SEIs-ISFps, come hither - part 2

[redbaron]

Oh okay - I see what you mean. I do those sorts of things, but I wouldn't think of them as calculating. They're a more natural and honest form of communication for me than speaking. For example, if I went off and sat alone somewhere, that would be because I felt like being alone (c: ... but if someone approached me, then I'd try to be friendly though I'm probably not in the mood. I don't see why you view that sort of thing as being calculating - it seems pretty much the opposite to me. I think you may view us as being more complex than we are. (c: Admittedly, that sort of hot and cold behaviour I wouldn't exhibit with people I have a comfortable, stable relationship with ... but when I do, it's because my feelings are honestly hot, then cold - so I'm showing that. lol The extent of my strategy in situations like that is "Oh no - I was too friendly with him - now he probably thinks blah blah, so I'll try to pull back next time" - it's like an interaction by interaction thing - certainly not some overriding strategy I've mapped out. I pretty much just take it as it comes, and any vague plans I have (like resolving to pull back or whatever) usually fly out the window when we're actually there together anyway lol - I can't help it - and I just go by feel. He's too friendly or something (c: - so I'm a bit distant. He's a bit distant, so I'm more friendly. It's just about keeping the relationship balanced. Maybe there's some sort of strategy to that behaviour ... but it's pretty innate and basic IMO.

I'm not sure he's consciously mapped it out, no. But I think he's really aware of, and does use his non-verbal communication to adjust the emotional atmosphere between us. I guess you said it better than I did--it's about keeping the relationship balanced. It's maybe calculating in the sense that he knows I'm going to stay away if he does X, therefore he will do X if he feels like previously I had been too friendly with him. Or whatever. anyway, the whole thing is annoying. what, I was "too friendly" last time so you're going to ignore me today? WHATEVER. I know it's his way of coping but it feels like emotional ping-pong. I'm beginning to prefer my SLE friend or just ANYone who's willing to be more consistent with me.

[Rubicon]

I'm not sure he's consciously mapped it out, no. But I think he's really aware of, and does use his non-verbal communication to adjust the emotional atmosphere between us. I guess you said it better than I did--it's about keeping the relationship balanced. It's maybe calculating in the sense that he knows I'm going to stay away if he does X, therefore he will do X if he feels like previously I had been too friendly with him. Or whatever. anyway, the whole thing is annoying. what, I was "too friendly" last time so you're going to ignore me today? WHATEVER. I know it's his way of coping but it feels like emotional ping-pong. I'm beginning to prefer my SLE friend or just ANYone who's willing to be more consistent with me.

Emotional ping-pong. Meh.

[redbaron]

Emotional ping-pong. Meh.

I love your new avatar! Makes me want to grab an apple and do some decorative peels.

[Rubicon]

I love your new avatar! Makes me want to grab an apple and do some decorative peels.

[redbaron]

haha that's great!

[calenwen]

I don't know how much this relates, but I'll use nonverbal communication and facial expressions in lieu of words frequently. For example, if I'm confused about something I probably won't immediately say "Help. I'm confused" - I'd be more likely to look at someone and shrug with a bewildered look on my face. It's not like I plan on doing this either, but it is a pattern that I have noticed in my behavior.

[Rubicon]

I don't know how much this relates, but I'll use nonverbal communication and facial expressions in lieu of words frequently. For example, if I'm confused about something I probably won't immediately say "Help. I'm confused" - I'd be more likely to look at someone and shrug with a bewildered look on my face. It's not like I plan on doing this either, but it is a pattern that I have noticed in my behavior.

Yeah, me too. (c:

So do you relate to what I wrote about the physical awareness getting on your nerves?

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

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