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Thread: Enneagram Compatiblity, Intertype Relation, Common Matches

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    Default Enneagram Type Compatibility

    Hello all.

    I have been looking at this chart with much curiosity for some time now. I have to say that I can come up with justified reasoning for most of the matches...
    I have not seen anything similar to this (though I would like to see more opinion on it).

    I have to say...the amazing part about this whole thing for me is I am most likely 5w4 and the one male in my life I would ever consider a truly and totally connected soulmate type is a 5w6. It is the most fluid relationship I had ever engaged in.

    I wondered others thoughts on this.......

    http://similarminds.com/idealtypes.html

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    1+9 = Lsi/esi+iei/sei - No
    2+8 = Sei/ese+sle/see - No
    3+7 = Lie/lse+iee/ile - No
    4+6 = Iei/eie+??? - ???
    5+5 = ... 10

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    Tells me nothing I don't already know; that I should get with Twos.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Orest Reinn View Post
    1+9 = Lsi/esi+iei/sei - No
    2+8 = Sei/ese+sle/see - No
    3+7 = Lie/lse+iee/ile - No
    4+6 = Iei/eie+??? - ???
    5+5 = ... 10
    heh

    im not sure if this is what you meant, but it does seem that, as a 5, another 5 is often appealing, at least initially. it is easier not to explain to people about detachment because being detached doesn't seem to make much sense in the context of attachment. and it is understandable that interest in a relationship would imply an interest in attachment.
    whenever the dog and i see each other we both stop where we are. we regard each other with a mixture of sadness and suspicion and then we feign indifference.

    Jerry, The Zoo Story by Edward Albee

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    I'm an 8, and while I think 2's are useful, but 1's are the most attractive to me in terms of relationships. I benefit more from a partner who will see to details and be fussy about making sure things are done right. I'm more of a long term strategist than someone who will pay a lot of attention to day to day stuff, so I need that. I also don't think a 2 would be inclined to stand up to me the right way.

    6's seem to be most attractive to me in terms friendship. I'm not sure if I've ever been in a relationship with a 6 or not. If so, then the one I'm thinking of was a good match for me.

    9's... I dunno, sounds like I might be tempted to bitch at him/her and tell him/her to grow some balls.

    5's are easy enough to get along with. Too distant to have a serious relationship with though.

    3's, 4's, 7's, and 8's could go either way in terms of friendship, but I can't see myself in a relationship with any of them (except maybe an 8? never tried it... see first paragraph). I don't respect insecure 8's that think the only way they can be free is to trample on and control others.
    SEE

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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    is it just me, or does this remind anybody of anything? (credit goes to salawa for first pointing this out)

    These two types bring to each other complementary and reciprocal talents—just what the other needs but is not necessarily aware of. For instance, Enneagram Fives need to be more identified with their body and with their instinctive energy; they need to be more engaged with the practical world and to feel their own sense of power and capacity. They can learn these qualities from Eights. On the other hand, Eights need to be more thoughtful and aware of the impact of their actions on themselves and on their environment. They need to know more and to think of consequences more carefully before acting. Every action produces a reaction, and it is not necessarily the one that the Eight wants to happen. This kind of analytic foresight is something Eights can learn from Fives.

    Besides these qualities, both Fives and Eights bring a common insistence on independence and non-interference from others. Both types are aware of boundaries and dislike intrusion. Both enjoy a good debate, and both admire someone who stands up for himself intellectually and/or physically. Both types feel like misfits and so they understand each other's emotional core, often in an unspoken way. Both types need personal space, but when they find each other, they can both show a surprising degree of need and vulnerability. They see the other person behind the defense, relating to each others' sense of dignity and hidden vulnerabilities. Both can be stoical toward their own suffering and unhappiness, with little or no self-pity. As a couple, they can bring power and depth, action and thoughtfulness, brilliance and brashness to their world. They are also the natural protectors and advisors of each other: Eights love to protect less tough Fives, and Fives help Eights recognize the subtleties for their plans and actions. These two types can therefore band together as a coalition of power and brains, a formidable combination.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    5's are easy enough to get along with. Too distant to have a serious relationship with though.
    What do you think of Intimate Fives ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by machintruc View Post
    What do you think of Intimate Fives ?
    you should really know that intimate fives are most often the girly sex maniacs, sadly often predisposed to the types of mental delusions that bring about the maternal instinct followed by the sudden swoosh and abortive measures
    whenever the dog and i see each other we both stop where we are. we regard each other with a mixture of sadness and suspicion and then we feign indifference.

