What's your backstory?

[totalize]

Sorry to hear about your father. Have you ever considered writing a story or novel based on your childhood? It wouldn't need to be for public consumption, but it's different and interesting. It's reminiscent of Humans of New York. Where do you hope to go from here? If you don't mind me asking.

I thought about it. But I will not write something that is not read.

I was born in a war-torn country in the Balkans. My mother was a fairy. My father was a brick-wall. My childhood, it's a bit of mystery. We emigrated from one country to the next before we finally found our roots in Canada. Somewhere between the dramatic shift of scenery from a homely environment surrounded by family to a refugee camp surrounded by strangers, I lost a part of myself that I have yet to retrieve. I lost myself even further in athletics, which proved not to be the path for me, so I turned to my current boyfriend, the Internet, for empty entertainment solidarity. For years I was trapped in a haze where cyberspace took precedence over meatspace. My friends and family distanced, my studies suffered, my hobbies waned. Now the crux of my memories from that time period are permeated by a sense of longing for a past that ceases to exist. It's as if my body existed on one plane, reality, while my brain lackadaisically navigated through a thick fog of dissociation, internalizing only a tiny subset of my experiences, prioritizing fantasy over reality.

I've lived a relatively charmed life, but I think I'm still in the process of making amends with my hazy and disjointed backstory, which might be why I created this thread. I was curious how many other people felt as lost and confused as me, so we wouldn't feel so lonely in our search for clarity.

IME making amends with a disjointed backstory requires a lot of soul-searching. But now I know who I am, and it does help. Good luck !