence? Something from nothing? It just doesn’t make sense! All you scientists talk about evidence. Where’s the evidence for *that?*” Omar had one of his eyebrows raised.

“Big Bang…Before life there was matter.”

“And who made that? The raw matter. The first ‘something.’”

“….Uh….It’s inevitable because um well you take the square root of te divided by the molecular structure of Prometheus’ triangle... Oh go fuck yourself, Omar.”

“Magic. It’s the only solution. A pure force of spark that contains everything, literally everything, even homosexuality. I-I’m sorry honey but- I mean it has to exist in some form. Or even you can’t exist!”

“You’re boring me.” Regina grabbed a dagger out of her dress and slit Mr. Warren's throat.

She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “And I refuse to believe that’s true because I’m….I’m the Idea of Homophobia” Regina smiled sinisterly. “Albeit in a weaker form. But it’s me. Daddy is back. And I am *the* God. Nobody else.”

Regina got up and looked herself in the mirror. She then punched it to bits and froze it a few seconds like The Source did that one time in the Charmed episode ‘Charmed and Dangerous’. When the glass shards fell down you could see her there standing and smiling bitch-ily. She then went in the closet and put on a black dress on. “Sam is going to pay.”