    Jerry, The Zoo Story by Edward Albee

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    Quote Originally Posted by machintruc View Post
    What do you think of Intimate Fives ?
    I don't know. I still can't imagine I'd do better with a 5 in a relationship than a 1 (or even 6).
    SEE

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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    For me, 9s or 2s are likely the best partners. Any S+ type does well for me, even if a D0 or D- is better paired with a D+ like me given that otherwise the relationship may become too competitive.
    Last edited by FDG; 03-31-2008 at 08:46 AM.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by islandgirl View Post
    This is a total n00bish chart.

    Fives are quite cool, but I'm more attracted by Twos, because Twos are super fuckin' cool.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    Tells me nothing I don't already know; that I should get with Twos.
    I think you should get with Fours, because you find them inherently attractive.

    If you were LSI, you'd be seeking for a Two.


    But, it's normal to like Twos. Everyone that hate Twos should be considered mentally ill.

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    Default Enneagram Compatibility

    I made a little graph to show my compatibility with each enneagram type.

    • E1 : 0 |||||||||| 10
    • E2 : 0 |||||||||| 10
    • E3 : 0 |||||||||| 10
    • E4 : 0 |||||||||| 10
    • E5 : 0 |||||||||| 10
    • E6 : 0 |||||||||| 10
    • E7 : 0 |||||||||| 10
    • E8 : 0 |||||||||| 10
    • E9 : 0 |||||||||| 10


    This isn't definite, but it more or less shows how I see the potential for a quality relationship between me and each of the enneagram types.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    I like how you did this actually. Very graphy.
    Moonlight will fall
    Winter will end
    Harvest will come
    Your heart will mend

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    4-7 duality ftw!!
    4w3-5w6-8w7

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    Default enneagram compatibility

    What enneagram types are compartible?
    And which ones clash?
    Is there any logic to it like with socionics?

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Ugh

    Quote Originally Posted by E
    On the other hand, healthy Sevens feel that their emotional and physical needs are largely met by a healthy Two. The Two helps the Seven feel relaxed and fulfilled, reducing the temptation to wander.
    Doesn't mention anything about autonomy :S

    Quote Originally Posted by E
    The Two and Seven combination can have a positive effect on people that is virtually unmatched by any other couple: they can be warm, welcoming and generous, making others feel loved and invited to the party.
    This makes me want a healthy 7
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Ugh



    Doesn't mention anything about autonomy :S



    This makes me want a healthy 7
    Too late, Maritsa. You called us disgusting and now we don't want you anymore, healthy or not. Sorry Chica.
    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
    ― Anais Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim View Post
    Too late, Maritsa. You called us disgusting and now we don't want you anymore, healthy or not. Sorry Chica.
    No, it's never too late

    besides, I said I didn't mean it

    besides, I feel that loving feeling with you so
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Ugh

    Originally Posted by E
    On the other hand, healthy Sevens feel that their emotional and physical needs are largely met by a healthy Two. The Two helps the Seven feel relaxed and fulfilled, reducing the temptation to wander.

