Paradox, almost:

  • I want to find a good cause, one cause that I can devote myself to
    I do not want to waste time on something that is completely insignificant
    I cannot really know the difference if I don't try out somethig (even with theoritical contingency plannings)
    While all along, I am gauging whether or not having such a cause is worth it in the first place


It is almost like I'm stuck between putting it in 1st gear, and putting it in reverse. There seem to be a lot of neutral moments. Some times that feel like I've 'stalled'.


And... it's like one of those logical paradoxes --- both are sort of equal in my eyes, and there is no way to differentiate between the two possibilities. So maybe I'm also searching for a way to help me find out what to do. Meta-data or something.

Looking inwards, to my principles, values, and beliefs helps somewhat - but I've already got that down. That provides so much directoin. Looking outward is not much different.




Hmm, maybe it's like this -- I wish there was somethiing I could believe in. Like an Sj going to church. But I'm not that way, apparently. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed or anything. I'm just trying to relate, and throw out ideas. Maybe someone has been this way before, and could provide some insight. If not, don't worry about it.

You could interpret this thread as me asking for directions. I'm not lost, though. I just want to compare maps to make sure I've got a good grasp of things!