    Doesn't mention anything about autonomy
    :S
    What do you mean?
    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
    ― Anais Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by Soupman View Post
    What enneagram types are compartible?
    And which ones clash?
    Is there any logic to it like with socionics?
    I quite like the e-relationship descriptions. They work for me, anyway (but I find it more difficult to figure out someone's enneagram type than his/her socionics type).
    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
    ― Anais Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim View Post
    I quite like the e-relationship descriptions. They work for me, anyway (but I find it more difficult to figure out someone's enneagram type than his/her socionics type).
    what e type is your man?
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    what e type is your man?
    Untypable.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    what e type is your man?
    Quote Originally Posted by Park View Post
    Untypable.
    At this point I say 1w9 with some sexy 4isms.

    Edited to add: I might be biased because I really like the 1 & 7 description.
    Last edited by Kim; 10-07-2013 at 01:07 AM.
    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
    ― Anais Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim View Post
    At this point I say 1w9 with some sexy 4isms.

    Edited to add: I might be biased because I really like the 1 & 7 description.
    More than the 4 & 7 one?
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Enneagram is a very personal and very negative system. It's about self-improvement and doesn't have anything to do with anyone except individuals. It's not meant to be used for relationship compatibility. You might be able to say "x type might like *something* in y type", but there are no hard-and-fast. For instance, most sites that try to make some sort of comparison say that 7s go fantastically with 3s or 2s. I cannot stand 3s, and couldn't be in a relationship with a 2 no matter how healthy.

    It's a lot more personal. For instance, I know I get alone well with 1s, 4s, and 9s. Does that mean every 7 will? By no means. It's just my personal preference. I'm sure other 7s would get along great with 3s, 8s, or 2s.

    If you're looking for compatibility, stick with socionics. If you want to have an idea of what you can expect from a certain person/type or how you can improve your personal well-being, then enneagram is the right system for you to be looking at.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FoxOnStilts View Post
    If you're looking for compatibility, stick with socionics. If you want to have an idea of what you can expect from a certain person/type or how you can improve your personal well-being, then enneagram is the right system for you to be looking at.
    Pshh... if you're looking for compatibility get to know an individual, not a type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Legerdemain View Post
    Pshh... if you're looking for compatibility get to know an individual, not a type.
    People ultimately come to accept the person for who that person is regardless of type. Knowing a person's type doesn't mean you won't like them, it just means that that you can't expect them to give you something they can't. Take a couple who walked into our office with a hurt cat; the gf came up to me (sensing that I am a compassionate person) asked me "would you please give my bf moral support? I don't know how to do this" she sat there on the bench away from him and couldn't say or do anything to comfort him.

    I did sit with the bf and looked at him cry and get nervous about having possibly hurt his cat. He did receive support and comfort from me. No matter how much he likes his gf, she won't be able to do what I can.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Legerdemain View Post
    Pshh... if you're looking for compatibility get to know an individual, not a type.
    If you're looking for a system that describes compatibility*

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    Quote Originally Posted by FoxOnStilts View Post
    If you're looking for a system that describes compatibility*
    bigot

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    Generally speaking, the same outlook triads (reactive, competency and positive) are compatible.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    I'm a 7 dating a 4 and it is usually the "good" life. relatively.

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    I've always enjoyed the company of 3w4s and 8w7s.

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    My best friend is 1w9, then another very close friend is 9w1 and my girlfriend is 9w1 too. I also get along well with other 7s except if there's any kind of power imbalance. Generally my 1 friend is great for doing anything together, we are actually not that different in our free time except that he complains a lot about everything.

    Supervisory relationship I get along best with 1s (seems strange, but they like that I'm a bit light hearthed but still focussed and proactive, and I like that they take care of the details). Get along the least with 8s and 3s.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae16t View Post
    I've considered 4w5 for Park, but we don't really know each other very well, so my opinion is w/e.
    I was sure about 4w5 for the longest time, but there is a pretty pronounced preoccupation with perfectionism and integrity and some other things that really suggest 1w9. Maybe I should dig up what I found yesterday regarding what 1s and 4s find annoying about 7s. That might shed some light.
    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
    ― Anais Nin

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